


Night rather than day

by Snakeboys



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2018-11-18 11:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 57,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11290047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snakeboys/pseuds/Snakeboys
Summary: Daniel invites Jihoon to Netflix and chill, even though everyone says it's a bad idea





	1. Chapter 1

Seongwoo assures him that it’s a bad idea.

That should be enough of a reason to stop Daniel’s intentions, given Seongwoo’s record. If a guy who ruined his mother’s wedding with a sexual toast speech, tells you that something is a bad idea, it probably is. The problem is that Daniel is guided by impulses rather than by rationality, and there is someone who makes him lose all his sanity just by glancing at him: Park Jihoon.

“It’s not a bad idea,” Daniel disagrees, weakly, unconvinced. “You don’t even know Jihoon enough to guess his reaction.”

Thursday nights aren’t supposed to end up in a conversation about if Daniel should chase after his new temporary crush, and that’s why his roommates barely regard his complaints.  Seongwoo, who is already ignoring him in favor of playing on his phone, simply makes a vague hand gesture. Hyunbin, however, sighs and pats his back as a consolation, but his eyes remain strained on the movie they’re watching – at this point, he’s the only one interested in it, though.

“Not only it's a bad idea, but also Woojin will kill you if the word spreads around,” Hyunbin warns in an attempt to be helpful. “Relatives are sacred, Daniel.”

That doesn’t fully convince Daniel, but it creates a bundle of nerves in his stomach. The thing is that Jihoon is pretty, too pretty, and he is different in a lot of ways that Daniel has never experienced. He’s a mystery as well, though that could be because Daniel hasn’t had the chance to intimate.

Woojin could kill him, that’s true, but Daniel knows his secret: deep inside, Woojin is incapable of even hurting a fly, and sees Daniel as a role model even though he’s the definition of a disaster. He’s safe.

 

 

 

 

The funniest part is that, for the last two years, Ong Seongwoo has been joking about how, sooner or later, Daniel would fall head over heels for a freshman. Although his friend’s intention was to tease him, such prediction was based on Daniel’s tendency to develop a crush on anyone who talked to him for more than ten minutes. But he has always lacked the most important part to make his crushes become an actual romantic interest, and forgets about them alarmingly fast. According to Seongwoo, this is the reason why Daniel is going to die single, and much to his dismay, Daniel’s parents agree.

But then Park Jihoon appeared, and he definitely hasn’t spoken to him more than three minutes every time (Daniel hasn’t been counting, that would be pathetic and he isn’t pathetic, is he?), and Woojin is always around, interrupting, reminding Jihoon that they have to go _somewhere_ to do _something_ , as if he’s organically incapable of realizing that Daniel would appreciate a bit of intimacy. And they have known each other for two months, which means Daniel should have moved on by now, and he shouldn’t be spitting gibberish to his friends about how pretty, ethereal Park Jihoon is.

There are many ways in which Daniel could convince Jihoon to go on a date with him. To begin with, he could offer him some help, since the first year of university requires more effort than just to bury your nose into the textbooks. But Daniel would feel bad if he approached him with lies. He could simply invite him on a date, but he doesn’t want Jihoon to realize that he’s so whipped that he would pay for his breakfast, lunch and dinner even though they have exchanged only around twenty words in total.

His only option is, undoubtedly, to be honest while not showing an excessive amount of interest. Translation: hit on Jihoon like any other university student would do if they wanted to have a casual relationship. Even if Daniel doesn’t do casual relationships.

Seongwoo said it’s a bad idea, yes, but on this Friday night he’s out with Hyunbin and other friends, whereas Daniel is alone, tucked into his bed, with a phone in his hand and too much time to think. All in all, if anything goes wrong, he can blame Seongwoo later.

 

 

_02:01 a.m._

_To: Park Jihoon (Woojin’s)_

Do you have plans for tomorrow?

Netflix and chill?

 

_02:15 a.m.  
_

_From: Park Jihoon (Woojin’s)_

Sorry hyung, I can’t tomorrow?

 

Daniel stares at the screen for twenty seconds straight without blinking. Is Jihoon asking him or is that an affirmation? Has he just got rejected for being too bold? Or maybe Jihoon is actually busy tomorrow, and he isn’t just rejecting him in the nicest way possible. It doesn’t have to mean more than the text says, right?

At his own logic, Daniel groans, well aware that he’s just fooling himself. Then, as he starts typing an apology for bothering Jihoon — though it might be too late — he receives a new text.

 

_02:17 a.m._

_From: Park Jihoon (Woojin’s)_

What about Wednesday?

 

 

 

 

In the aftermath of decisions made on Friday nights, Daniel realizes that he hasn’t gone out with a boy in months. The last person he dated was Minhyun, and the relationship was just an excuse to hook up whenever and wherever until Minhyun demanded that they had to take a step further. Minhyun was handsome, polite and undoubtedly the best partner in bed Daniel has ever had, but he couldn’t tell him that he loved him — he could, but it wouldn’t have been true. After that, Daniel decided to give himself a break from dating, managing his crushes by letting them go. That’s it, until Jihoon happened.

Thus, when Daniel finds Seongwoo on the couch with a bowl of cereal on his lap, and proudly announces, that he has scored a date, his friend raises his eyebrows at him in disbelief.

“Stop lying?” Seongwoo says, mouth full.

“I’m not lying, headass,” Daniel protests. He draws out his phone and throws it on the couch, next to Seongwoo, who uses his free hand to catch it. “I can’t believe you don’t trust my flirting techniques.”

Seongwoo rolls his eyes, but then he slides down his index finger on the screen, expression going from skepticism to horror in the span of a second, “What the actual fuck?” He drops the phone like it’s burning, and sends Daniel a judging look, almost embarrassed as well. “First of all, how can you be so bad at hitting on people? Secondly, he has to be your soulmate, because no one can be stupid enough to accept this lame ass invitation.”

Daniel stares at his friend for several seconds, mouth open in offense. Pretty boys like Jihoon must get hit on all the time, so Daniel couldn’t have been that bad if Jihoon agreed to have a _date_ with him. However, there’s no chance for him to point that out because Hyunbin walks into the living room, and complains, “Why are you two so loud?”

When they decided to share a flat with Hyunbin, that strange kid that cried during a lesson once, Daniel wouldn’t have imagined that, one day, one of them would develop feelings for him. But it’s in mornings like this one, in which Hyunbin shows up only in his underwear, hair a mess and eyes barely open, that the silence spreads as Seongwoo gazes at him like he has just seen a god in his living room. In Daniel’s opinion, Seongwoo is lucky that Hyunbin is either too oblivious or ignores that his flatmate is gay, because the way he looks at Hyunbin’s half nakedness could be considered a crime.

Daniel fakes a cough, which pulls Seongwoo out of his daze, though his own confusion remains.  “Jihoon accepted the Netflix and chill invitation,” Seongwoo explains, licking his lips as though it’s hard for him to talk to Hyunbin right now, and then furrows his eyebrows. “He doesn’t look like the type.”

Putting a hand over his chest dramatically, Daniel gasps, “What does that mean? Do I look like the type?”

“Definitely.”

Hyunbin grimaces. “I can’t believe you’re having a midlife crisis at twenty.” At Daniel’s puzzled expression, Hyunbin smiles in a terrible way and reminds him, “Jihoon is Woojin’s _cousin_. You can’t date him and then break up with him two seconds later when you decide he’s not that interesting.”

Though Daniel wouldn’t admit it, the fact that Hyunbin is right is scary. This could be a mistake, a consequence of being blinded by Jihoon’s prettiness, and Daniel might not feel anything for him once he gets to know him. There shouldn’t be a problem, however, if Jihoon turns out to not develop any curiosity for him. But he’s definitely taking some risks.

Daniel gulps, and not minding that Hyunbin is already striding to the kitchen and can’t hear him, and questions, “Who says he’s not interesting?”

Seongwoo laughs at him, however, like Daniel has just made a joke. “He’s a _good_ boy. He’ll leave you first.”

 

 

 

 

Given that Jihoon is, indeed, Woojin’s cousin, Daniel had seen him before he entered the university. At that time, he hadn’t even considered the possibility of him being something more than a kid, because he was just a teen in high school (and so was Woojin) with twinkling eyes and cute cheeks.

The change happened once Jihoon and Woojin joined university and, during the second day of the semester Woojin turned up with his cousin, like brothers in arms, for lunch. Daniel didn’t recognize him at first, even if he had the same bright eyes and full cheeks: there was something different about him that Daniel couldn’t put his finger on, something that left him in awe for a few seconds. Having lunch together didn’t become a habit, though, because Woojin and Jihoon had their own friends and classmates, and anyway hanging out with seniors all the time could be too stressing. Daniel wasn’t upset about that, of course, because that would have been _ridiculous_.

And that’s the exact reason why he can’t possibly be happy either when, on Monday, Jihoon and Woojin join them at their table. Daniel is indifferent, except Jihoon is wearing a pastel yellow sweater that is too big for his frame and Daniel hasn’t seen anyone more adorable in his entire life. Jihoon has something on his lips, too, because they’re shiny and red and Daniel isn’t _staring_ , for real. Seongwoo kicks his shin under the table, and Daniel turns just to find him with a smirk plastered on his face, mocking him.

“Why do you look like you’re going to cry?” Hyunbin asks Woojin, worried. He doesn’t hesitate before pushing his tray forward to share his food with him, and Woojin dives for the offer like a hyena.

“We have a group project,” Jihoon explains as he takes a seat. He’s hugging a thick textbook against his chest, but he sends Hyunbin a smile, leaning his chin on the book. “And he’s mad at me because I didn’t want to partner with him.”

“Smart move,” Seongwoo observes. For some reason, Daniel receives another kick under the table, and then realizes that Seongwoo wants him to react too, so he hurries to nod. He must look like an idiot right now if his friend is so concerned about it. Seongwoo clicks his tongue and says, “Never partner with your friends, just partner with the best students.”

Woojin is unable to hide the glare he’s directing at Seongwoo, and whines, “He’s the best student, dude. Well, after Euiwoong, but they’re doing the project together.”

Daniel snorts, “You’re fucked, then. No one will want to partner with your lazy ass.”

For a second Woojin is obviously about to curse at him, but instead he opts for throwing a dirty napkin at him. Daniel releases an embarrassing shriek, crying out when the napkin lands on his own food; everyone on their table, even a couple of girls he doesn’t know, laughs at him. Woojin flashes him a shit eating grin across the table, and Daniel should take revenge on him right away, but he gets distracted by the way Jihoon is laughing, both hands over his mouth and eyes closed.

Again, he gazes at Jihoon for too long, but Seongwoo is busy imitating Daniel’s shriek and he can’t help him to recover his sanity. When Jihoon manages to calm himself, his eyes flick over to Daniel, as though his instinct has warned him that he’s being watched. However, as soon as they make eye contact, Jihoon startles, not expecting the attention, and Daniel has to admit that it’s almost fascinating to see how fast a blush spreads on his face.

“You can always help him,” Jihoon proposes, tearing his gaze away in discomfort, like he doesn’t want Daniel to realize he’s flustered. It’s obviously too late, and Daniel feels a knot of nervousness growing in his stomach. “Seniors’ moral duty.”

Now it’s Woojin’s turn to scoff, “Getting help from Daniel could be a disaster. As in I could get expelled for writing the dumbest project this university has ever seen.”

Seongwoo lifts his index finger and unhelpfully adds, “I partnered with Daniel once. Never again. I can’t even study if he’s in the room.”

Speechless, Daniel doesn’t have any way to debunk the accusations. It’s true that he’s horrible at group projects, something that probably is related to his allergy to commitment, yet he prefers to keep that hidden for a while. Jihoon will have time to discover all his flaws by himself, and there is no need to display them so soon.

But, really, he can’t believe his friends have just destroyed the second option he had to lure Jihoon into dates: group study sessions.


	2. Chapter 2

Dates have never made Daniel nervous, and this one isn’t an exception. At least, it isn’t an exception until the day before, when he realizes he can’t focus on the lessons for more than five minutes, more worried about answering Jihoon’s messages than about taking notes. They don’t text much, anyway, but Jihoon has started to text him good morning and good night and in return, Daniel always asks him how his day is going.

Such exchange could be considered just a friendly way of getting closer to each other, so Daniel refuses to let any attempt of flirting slide in his texts. Even if his fingers sometimes itch because he has the urge of telling Jihoon that he finds him very, very pretty. There is a high chance he could fuck it up and offend Jihoon before Wednesday, which Seongwoo never fails to remind him, and Daniel decides to be cautious.

Seongwoo is half amused yet half pissed at Daniel’s behavior, since they’re supposed to share their notes in a few classes. Besides, he also has a terrible amount of predictions about how the date will run, and he uses these cruel scenarios to bring Daniel’s attention back to the lessons.

“He looks like he has never had a boyfriend,” Seongwoo whispers during Spatial Composition, pretending he’s resting his chin in his hand, although he’s just covering his mouth. He startles Daniel, who accidentally hits his knee with the table and hisses like a wounded animal. “So he’s going to be a bad kisser.”

“I’m going to stab you with my pen,” Daniel threatens, expression dark as Seongwoo smirks behind his hand. He waves his pen at Seongwoo to prove his point and reasons, “Pretty boys are always good kissers.”

“All your boyfriends were ugly except Minhyun, so you can’t know that.”

“My boyfriends were really hands… Nevermind. At least I didn’t set my eyes on my very oblivious roommate,” Daniel attacks back, and scoffs when Seongwoo stares at him in mild surprise.

The student behind them shushes at them, but they’re lucky enough and the teacher is dismissing the lesson in that exact moment. Daniel is rude enough to spin and lift an eyebrow at the student, and Seongwoo has to hit him to so that he doesn’t create trouble.

Daniel sighs and scolds, “What? How long are you going to wait? Hyunbin isn’t going to realize by himself.”

Seongwoo deliberately ignores him, closing his laptop and shoving it into his bag. Daniel, however, doesn’t move an inch, stare fixed on his friend to pressure him. His friend usually doesn’t avoid the topic, even if he prefers not to mention it, so in the end he gives in, resigned.

“I’m being smart _and_ considerate,” Seongwoo claims, and upon noticing Daniel isn’t gathering up his things to leave, he pats him on the back to usher him. “I can’t just go and tell him, hey, I like you a fucking lot? So now deal with that during the next six months of rent you paid for, before running away from this house.”

Daniel is good at comforting people, but not at lying, so he limits himself to shrugging. After all, he has no idea if Hyunbin would react well to a confession, or if he’d even return it. Hyunbin is very affectionate towards everyone, no exceptions, which makes impossible to tell if he considers Seongwoo a friend, or on the contrary, the frequent touches and casual cuddling mean something else. The only thing Daniel knows is that Seongwoo _needs_ to confess, otherwise he will wind up exploding one day.

“Talking about bad kissers,” Seongwoo says as soon they step out of the class, sinking his elbow in Daniel’s ribs.

It’s not a surprise that, following Seongwoo’s gaze, Daniel spots Jihoon across the hall. He’s not alone, but chatting with Euiwoong and a couple of students that Daniel doesn’t know, but there’s no way Jihoon won’t see him. Not like Daniel wants to go unnoticed or he’s embarrassed, or _anything._

“He’s not a bad kisser,” he manages to utter, throat clogged up.

“Can you feel your legs? Do you remember how to walk?” Seongwoo jeers, discreetly pushing him from behind so that he advances forward. “Should I piggyback you?”

“Shut the fuck up, Ong.”

In fact, Seongwoo becomes silent, but just because Jihoon is walking up to them, lips pressed as though he’s trying to conceal his merriness. Still, the corners of his mouth rise a bit when Daniel smiles at him, and by the time he catches up with them, he’s nervously playing with the straps of his bag, teeth peeking between his lips.

“Hyung,” he greets, a word that is clearly directed only at Daniel. Daniel swears he hears Seongwoo muse _Okay, I don’t exist_ as he backs away, but luckily Jihoon doesn’t. ”Still up for tomorrow?”

Daniel doesn’t understand why he would cower away when it was him who made the offer, but maybe Jihoon is just that nice, giving him a chance to cancel the plans in case he regrets them. He would have to be crazy to cancel _anything_ with Jihoon, even if the plan was Jihoon burying him two feet under. 

“Yeah, of course,” Daniel answers, and he should be feeling something similar to endearment, yet he doesn’t. Jihoon is in front of him, so tiny that he has to look up at him to have a proper conversation, which is definitely cute. But Seongwoo is roaming behind Jihoon, and Daniel finds him doing gagging gestures, pretending he’s vomiting in the nearest bin. It’s hard to keep the composure, and Daniel has to make a great effort to say, “Text me the time you want to come, yes?”

That sounds indecent in Daniel’s panicking mind, but Jihoon nods enthusiastically, relieved, and assures, “I will. I’m excited for tomorrow.”

This time, he’s too shy to speak while staring at Daniel’s face, and spins on his heels to address Seongwoo. As it turns out, Seongwoo gets caught in the middle of a very good representation of how gross their exchange is, head halfway into the bin. He jumps back in surprise, flustered, but Jihoon must think Seongwoo is just that weird, because he simply smiles, “Nice to see you too, hyung.”

“Has he just said-” Seongwoo begins, eyes widening. He observes Jihoon jogging back to his friend, eyes shifting between him and Daniel’s satisfied expression. “Has he just said that he’s excited about hooking up with you... knowing that I was listening?”

 

 

 

_04:05 p.m._

_From: Park Jihoon (Woojin’s)_

what’s wrong with Seongwoo hyung DD: he’s nuts

 

 

 

 

Daniel should have suspected that it would be hard to kick Seongwoo out, but he couldn’t imagine to what extent that would be. Seongwoo needs to be bribed with two free meals and Daniel cleaning his room for a month before he consents to lend him the house, exclusively for him. Hyunbin though is too nice to ask for anything, and Daniel is sure that his presence is the reason Seongwoo doesn’t demand more bribes from him.

“You didn’t make your bed,” Seongwoo points out as he slips on a pair of shoes. Hyunbin, who is waiting for him outside, hears the insinuation and groans in protest. “Have fun getting rejected for your dirty sheets.”

Although Daniel glowers at him, as soon as the door closes behind his friends, he runs all the way to his bed and changes the sheets. He hesitates for a second, because the only clean, available sheets are the ones with tiny Spidermans printed on it, but he doesn’t have a remedy for that. He hadn’t even thought about it, too preoccupied with how he was going to flirt with Jihoon without being awkward, which is impossible when awkward is his one and only state of mind.

It’s around ten when Jihoon arrives, both ringing the bell and knocking on the door. That confuses Daniel, but it’s nothing compared to the moment he opens the door and scans Jihoon from head to toe.

Here’s the thing: it’s obvious Jihoon struggled to dress up, but it’s also evident that, whatever he was striving for, is a failure. The only evidence of his attempt is his hair, which looks pretty good, and his jeans are okay; the rest is a mess. His pink sweater has a giant drawing of a piece sushi with blue eyes, and it’s big enough so that his hands are hidden by the sleeves. Besides, Daniel is sure he’s wearing two completely different shoes.

This is the confirmation that Daniel might be a little bit whipped, because otherwise he wouldn’t find this disaster of a boy endearing.

“I brought food,” Jihoon announces, sheepish, as he pushes a bag against Daniel’s chest. Daniel is frozen, but Jihoon doesn’t notice and steps in without being invited, as if he can read Daniel’s thoughts. Only when both of them are inside, and Jihoon isn’t facing him, he whispers, “You look really handsome, hyung.”

The compliment catches him off guard, and it’s a miracle that Daniel manages to not choke on his own saliva. He’s about to return the compliment, but Jihoon isn’t waiting for it, considering that he just strides to the couch and sits. Then, when he realizes Daniel is still standing and hasn’t followed him, he turns around with a spark of confusion in his eyes.

“Hyung, what are we going to watch?” Jihoon asks him, expectant.

Daniel gapes at him for a split second, and Jihoon blinks at him without understanding, but doesn’t comment anything. Perhaps it’s hard for Jihoon to leap directly into business, hence why he’s still playing the Netflix card, so Daniel holds onto that hope and clears his throat.

“Whatever you want?” he offers, approaching the couch. He spreads the snacks Jihoon gave him on the table, mostly chips and other junk food, as Jihoon looks through the newest movies on Netflix. “And you don’t have to call me hyung. Not even Woojin does.”

Jihoon averts his gaze from the screen and smiles up at him, “I like calling you hyung. Besides, haven’t you and Woojin known each other for a very long time? It wouldn’t be fair.”

That comparison almost cracks Daniel up, and if Seongwoo had heard it, he couldn’t have kept his silence. _The difference is that Daniel wants to suck face with you_ , Seongwoo would have said, and he would have been beyond right.

By the time Daniel settles next to Jihoon, the boy has already chosen a movie, which Daniel doesn’t even bother to check out. As the introduction credits roll on the screen, Daniel answers, “I’ve known him since he was ten. You know, dance lessons. I can’t believe he has stuck to me for so long, but I bet he chose this university because he would miss me otherwise.”

Surprisingly, Jihoon laughs at the joke, though Daniel kind of means the words. He stares at Jihoon to spot a sign that he’s ready to move onto a topic that doesn’t involve family and friends, but the boy just reaches forward for a bag of chips and leans back again. “Where are your roommates?”

“They went out with friends,” Daniel lies, and his stomach does a thousand flips when Jihoon slides along the couch until their legs are pressed against each other. It’s just so that Daniel can take chips from the bag too, but he realizes it’s the first time they have ever had physical contact, so in the middle of a mental breakdown, he blurts out, “They probably won’t come back tonight.”

There isn’t any doubt of how agitated Jihoon becomes after that, as though the implications are too much for him to handle. Thus, there’s no way Daniel can tell him that they aren’t supposed to be on the couch, but in his room; he has a hunch that Jihoon is just going to pull a confused face or to pretend he hasn’t heard him, as if he’s speaking a dead language. Patience is the key, Daniel reckons, because Jihoon might need to relax first.

“You look very close,” he breathes out, trying to change the direction of the conversation. Daniel frowns, unsure, wondering if he has said anything wrong, yet Jihoon continues, “Especially with Seongwoo, is he your best friend?”

“I guess,” Daniel replies, and he can’t help but snicker when Jihoon raises an eyebrow at him, judgmental. “Living together hasn’t helped, though.”

“Stop,” Jihoon protests, grinning, and playfully slaps a hand on Daniel’s thigh. It’s a light hit, but Daniel feigns the opposite and gasps in pain. “You’re mean.”

“I’m honest.”

Instead of arguing further, Jihoon hums and draws his hand back, but there isn’t anything unpleasant about it. Then Daniel shifts his eyes to the movie for a moment, which is a mistake, since it takes him just a few seconds to figure out what sort of movie Jihoon has chosen.

“Fuck, is this a horror movie?”

Amused, Jihoon tries to mask a giggle, and with a mischievous spark in his eyes, he taunts, “Scared?”

They’re not supposed to actually watch it, therefore Daniel shakes his head to deny. Although Jihoon doesn’t believe him, he moves even closer to lean his head against Daniel’s arm, and Daniel takes advantage of that to slip his arm around Jihoon’s waist. Jihoon complies without thinking twice, readjusting to rest against his chest, but other than that, he doesn’t acknowledge Daniel’s clear intention. Bewildered, Daniel stares at Jihoon before deciding that maybe he should wait for Jihoon to take the first step.

However, after focusing on the movie for ten minutes, Daniel is beyond horrified. The movie is about a curse that goes from one person to another through sex, so when the main girl has sex with a guy, a ghost starts following her, a ghost that never disappears and never stops walking towards her. She can’t stop escaping, can’t stop moving, or the ghost will creep up on her. The only way to get rid of the curse is to have sex with someone else, but if the ghost manages to kill that person, the curse returns to the last person who had it.

It’s a turn off. And Daniel is really, tremendously scared now. But when he analyzes Jihoon’s profile, he’s unfazed, calmly eating his chips as though he’s watching a romcom instead.

The last of Daniel’s plans is to suffer through this movie and piss his pants in the process, thus he lifts the arm that he has around Jihoon, and reaches for his neck, fingers caressing from his jaw to his collarbones. That does the trick, and Jihoon turns to glance at him, perplexed, the beginning of a blush spreading on his cheeks. That’s definitely enough for Daniel to forget the dread, and he supposes that it’s the magic part about pretty boys like Jihoon: they become the center of _everything_ alarmingly fast.

Of course, Daniel hesitates, looks into Jihoon’s eyes expecting a signal that he shouldn’t go further. Apart from his red cheeks, there isn’t any warning, and Jihoon is too quiet, too motionless, which means he’s not going to pull away. Daniel leans for a kiss, but Jihoon must have not read the moment the right way, because he decides to speak in that exact instant.

“You know, I thought you disliked me,” he whispers, wide-eyed.

Such confession is too shocking for Daniel to remember that he wanted to _kiss_ him, not to talk, and he finds himself asking, “What? Why would I?”

“You’re very talkative with everyone but you barely talked to me,” Jihoon explains, gripping the bag of chips so hard that Daniel can hear the chips breaking inside. Yet Jihoon doesn’t seem to notice, manifestly too worried about having spoiled the situation. “I had the impression you were avoiding me-”

“I wasn’t,” Daniel cuts him.

It’s not the truth, but it’s not a lie either. Even if he has been trying to chat him up, when they all are together Daniel tends to ignore him, but the reason is that he easily makes a fool of himself and Seongwoo would tease him later. Telling Jihoon all that would equal to profess his love for him, which is out of the question given that right now he looks like an animal being chased by a predator.

Daniel only laughs, throwing his head back against the couch, “God, this is surrealist.”

It’s surrealist, not only because Jihoon thought Daniel didn’t want him around while it was the opposite, but also because Jihoon would never suspect so. Jihoon squirms away from his embrace, embarrassed, and it’s impossible for Daniel not to laugh louder, both amazed and frustrated.

Still, Jihoon releases a contented sigh, “At least I know you don’t hate me.”

“Who says so?” Daniel dares to tease, and much to his surprise, Jihoon shoots him a glare, pursing his lips. The atmosphere is different, however, way more carefree than before, and that pushes Daniel to continue, “Come back here, weren’t you comfortable?”

Jihoon crawls over the couch towards him again, but refuses to let Daniel cuddle him. He stays next to him, using Daniel’s arm as a pillow, but Daniel can’t complain. He deserves it for teasing Jihoon in the first place, and it’s clear that Jihoon hasn’t even considered the possibility of getting kissed tonight, so holding him won’t make a difference.

Unfortunately, they keep watching the movie, even if Daniel is determined to stare at the wall instead. And as if that isn’t enough, around twenty minutes later, Jihoon has the audacity of falling asleep on him.

This date is nothing like Daniel imagined it would be. At this point, Jihoon shouldn’t have his sweater on and no one should be on the couch. But there Daniel is, with a guy whose body size is half of Daniel’s, sleeping on his lap and no way to move him off without waking him up; moreover, the control is out of his reach, which means that Jihoon has abandoned him with his worst nightmare playing on the screen.

The pieces fit right then, as he observes Jihoon’s face drowned in the most absolute calmness: Jihoon has no idea what Netflix and Chill is. That’s why he brought food, why he was so resolute about choosing a good film, and why all the contact they have had was more characteristic of a good friendship than of two guys that were going to make out.

Daniel lets out a low groan. What kind of person doesn’t know what Netflix and Chill means?

 

 

 

 

_01.04 a.m._

_To: Ong_

Jihoon left :( you can come back

Actually come fast because we watched a horror movie and I’m shit scared

I’m so fucked dude, he’s so fucking pretty

 

_01.10 a.m._

_From: Ong_

What can I say

Karma for being a fuckboy

 

_01.15 a.m._

_From: lil Hyunbin_

I usually wouldn’t but

You’re a loser, Kang

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie they watched exists and it's called "It follows" (I don't know if it's on netflix though lol). Recommended if you like horror ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Seongwoo is a terrible friend, but that’s not a recent development.

In times like these, friends are meant to console him after his romantic failures, a skill that Seongwoo lacks. However, Daniel is positive that he has never seen Seongwoo laugh this much, not even that day Daniel, as a junior, fell down the stairs in front of a group of seniors.

Since none of them have classes today, he describes the whole date to Seongwoo and Hyunbin as they eat in a cheap restaurant, which isn’t the best place considering Seongwoo keeps choking on the food while laughing. Hyunbin is always the one to pat him on the back, and Daniel finds odd the reversal in their relationship, because among the three of them, it’s Hyunbin who needs to be taken care of. Definitely not Ong Satan.

“You weren’t going to get laid with those sheets, anyway,” Seongwoo states once Daniel has finished the story. “Didn’t you think you could have borrowed mine, for example?”

Daniel glowers at him for the hundredth time today and sighs, “That doesn’t matter now.”

While Hyunbin sends him a sympathetic smile, as though he has ever gone through rejection — he hasn’t, obviously, and Daniel wishes he was _that_ handsome — Seongwoo steals his food and pries, “Did you tell Jisung about him? Wait, does Jisung even know that Jihoon exists?”

Daniel isn’t ready for that question. It’s a fact that sooner or later, if he wants to go out with someone, he needs Jisung’s _approval_ for it. It’s the problem with his childhood friends: they know Daniel too intimately, and therefore are aware that he tends to be attracted to people that bring trouble. Besides, they are beyond exigent, Jisung being the worst among his friends, because in his eyes no one is worth of Daniel. Especially after Daniel broke up with Minhyun, Jisung has been watching him with hawk eyes to make sure he doesn’t get entangled into another chaotic relationship.

It’s illogical, and even though he isn’t related to Jisung by blood, his friend has adopted an older brother role. It can be a blessing sometimes, but in this case, since Daniel intends to keep Jihoon as a secret for a while, it’s a curse.

“Don’t tell him,” Daniel gasps, and Seongwoo stares at him with a face that doesn’t hint anything nice. Worse: he pushes his food aside and grabs his phone, and Daniel watches in horror as Hyunbin grins after checking what he’s typing. “Oh my god, Seongwoo, don’t you dare. He’s going to interrogate him and scare him away.”

Needless to say, Seongwoo doesn’t even lift his head to heed his complaints, yet Daniel isn’t disposed to steal his phone and act like he’s five years old at a restaurant. He still has a bit of shame.

“The real question here is, okay, Jihoon doesn’t know that you wanted to hook up with him, but did he know it was a date?” Hyunbin asks.

Daniel licks his lips, unsure, “Maybe?”

It has been a long time since Hyunbin looked at him like he’s doing now, as if Daniel is the embodiment of stupidity. There is a chance he is, Daniel won’t deny it, but he prefers to not ponder about the date too much. What if Jihoon’s aim is to be his friend and nothing more, and Daniel is ridiculing himself?

“You have to tell him that it was a date,” Hyunbin chides him, irritated. It’s very unusual to get a scolding from Hyunbin, so both Seongwoo and Daniel glance at him like he has grown two heads. Upon realizing how he’s behaving, Hyunbin becomes coy and mutters, “Or that it was for you, at least.”

Despite the shift in his tone, Seongwoo still seems to be skeptic, “Since when are you giving love advice?”

The oddest part is that Hyunbin doesn’t answer immediately, although his normal reaction would be brushing it off as a joke, teasing back or laughing. Not silence. It’s a bad presage, because when Daniel focuses his attention on him, Hyunbin is avoiding both his stare and Seongwoo’s.

“Well,” he begins, fiddling with his fingers. “I might have been seeing someone?”

The silence that follows is very different this time: it’s heavy and painful, and it’s _almost_ like Hyunbin predicted it would be, like he has been hiding this information from them because he could tell they wouldn’t receive it warmly. Daniel can’t help but to observe Seongwoo, which is an error. If someone three times bigger than him would have punched Seongwoo in the stomach, he would have pulled that same face.

Taking into account that his friend doesn’t seem to be capable of holding a conversation right now, Daniel snaps out of his own shock and replies, “What?”

“What?” Seongwoo echoes one second later, but his tone is flat, empty.

Hyunbin lowers his head, bangs falling over his eyes, and Daniel doesn't understand why he's perceiving this strange guilt in his friend's face, but it's there.

“There’s a guy in our degree, I think you know him,” Hyunbin explains, and then he glances at Daniel and bites his lower lip in doubt, “Jonghyun?”

Seongwoo's expression remains the samme, but luckily for him Hyunbin isn't watching him. For some reason, all his concern is on Daniel, thus he's the one that nods and confirms, “Yeah.”

“Actually, Minhyun introduced us,” Hyunbin continues, and all of a sudden everything makes sense. He's afraid Daniel is going to resent him for hanging out with Minhyun's acquaintances, as though he's a bad friend for not taking sides. “He was pretty shy at first but we’ve been talking for a while, and we have gone out together a couple of times. I didn’t want to say anything because… I don’t know why.”

By the time he has finished his explanation, Seongwoo manages to draw a neutral expression, even if Daniel can still read through the cracks, catches how his eyebrows are still slightly furrowed, his lips turning purple from being pressed against each other.

Daniel is aware that Seongwoo isn't going to support Hyunbin, and the wheels must be turning in his head to come up with something to criticize about Jonghyun. Yet Hyunbin still needs to be told that he's not on a bad path, and Daniel takes pity on him.

“It’s fine, Hyunbin,” he comforts him, doing his best at ignoring the glare Seongwoo shoots him. “We do know Jonghyun. He’s a nice boy, good grades, and if you’re worried because he’s friends with Minhyun, don’t be.”

Hyunbin opens and closes his mouth several times, speechless, until he croaks out, “You don’t mind?”

“I’m on good terms with Minhyun, I've already told you,” Daniel affirms, shrugging. It's not the complete truth, because even if Daniel doesn't harbor any sick feelings towards him, he's certain Minhyun has a few comments to throw at him. Nothing that Daniel can't deal with, but still. “As long as you don't bring him home and allow him to remind me what a terrible boyfriend I was.”

After that, Hyunbin is even capable of smiling at him in gratitude. But then the worst happens: Hyunbin turns his head to Seongwoo, whose eyes show that he’s torn between planning Daniel's murder or Jonghyun's downfall.

“What do you think about Jonghyun?” he asks, both curious and oblivious.

During a few seconds, Seongwoo doesn't move, except because he scrunches his nose and grips his chopsticks until his knuckles turn white.

“What do I think about Jonghyun?” he repeats, incredulous. Daniel releases a mortified laugh, an attempt to interrupt the conversation and stop Seongwoo, but it's too late. Seongwoo can't seize his warning, too overwhelmed by the bad news, and sputters, “He's a fucking idiot. But I didn't expect better from you, to be honest, so there's that.”

 

 

 

 

“He’s dating Jonghyun," Seongwoo cries out, choking a sob against Daniel's chest. “Kim fucking Jonghyun. How am I supposed to compete?”

This is the first time in four years that Daniel has seen Seongwoo's tears, at least sober tears, though it's just a figurative way to call them. His eyes are watery and riveted with red, but there hasn't been much actual crying, and all of it has landed on Daniel's t-shirt.

As soon as they arrived home, Hyunbin slammed the door of his bedroom close, which was fair enough given that Seongwoo insulted him and stormed out of the restaurant without paying. But Seongwoo, as usual, isn't much more mature than either of them, so his escape goat has been dragging his ass to Daniel's bedroom and pull him into bed, to use him as a pillow while he laments.

“First, they’re not dating. Second, dude, this isn’t a competition and Hyunbin isn’t a prize,” Daniel points out, but he pats Seongwoo's head against his chest. His ungrateful friend, however, pinches the flesh of his back for not agreeing with him. “Also, I know you’re upset right now and I shouldn’t tell you that I warned you but… I warned you. You should have confessed earlier.”

Seongwoo groans so loud that, if Hyunbin didn't hear all the previous whining, he definitely heard that groan.

“Thanks for being useless, Daniel,” he moans, drawing away from him and rolling over the bed. He covers his eyes as though he's ashamed of crying and hasn't spent the last thirty minutes wailing on Daniel, and then pouts, “I’m never going to confess now.”

Daniel gives him a thumbs up, “Yes, bottle it up, that’s the healthy way.”

In response, Seongwoo kicks him in the shin, which doesn't have any effect given that they're barefoot. Seongwoo's fingers simply bend upwards, and the lack of reaction from Daniel doesn't improve his mood.

“I hope Jihoon ends up dating Euiwoong and you die.”

“Can you stop being mean for five minutes?” Daniel protests, though he's not offended. He's used to deal with Seongwoo's rudeness when he's sulking, and it's clear he doesn't believe his own words. Hyunbin ignores that, however, and that’s why they have gotten into this mess: according to him, Seongwoo shouldn’t mind or meddle in his relationships. “If you weren’t this mean, Hyunbin wouldn’t be mad at you.”

"Too late for that, let me be a bitch," Seongwoo claims, and peeks at him through his fingers. "And I'm sleeping in your bed tonight."

Daniel should throw him out because he’s a grown adult and has to deal with the consequences of his actions, yet he might run into Hyunbin in the hall and worsen the situation. The downside is that whatever happens between them, it will affect Daniel too, and he’s not going to take so many risks.

“Why Euiwoong?” Daniel says after pondering for a while.

Much to Daniel’s surprise, Seongwoo lets out a short snicker, “Because he’s smart as fuck and way more handsome than you. And I bet he can console heartbroken people.”

“I’m going to strangle you in your sleep, Ong.”

“Please, do.”

 

 

 

 

Neither Hyunbin or Seongwoo solve their problems during the weekend, which is a pain in the ass. There is a mild attempt, propelled by Daniel’s insistence, but when Seongwoo apologizes, he says, "I'm sorry I insulted you. But Jonghyun is still an idiot, and there is nothing I can do about that."

So by the time Monday comes around, Daniel finds himself babying his two friends, taking turns to eat with them between classes, and eventually leaving one of them alone. At some point, he manages to escape both of them and their whining, and hides in the cafeteria among a group of juniors that send him odd looks when he invades their table.

Given that the three of them are usually attached at the hip, Daniel is unfazed when at midday, Woojin approaches him with clear confusion, glancing around just to find no trace of Hyunbin or Seongwoo.

"Did one of them kill the other's mother?" he asks, seating himself on one of the few free chairs.

"Don't be an ass. They fought for real over the guy Hyunbin is having dates with," Daniel enlightens him. Right away, Woojin looks incredibly uninterested, as if he has expected that the drama was about something more extreme. "Who fights over dudes nowadays? It's the 21st century."

"I would if the dude was Nam Joohyuk," Woojin admits, and Daniel covers his mouth dramatically, successfully embarrassing him. "Shut up."

Daniel falls silent again, with a contented smirk, while Woojin gets up to go buy food. He comes back with a tray full of fries, not a real meal, and only shrugs upon noticing the reproach in Daniel's face.

"I'm stressed," he excuses himself.

"You're a freshman, you're not allowed to be stressed," Daniel shoots at him, and takes advantage of Woojin's momentary guilt to pull out a couple of fries. "Anyway, where is Jihoon? Doesn't he have a free period now?"

Mouth full of fries, Woojin sends him a suspicious look, "How do you know that? And why are you asking?"

At first, Daniel's mind becomes blank. It's obvious that Woojin is unaware of what Jihoon and Daniel are doing, _whatever_ that is. Daniel has a slight grasp of Jihoon's schedule thanks to his texts, and he remembers Jihoon told him he wouldn't have any lessons at this time. But explaining that is going to lead Woojin to ask more questions, judging the way he's already scrutinizing Daniel's face.

However, before he can come up with a lie, Jihoon enters the cafeteria, arm entangled with Euiwoong's, and Daniel can almost hear Seongwoo's words from days ago playing in his head. Daniel isn't a jealous person, anyhow, and there is no use in worrying about Euiwoong when Jihoon might have not even realized that Daniel is interested in him. Yet it's still scary how Seongwoo has the ability to make all his nightmares become reality.

Euiwoong and Jihoon walk up straight to their table without hesitation, and as they exchange greetings and Woojin bickers with Euiwoong after ten seconds of conversation, Daniel realizes he's a senior, hiding from other seniors, and hanging out with freshmen. Talk about maturing.

They all attack Woojin's fries despite his protests, and right when Daniel thinks he has escaped Woojin's suspicions unscathed, Jihoon gazes at him and spoils his good luck.

"Hyung," he calls, wiping the grease off his hands with a napkin. Jihoon innocently smiles at him, all cheeks and teeth, and Daniel can't resist returning the gesture. "Can we Netflix and Chill this weekend too?"

Unfortunately, Woojin has chosen that exact moment to drink, and therefore he spits water all over the table like a cascade. On the contrary, Jihoon just startles, puzzled at his cousin's reaction, but Daniel is sure Euiwoong has established a new record when it comes to how much a person can open their mouth.

It’s understandable. Euiwoong and Woojin aren’t as naïve as Jihoon, thus what they have heard is _can we fuck this weekend too_? It’s usually difficult for Daniel to be ashamed, but in this situation, with his upcoming death materializing, the heat extends even to his ears.

“What,” Woojin grumbles, and it’s not a question. “What the fuck did you just say?”

Daniel is certain: Woojin is going to kill him. Jihoon doesn’t understand what’s happening, a fact that reflects perfectly on his face, so Woojin winds up swinging to glare at Daniel instead. Meanwhile, Euiwoong rolls his eyes, aggravated, and mutters something that sounds like _irksome_ before using the napkins to dry the spilled water.

“We watched a movie!” Daniel hurries up to clarify. “Just a movie! He fell asleep, I woke him up and he went home.”

To support him, Jihoon nods with excessive energy. “Yeah, what’s so weird about it?”

“You’re _lying_ ,” Woojin insists, disregarding Jihoon’s words, fixed on discovering the truth in Daniel’s pupils.

At such neglect, Jihoon frowns at his cousin; it’s the first time Daniel has caught a glimpse of Jihoon being annoyed, and it’s somehow fascinating. Jihoon looks at Woojin in a way that only relatives can, as if this is the thousandth time Woojin has been exasperating today. He folds his arms over his chest and questions, “Why would he lie?”

Woojin scoffs, incredulous, “Well, obviously because-”

“We watched a movie, Woojin!” Daniel cuts him off, conscious that his friend is about to spill something compromising. Something that would reveal that Daniel’s intention was to get into Jihoon’s pants. That’s the reason why Daniel just sputters the first words that come to his mind, too scared of getting his secrets exposed, “That’s all. Stop being paranoid, Jihoon is older than you and he can take care of himself.”

“Yes,” Jihoon agrees after a silence of admiration, and points at Daniel with the fry he was about to chew. “Yes. Exactly that.”

Defeated, Woojin grunts, though the fact that Euiwoong has thrown an arm around his shoulders might have something to do with how fast he gives in. It’s also a subtle way of telling him to help to dry the mess he has caused, and Daniel couldn’t be more relieved that Euiwoong is distracting him. However, he’s not that relieved when he finds Jihoon staring at him, head tilted to the side as though, out of the blue, he has detected that Daniel is being dishonest.

 

 

 

 

Daniel reckons that if he has survived and Woojin hasn’t butchered him, he can face his other fears. His two main fears right now are: one, blacking out before an exam and waking up at the hospital; two, Jihoon laughing at him for supposing he could have a shot at dating him. Daniel should get rid of his complexes, especially that one that whispers that he can’t aspire to be with someone _that_ pretty, or the one that whispers that _everyone_ is more attractive than him.

Hyunbin almost recited word by word how he had to clear out all the misunderstandings with Jihoon, and for once, Daniel has made the effort of memorizing it. Thus, when Jihoon announces he’s leaving for his next class, Daniel stands up awkwardly to accompany him. There is no need for his friends to make fun of him, because Daniel is already aware of how ridiculous is to walk Jihoon to class. But sitting back down would be even more uncomfortable, so Daniel sucks it up and convinces himself by staring at Jihoon’s satisfied smile.

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that Daniel is fidgeting like a kid waiting for candy, and Jihoon is anything but dumb. They have barely exited the cafeteria when Jihoon stops in his tracks and glances up at him, curiosity sparkling in his eyes, “What’s up?”

Daniel feels himself becoming tongue-tied as soon as he opens his mouth. It’s quite evident, but Jihoon just waits for him to organize his thoughts, feigning that he hasn’t noticed that Daniel is being absurd.

Breathing in, Daniel blabbers, “I wanted to tell you that when I invited you over, I meant it as in a date?”

Daniel has expected a broad repertoire of reactions, especially because of thoughts induced by anxiety, but he would have never predicted silence. And it’s a silence he doesn’t know how to interpret, because Jihoon is still like a statue, slowly blinking at him. No wonder Daniel has the urge to vomit, because damn it, Jihoon is going to reject him. Who dates seniors, anyway? They’re too busy to start a relationship in the middle of a term. He shouldn’t have followed Hyunbin’s advice, because even if he’s the best at relationships among them, that doesn’t mean he’s _good_.

“I know,” Jihoon whispers in the end, expressionless.

Daniel nearly bites his own tongue in shock, “You know?”

Instead of reassuring him, Jihoon draws a shy smile, breaking the eye contact while Daniel gapes at him.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep though,” he apologizes, and then he nervously fixes his own hair, a gesture that is meant to cover his eyes. Daniel is polite enough to not comment on it, given that he’s dying inside from embarrassment too. “I barely slept the night before because I was nervous about it… No. I didn’t say that.”

Fire invades Daniel, head spinning, but Jihoon is too troubled for what he has just confessed to pay attention to Daniel’s state. Jihoon might have been unaware of what Netflix and Chill meant, but he knew Daniel’s feelings. And accepted. Daniel has no idea why Jihoon would go out with him, but he wants to.

“I’m busy this weekend,” Daniel stutters, remembering the proposal Jihoon made earlier, and Jihoon gazes at him like Daniel has just killed his pets, pupils blown. Overwhelmed, Daniel rushes to explain, “But the week after, one of my best friends is celebrating his birthday. You should come.”

It’s impossible for Jihoon to conceal his astonishment, “Your friend’s birthday?”

Too late, Daniel realizes how that sounds: like he intends to introduce him to his closest friends, the ones who aren’t at university with them. It’s _serious_ if he suggests it this way, while they are alone, and he should have done it in front of their friends.

“Everyone is coming,” Daniel laughs uneasily, rubbing his neck. He hasn’t actually asked if they’re attending the party, but the lie seems to calm Jihoon down, so Daniel now will have to convince his friends to join them. “Woojin, Seongwoo, Hyunbin… no one will find weird that you’re there too.”

Jihoon must have believed that story, because he flashes a radiant grin at him and coyly mutters, “Thank you, hyung.” And then, after licking his lips, he adds, “But we should have another date too, just you and me. I mean, if you want to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapters are gradually getting longer, please someone save me


	4. Chapter 4

Jisung is pissed.

This is Daniel’s fault, however, because he should have been watching Seongwoo’s moves. It’s not a secret that Seongwoo becomes an asshole when he’s going through hard times, and the argument with Hyunbin has disturbed him more than usual. As a way to release his anxiety, Seongwoo dropped some hints for Jisung to suspect that Daniel was seeing someone. Hints that Jisung didn’t understand. In the end, Seongwoo resumed his antics by directly revealing that Daniel was chasing after a freshman, and that before their first date, he had been gushing about Jihoon for two months

Daniel would kill him, but after receiving an incensed call from Jisung, he arrives home just to discover a very upset Seongwoo. And yes, he means to snap at Seongwoo, but there aren’t puppy eyes more powerful than Seongwoo’s, and Daniel is defeated even before starting to fight. He does get angry when he finds out that Seongwoo has devoured all his ice-cream, though.

“You invited him to Taewoong’s birthday anyway,” Seongwoo reasons, which isn’t a valid defense, since he messed around with the news before the invitation.

“Yes, as a friend,” Daniel huffs, landing on the couch. Seongwoo immediately latches onto him, whining, and Daniel needs to at least to roll his eyes to put up with such behavior. “Not as the guy I’m trying to- Nevermind, I don’t even know what I am doing anymore.”

Seongwoo sighs, resigned, “You’re smitten with him. He’s smitten with you. Why don’t I have this sort of luck?”

“Jihoon isn’t smitten with me,” Daniel scoffs, and Seongwoo sends him a look of disbelief. “I tried to kiss him, remember? And he basically pulled away.”

“Sure.” Seongwoo limits himself to a shrug, as though discussing the obvious would be a waste of time. “Though knowing you, you probably went for the kiss at the wrong time.”

Daniel has the urge to deny it, but then he mulls over it and realizes that it’s true. He went for a kiss because he was shit scared, while Jihoon was pretty much enjoying the movie. Definitely not on the same wavelength.

 

 

 

 

There are two things that Jisung is demanding from him, and only one of them isn’t over the top. First of all, he asks for Jihoon’s phone number, which Daniel isn’t disposed to provide — Jisung would need five minutes for Jihoon to believe that Daniel is broken inside and that if he doesn’t worship his ass and convinces him that he’s the most handsome, smartest boy that has ever been born, Jisung will exterminate him. Second, he requests pictures, and that’s when Daniel screws up, because he decides to send him Jihoon’s Instagram.

He’s so familiar with the sort of pictures that Jihoon uploads that he has become immune to them, and therefore processes them like they’re ordinary pictures — except because Jihoon is pretty and he likes him a bit too much, but that’s another topic. Daniel doesn’t remember that Jihoon’s Instagram could be deemed odd until he receives a message that shatters his delusion.

 

_01.46 p.m._

_From: Jisung hyung_

???????????

how old is he, I’m calling his parents right now

 

“He’s five years old,” Jisung concludes hours later, glowering at him as soon as Daniel is close enough. “Kang Daniel, you can’t date someone who attends kindergarten.”

Daniel is used to receive reprimands from Jisung, but he thought he would be more lenient today, or maybe that he would be more worried about other problems. To begin with, the main reason they decided to meet at a mall was because none of them had bought a present for Taewoong yet. Which isn’t a big concern for Daniel, since he has given Taewoong the worst gifts possible throughout the years, but it should be for Jisung. Although they refuse to admit it out loud, or to even admit it to themselves, Daniel knows they aren’t friends exclusively anymore. Jinwoo can vouch for that with all the suffering that sharing a house with them inflicts.

“It’s just that he wears these…. He’s not that young!” Daniel cries out, intimidated by the judgmental stare Jisung is granting him. Then he mutters under his breath, “He’s a bit weird. And cute.”

Much to his surprise, Jisung doesn’t even last a second before cackling. “I didn’t know you were into puppy play.”

Almost nothing has the power to make Daniel blush, but this is embarrassing enough for him to flush red to his ears. At least half of Jihoon’s pictures involve either dog or cat’s fake ears on his head, and he has a huge liking for certain filters related to animals. Daniel acknowledges that it’s not the most mature preference, but he’s not going to pretend he’s better than Jihoon when he still collects stuffed bears, to the point Seongwoo had to ban him from buying more.

“Promise me you aren’t going to mention anything about this during the birthday,” Daniel tells him, trying to replace his shame with seriousness. “Jisung, he’s-”

Jisung narrows his eyes and interrupts, “How the fuck are you already this whipped? This is dangerous.” Before Daniel can contradict him, Jisung drags him into a store with prices that they can’t afford, though Jisung looks pretty determined to spend his whole monthly salary on Taewoong. “Don’t make that face. I will behave if the boy is good. If he’s not, I’ll kick his ass.”

That’s not a relief, even if Jihoon is nothing but an angel — or that's Daniel's theory. “You can’t fight a five-year-old,” Daniel points out, trailing behind Jisung like a kid after his parents. Jisung is already preoccupied with finding nice clothes for Taewoong, but he cares enough to raise his eyebrows at Daniel, challenging. “I’m friends with a monster.”

During the rest of the afternoon, Jisung lets out a few jabs at Daniel, but nothing too serious that would raise concerns. He regrets having invited Jihoon to Taewoong's birthday, anyhow, because this only proves he's horrible at keeping people safe. No one would have believed that pushing Jihoon into such an unstable environment was a good idea. Except Daniel.

 

 

 

 

Cohabiting with two persons that avoid each other like their lives depend on it isn't exactly _hard_ : it's a torture. Within a few days, Daniel is exhausted from dealing with Hyunbin and Seongwoo, especially because their problems pool in the kitchen. Daniel has to fix dinner for both of them separately, since they run away from the kitchen if the other is around. The cook of the house has always been Hyunbin, but he's too hurt to do anything for Seongwoo, and anyway Seongwoo is petty enough to reject any meal made by him.

Daniel needs to remind them why they're friends - or in Seongwoo's case, why it should be important to preserve their friendship, regardless of who Hyunbin dates.

“Why can't you apologize, even if it's not a sincere apology?” Daniel suggests one night, when Seongwoo invades his room and falls flat face on his bed. He has brought a few textbooks with him, which means he's going to bother Daniel with tons of questions about their assignments, but Daniel prefers to have Seongwoo here than outside causing chaos.

“Look, I want to apologize, but do you know what the real problem is?” Seongwoo shoots back, distractedly opening a textbook and scanning the first pages. “If I give Jonghyun a pass, or I tell him that I approve of them, Hyunbin will think that it's okay to bring him home.”

Taking into account that Daniel hasn't come up with that possibility before, he stares at Seongwoo with his mouth open, suddenly understanding.

“Yeah,” Seongwoo says, no need for Daniel to verbalize his thoughts. “We might be on bad terms right now, but that's not the worst scenario. If Jonghyun sets foot in _my_ house, I'm going to drown myself in the toilet.”

Being sensitive, Daniel doesn't refute his logic, and allows him to release all his frustration while they study until ungodly hours. Seongwoo falls asleep over one of his textbooks, and Daniel is too lazy to move him to his bedroom, so he just shoves him to have space to sleep. It is then, while he's listening to Seongwoo's snoring, that he realizes that there is a way to lead Hyunbin and Seongwoo to make up, without any apologies involved.

 

 

 

 

Perhaps recruiting Woojin to help is a mistake, yet Daniel can't say he's disappointed when Woojin doesn't show up alone. Since it's Friday, freshmen should have interesting plans that don’t imply burying themselves in desperation and resorting to seniors, but apparently Euiwoong and Jihoon prefer to follow Daniel.

"I love karaoke!" Euiwoong announces when Daniel opens the door for them.

It's still way too early, and Daniel hasn't even showered, thus he's dumbfounded for several seconds until Euiwoong steps in without permission. It's then that he can spot Woojin and Jihoon behind him, and his heart might or might not halt in a very mortifying way when Jihoon beams at him. Daniel is so focused that he doesn't even greet Woojin, for which he elbows Daniel in the ribs when he passes by. Jihoon shamelessly laughs at them, but there isn't any intention of mocking him, and Daniel even would swear there’s a hint of satisfaction in his face.

"So what's your master plan, genius?" Woojin asks once inside, unimpressed.

Since their victims are at home, Daniel lowers his voice and hisses, "Just get Hyunbin out of his room first, and convince him to drink if necessary."

"Get him drunk, got it," Euiwoong confirms, and Woojin makes a sound that sounds like a choked laugh, which doesn't inspire much trust. Daniel doesn’t have other friends to do this, though, so he sucks it up.

Ignoring the fact that leaving Hyunbin with them may not be the best idea, Daniel continues, "I'll bring Seongwoo to the karaoke later, so that they won't able to escape."

While Euiwoong and Jihoon nod at the orders, Woojin just rolls his eyes and walks past him, heading straight to Hyunbin's room. Daniel wastes no time himself, and hurries up to hide in his room, given that Hyunbin could question why Daniel isn't coming along. However, right away he catches the sound of steps following him, and spins around to tell whoever it is to stick to the plans. But it just happens to be Jihoon, who bumps into his chest, not able to stop in time, and draws away with a disconcerted expression.

"What are you doing?" Daniel asks in astonishment.

Jihoon is equally confused as he replies, "Staying with you and Seongwoo?"

There are two options: explaining Jihoon everything again, or merely playing along. For personals reasons, Daniel is more interested in the second one, even though convincing Seongwoo to go out with them, seemingly as a third wheel, will be complicated. However, destiny decides for him, because Woojin is verbally forcing Hyunbin out of his room in that instant: if Hyunbin realizes Daniel is still at home and not joining them, he will suspect that they are up to something. In a rush, Daniel grabs Jihoon by the wrist and hauls him into his room, closing the door as silently as he can.

It isn’t until he’s inside that he becomes aware the situation: he didn’t manage to get Jihoon into his room during the _date_ , but he has now, and Jihoon looks like a lost child in the woods. To be honest, Daniel hasn’t cleaned up his room recently, bed undone and tons of notes scattered on the desk; the only relief is that there isn’t anything _dirty_ in sight, like socks or underwear. Otherwise Daniel would throw himself out of the window in that exact moment.

Daniel runs to clear out his chair so that Jihoon can sit, but watching him in distress, Jihoon just giggles, “It’s fine. I’ve seen worse.” Then he accommodates on the bed instead, making space for himself by pushing Seongwoo’s textbooks away, and displays a terrific grin, “You could blame it to how busy you are with your studies.”

Daniel’s legs weaken, probably because that smile is too much for him to deal with, so he plops down on the chair. “I’m so busy studying,” he jokingly repeats after Jihoon, exaggerating, which only serves to feign he’s not _troubled_.

“I’m going to need to see your grades later, then,” Jihoon says, a spark of mischievousness in his eyes. “Can’t let you lie so easily, hyung.”

For a second, Daniel is petrified, observing Jihoon’s face because... Jihoon is flirting with him, isn’t he? Just innocent teasing, but it’s _there_ , and Daniel isn’t having hallucinations. The mere chance leaves him speechless, which isn’t a problem because Hyunbin, Woojin and Euiwoong can be heard behind the door, and both of them have to be silent to not be discovered.

After ten minutes, Woojin and Euiwoong manage to leave with Hyunbin, even if he protests all the way out. These are ten minutes during which Daniel suffers beyond imagination, since Jihoon sweetly smiles at him in silence, stretches on his bed for a while, and then he stands up to nose around the room.

“Why are we going to the karaoke?” he unnecessarily whispers, playing with one of Daniel’s stuffed toys. He waves it at him, as to show that he finds it funny, and Daniel has to restrain himself to not coyly push him away.

“It has emotional value for them,” Daniel answers. “When we befriended Hyunbin, we went there every weekend, and that’s how we became close with him. It’s also where Seongwoo asked him to move in with us if he wanted to get out from the uni dorms.”

Jihoon whistles, impressed. “That’s a lot. I thought they were dating when I first met them, you know?”

“It happens,” Daniel shrugs, but then his brain analyzes what Jihoon has said, and he frowns at a spot behind Jihoon, confused. “Don’t you like singing? Or you just can’t?

As he places the stuffed toy back in the shelf, Jihoon laughs brazenly and assures, “I can when I’m drunk.”

It’s a knee-jerk reaction: Daniel slaps the back of his thigh, scandalized, just like he would have done to Woojin if he had caught him drinking or smoking — or doing anything that Daniel considers improper for his age. Jihoon twirls in shock, rubbing his thigh as if he can’t believe that Daniel has hit him; to be fair, Daniel is quite alarmed at himself as well, and Jihoon’s evident, flustered expression doesn’t help.

“You can’t drink yet,” Daniel chides with false composure. “And I’m not letting you drink tonight.”

The response isn’t immediate, which Daniel is thankful for, since he’s almost as disconcerted as Jihoon. However, when Jihoon recovers from the shock, he’s bugged enough to talk back.

“Hyung, don’t be a party pooper,” he accuses, and nudges Daniel’s shoulder as a small revenge. Still, he has the decency to look a bit demure as he mutters, “I’ve already drunk before, you aren’t protecting me from anything.”

Daniel is aware that he's being ridiculous, once again, but admitting so would just give Jihoon a dangerous advantage. “Who says I’m protecting you? Maybe I’m protecting the rest from you.”

Incredulous, Jihoon clicks his tongue, “What does that even mean? I'm completely harmless.”

If he was harmless, Daniel wouldn't feel his blood rush to his ears every time he's around, or he wouldn't allow his friends to make fun of him because he's crushing on him. Harmless would mean that Daniel wouldn't prefer to ditch tonight's plans and spend his time with Jihoon here, but he does: Jihoon is beyond fatal, and Daniel doesn't want to imagine his drunk version. Whatever that version is, Daniel is certain that it will affect him in unhealthy ways.

Having no comeback for Jihoon's answer, Daniel is rescued by a text from Euiwoong informing that they arrived at the karaoke ten minutes ago. Also, Euiwoong tells him that this is the last time they're following his plans, because Hyunbin started crying as soon as they stepped in the karaoke room, bawling his eyes out about Seongwoo.

"That isn't so bad, I guess?" Jihoon comments, hovering over him to take a peek at the screen. "At least he cares about Seongwoo enough to cry."

Daniel contemplates if Jihoon is joking or not, but judging how his lips are pressed in a line, he's not. "You're not good at comforting people, right?" Daniel teases, and his stomach drops when Jihoon pouts at him, as though Daniel has just touched a nerve.

It's really, really cute. And Daniel is fucked.

 

 

 

 

Despite how much of a mess Seongwoo is, he's the brightest one among them, which is a negative characteristic in times like these, with Daniel attempting to drag him into a trap. Therefore, Daniel isn't surprised when Seongwoo questions their intentions, and asks a thousand times why Jihoon is tagging along if it's one of _their_ nights. They have never shared their karaoke nights with anyone else, so it makes sense. Rather than offended, Jihoon is doing his best at not bursting into laughter, and Daniel has to distract Seongwoo several times so that he doesn't catch Jihoon snickering.

At least he learns a new fact about Jihoon: he has zero talent to lie, and revealing any secret to him is probably the fastest way to spread it. Given the circumstances, the walk to the karaoke is infernal, and Daniel swears that he's doing enough good deeds in this life to have a wonderful next life.

"I don't feel like singing," Seongwoo announces in the end, but he doesn't have enough strength to fight against Daniel's grip. "Unless it's a sad song about how much I want to die."

After pushing the door open, Daniel realizes they're not entering the ideal scenario. Euiwoong is currently singing alone, if you can call singing to rapping and screaming a ballad; he's also standing on the couch, shoes off, and Daniel has never seen him being so passionate about anything. In contrast, Hyunbin still has red eyes and a tissue in his hands, and Woojin has an arm around his frame, though he's pretty much ignoring his misery. Perhaps Daniel should have accompanied Hyunbin, for he’s the most vulnerable one, but it's too late to have any regrets.

Their entrance isn't well received by Hyunbin, who looks like all the blood has been drained from his body once his stare falls on Seongwoo. Seongwoo isn't that content himself, yet his strategy is to avoid Hyunbin's eyes and redirect his sudden fright and anger towards Daniel.

"You've just ruined our four years of friendship," Seongwoo threatens, a meaningless warning that Daniel would believe if Seongwoo wasn't holding onto his arm out of the blue, silently pleading to not leave him.

"Great," Jihoon pipes behind them, and before running to snatch Euiwoong's position, he draws a pleased grin and mocks, "I can have all of him for myself, from now on."

Seongwoo would have to be an asshole to leave, and well, he is, but he must have filled that quota for the rest of the year, because he doesn't object anymore. He keeps the distance with Hyunbin, though, and Daniel doesn't force the situation, because the best way to get them to sort out their problems is by giving them alcohol.

Much to his disappointment, Woojin and Euiwoong have already been drinking — which explains Euiwoong's strange behaviour — and Jihoon jumps into it right after, glancing at Daniel as to remind him of their conversation. It's clear that Hyunbin is a bit tipsy too, for he's staring at Seongwoo openly, instead of pretending he doesn't care about him as usual.

"You're going to stay sober," Jihoon points out, approaching Daniel after convincing Euiwoong to sing another ballad. "Are you trying to fool me? I've heard stories about you, hyung."

"You're not funny," Daniel replies, but then Jihoon smiles at him and he falls into his net, laughter bubbling out from his mouth. "Who is going to take care of you and these idiots, then?"

Jihoon nods to appease him, and takes a long shot of whatever Woojin has handed him. Daniel simply hopes that no one pukes on him, because he might have appointed himself as the responsible one, but he's not going to clean puke. Unless Jihoon asks him to. He can't say no to someone as pretty as Jihoon.

"Sing with me," Jihoon prods Daniel after a few songs, pulling Euiwoong back so that he doesn't hog the microphone. He and Woojin bicker for a while, until Woojin convinces Euiwoong to calm down and rest ; he only listens half of what Woojin is telling him, and instead goes straight to Seongwoo to bother him.

Daniel allows Jihoon to choose the song, which turns out to be the most embarrassing song he runs into. It's an old song that Daniel doesn't know, but Jihoon shouts every single word of it and dances with Euiwoong to some parts. It's the type of song that they would perform only while being drunk, and Daniel winds up laughing on the couch, with Hyunbin sinking his face in his arm to muffle his laughter as well.

The good part about being sober is that he's the only one who is going to have vivid memories of tonight, because although Seongwoo isn't drunk, he's out of it, distracted with observing Hyunbin. Daniel does his best to ignore them, as a way to give them intimacy, and watches how the younger ones perform song after song. At some point he's entertained enough, and before he can process what has happened, Hyunbin and Seongwoo are sitting together on the edge of the couch, so close that his thighs are pressed against each other. If Daniel's eyes aren't failing him, Hyunbin is crying again, and Seongwoo is handling the moment of panic in a decent way, providing him with more tissues to dry his tears.

"Daniel!" Woojin screams at him over the music.

He stumbles forward, but Daniel holds him in time, and Euiwoong laughs hard and loud, too close to the microphone. Wincing at the drilling sound, Daniel allows Woojin to drap himself over him, which shows that harassing Daniel was his only aim.

"We should leave," Daniel sighs, resigned. Woojin shakes his head in which seems agreement, though it's hard to tell while he's squished against Daniel. "Euiwoong, leave the damn microphone in peace."

While Euiwoong puts a fight for a few minutes, Jihoon obediently picks up their belongings one by one. Daniel would trust Jihoon, except because he trips over his own feet and sways to his sides, unstable, and not even Euiwoong is in such a bad state. Jihoon is just better at pretending, until he stands up and spoils his façade.

Before abandoning Seongwoo and Hyunbin at the karaoke, Euiwoong insists in choosing a romantic song for them and then sprints out of the room, cackling. That's how Daniel finds himself with three freshmen in the streets, ushering them to his home because he's too afraid to let them go separate ways. They are quite docile, however, not considering Euiwoong’s tendency to engage in small talks with whoever they cross paths with.

They are about to reach his street when Jihoon decides to slip his hand into Daniel's; the gesture isn't out of the ordinary for him, peaceful expression, but Daniel almost runs into a lamppost. Jihoon isn't so bold, Daniel knows that much, and the boy is going to regret this tomorrow. Yet holding hands is inoffensive. Besides, Daniel isn't strong enough to reject him, because Jihoon's hand is small and soft in his, and Daniel appreciates the warmth. And this way he can make sure that he doesn't lose Jihoon before arriving home.

"Where am I going to sleep?" Woojin asks as Daniel fumbles with the keys. Euiwoong is still humming one of the songs from the karaoke, and Jihoon refuses to let go of Daniel's hand, which makes finding the keys harder. "I'm not sharing a bed with Jihoon, he kicks me in his sleep."

"I'm sleeping with Daniel," Jihoon announces, staring at his cousin as if he has gone stupid.

That affirmation doesn't leave Daniel indifferent, but there's no use in arguing with intoxicated people. Nevertheless, Woojin furrows his eyebrows at both of them, censuring, "You aren't, you are taking the couch.”

The four of them storm into the house, and Daniel sends them to the kitchen to eat something before sleeping. After an accident in the kitchen with eggs involved, he guides Euiwoong and Woojin to Seongwoo and Hyunbin's rooms respectively, not minding that his friends will have to deal with the boys later, and then strides back to the kitchen to get Jihoon.

"Hyung," Jihoon greets him again, smile so wide that he looks like he hasn't seen Daniel in years. "I have something to tell you."

A knot grows in Daniel's stomach, but he shoves away Jihoon's words from his mind and surrounds his waist with an arm to secure him. Jihoon's balance has improved after a while, yet he’s unsteady enough for Daniel to hold him all the way to his bedroom.

"I don't think you should," Daniel concludes in a low voice, wishing Jihoon has already forgotten. "Whatever it is, it can wait."

It's evident Jihoon is too drunk to throw an argument back at him, mumbling incoherent words instead. He falls on the bed, limbs extended and cracking up without a reason, and Daniel swears within he's not going to babysit any freshman ever again.

"You have to know, it's really important," Jihoon perseveres, pointing his index finger at him — or at the wall behind Daniel, to be precise. "It's about me."

Daniel shushes him off, more concerned about removing Jihoon's shoes and socks than about his nonsense. Jihoon finds that very funny, however, and nearly kicks him in the face while claiming Daniel is tickling him. At this point, Daniel should be annoyed, according to his past experiences, but Jihoon is too cute for him to feel anything but resignation.

"I have dated a lot of girls," Jihoon blurts out all of sudden, eyes half closed. Daniel halts for a moment, one of Jihoon's socks in his hands, and then Jihoon confesses, "But I have never dated a boy."

That's a Secret with capital S, and Daniel can only fall silent.

He assumed Jihoon was familiarized with his own sexuality, but this discovery hints that he isn't, at least with part of it. It's scary, because that means that all the experience Jihoon has with boys is _one date_ with Daniel, and he had no idea of what was going in Daniel's head during the date. On the contrary, Daniel has fooled around more than it should be allowed, and he knows how it's like to be the _first_ for someone. He remembers how captivated he was with the first guy he dated, too, and he isn't ready to receive such affection; a subtle voice in his head whispers that he doesn't even deserve Jihoon, and even though it’s his insecurity talking, that's terribly true.

Daniel is a disaster at relationships, and he's going to fuck up Jihoon's views on men.

"Also, hyung," Jihoon continues, but when Daniel gazes at him, he has already closed his eyes, curling up and hugging Daniel’s pillow. "You're so hot."

By the time Daniel comes up with an answer, Jihoon has drifted off to sleep. Daniel is beyond grateful as he escapes to the couch, far away from dangerous, pretty boys that love invading his bed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was super long and I don't even know what I wrote because it's 4am. Also I'm trying to write more about Jihoon but :) he resists :)


	5. Chapter 5

Someone shakes Daniel awake just a couple of hours after he has landed on the couch. It’s Seongwoo, claiming that their beds are occupied and they aren’t going to sleep with the kids. Being the one at fault, Daniel is too disoriented to make up an excuse, and agrees without fighting. After giving up the couch for Hyunbin and Seongwoo, he decides to share a bed with Woojin, because there’s no way his heart will survive sleeping with Jihoon. Not the best of his decisions, since Woojin gets up in the middle of the night and pukes in the bathroom, and then whines for twenty minutes straight about it until Daniel manages to shut him up.

It’s not surprising that in the morning, the only ones suffering a hangover are Euiwoong and Woojin. Daniel is pretty impressed by how fine Jihoon looks, apart from the dark circles and the fact that he yawns every ten seconds, and has a great appetite. On the other hand, Woojin vomits his breakfast as soon as he has finished it.

“He’s a sensitive boy,” Jihoon informs as Woojin runs all the way to the bathroom, Euiwoong cackling with his mouth full. “He vomits when he eats too much candy too.”

“Good to know,” Daniel responds, absent-minded.

There are a few reasons why he isn’t paying Jihoon much attention, and that’s so unusual that Daniel feels Jihoon’s drilling eyes on him, almost reproaching. To begin with, Daniel needs time to arrange his own thoughts before deciding where he and Jihoon are going, and if he really wants to get into a relationship with someone that has never been with a boy. The problem isn’t being Jihoon’s first, the problem is that Daniel fears being an experiment and getting thrown away later, if Jihoon realizes that dating boys isn’t what he prefers. Plus, Jihoon can have anyone, so why would he settle for Daniel?

That’s not his only concern, because both Hyunbin and Seongwoo have slipped into their respective bedrooms, and despite the ruckus Woojin has been causing, they haven’t gone out yet. Daniel is aware that he’s being a mother hen, yet if his plan hasn’t worked, he has no idea how they could fix their issues.

“Are you okay?” Jihoon asks, eyebrows softly furrowed, and walks around the table to stand next to Daniel. Daniel runs a hand through his hair, frustrated, and Jihoon pats his thigh in an attempt to comfort him. “Don’t think too much, hyung. They looked fine.”

“What are you two exactly doing?” Euiwoong protests, pushing more food into his mouth, and Daniel swears that both drunk and hungover Euiwoong are the same person, but have nothing to do with the normal, sober Euiwoong. “I’m going to vomit too but for different reasons.”

Realization sinks too late: Daniel has automatically responded to Jihoon’s touch by passing an arm around his waist, and that is, perhaps, an intimate reaction that he shouldn’t have had. Jihoon is unfazed, just scooting closer as though all his coyness has evaporated within the night, and that isn’t _typical_ either. Euiwoong’s judging stare makes it very clear.

“Shut up,” Jihoon hisses at him, recoiling away from Daniel. Daniel just lets him, because it would be odd to keep him in place and he has no right to do it; besides, Euiwoong will tease them further. Jihoon fakes a cough and faces Daniel again, eyes casted down. “Can you lend me some clothes? I feel dirty with last night’s clothes.”

“All of you is dirty in general,” Euiwoong unwarrantedly remarks.

“Yes,” Daniel answers, slowly blinking. Jihoon shouldn’t be asking for Daniel’s clothes, since they aren’t his size, although Jihoon has a penchant for wearing sweaters that are twice bigger than his frame. Seongwoo could lend him something that would fit him. “You can take whatever you want?”

But damn, Jihoon wearing his clothes sounds _nice_ , Jihoon going home with his clothes sounds very, very nice. And it’s a great excuse to come over and retrieve them, even if he is interested exclusively in Jihoon’s company. However, Jihoon seems to be oblivious and thrilled, and beams at him before darting away to the room.

When Daniel is sucked back into reality, he meets eyes with Euiwoong, who is sending him a malicious smirk, arms crossed over the table. He leans forward, pupils sparkling, and whispers, “Kang Daniel, from 0 to 10, how much do you think Jihoon is manipulating you?”

 

 

 

 

The only positive outcome of the night is that Hyunbin and Seongwoo have indeed come to terms with each other’s point of view. There is a certain tension between them, anyhow, and Daniel catches Hyunbin frowning at Seongwoo at the most random moments. Instead of looking hostile, Hyunbin looks confused, as though he yearns to manifest something but has forgotten the language to do so.

Seongwoo notices, exchanging significant looks with Daniel that none of them can actually interpret, because they are as disconcerted as the other one. Yet the atmosphere is peaceful again in the house, and that’s all that matters. Hyunbin is more silent than usual, but it’s not excessively worrisome.

“We avoided mentioning Jonghyun,” Seongwoo explains one night, not able to put up with Daniel’s curiosity anymore. “We both apologized and agreed that we shouldn’t fight, and I told him that I feel like shit when he’s not talking to me? And then he started crying.”

“Maybe he feels guilty?” Daniel offers. Seongwoo shrugs, but the tension in his jaw betrays him and Daniel knows right away that he doesn’t have the same opinion. “He’s acting weird, that’s for sure.”

Seongwoo sighs, rubbing his face with the palm of his face, “He probably suspects that I still want him to break up with Jonghyun, or to not see him anymore, whatever. But since I didn’t explain why…”

Daniel bites his tongue to not give him any advice, because his heart tells him to encourage Seongwoo to confess. His friend was right: it isn’t the right moment, not with their argument so recent, and he has to take a risk and hope that his relationship with Jonghyun doesn’t become serious.

It's all about taking risks, Daniel learns, but being just as pessimistic as Seongwoo is, he understands why he prefers to have a static friendship. Anything is better than losing Hyunbin.

 

 

 

 

Daniel forgets to tell Jihoon that Taewoong's birthday party is casual, small and almost intimate. That lapse pays off when Jihoon shows up looking conventionally pretty for the first time, which means that he must have received help from someone. It's simple, but tight jeans and a white shirt leave Daniel breathless, and that's the confirmation of how he won't be able to brush off his crush on Jihoon fast enough to not lose his mind.

Although Daniel talked everyone into attending the party, Euiwoong and Woojin text him that same afternoon with excuses, so in the end the only novel addition is Jihoon, who is having trouble to conceal his nervousness. Daniel knows that Taewoong's parties aren't that fun, yet he doesn't want to bustle Jihoon's bubble. The ride to Taewoong's house is odd, with Hyunbin and Seongwoo sitting in the front in a polite silence, while Jihoon blabbers to Daniel in the backseat. It's the first time Daniel has heard Jihoon talk so much, and he's both perplexed and spellbound, observing how responsive Jihoon is to every one of Daniel’s words.

“When does the party end?” Jihoon asks once the car halts, Seongwoo shutting the engine down. He glances around anxiously, reaching for the door, and Daniel admits he's impressed at how impatient Jihoon is, despite his nervousness.

Daniel chuckles at the question, “Whenever you want to go home.”

“I'll tell you,” Jihoon affirms with a subtle nod, not aware of what he's implying.

Jihoon's boldness fades away progressively as they move towards Taewoong's door, and Daniel sucks a breath when Jihoon brushes his fingers against his wrist, as to ask him to hold his hand. It's a bad idea to introduce Jihoon to his friends while holding hands, needless to say, since Daniel has insisted a thousand times that they aren't dating. That they are going slow.

But Daniel can't resist him, and he complies, a soft grip on Jihoon's hand and fingers slightly intertwined. Seongwoo arches his eyebrow at him, questioning, before ringing the bell.

“Congrats on being the last ones to arrive," Jinwoo greets them, clapping Seongwoo on the back, and then his eyes fall on Hyunbin and he grins in a way that isn't very characteristic of him. "God, Hyunbin, I haven't seen you in four months at least.”

Hyunbin giggles as Jinwoo goes on a rant about how handsome and tall Hyunbin is growing, though he hasn't changed at all in the last two years. When Hyunbin breaks out from the cascade of compliments, Jinwoo has no option but to notice Daniel, who is well aware of what's coming. He displays his most awkward smile ever, yet that doesn’t convince his friend.

"Well, you piece of shit that never visits us because he's too busy to have friends," Jinwoo spits, not a hint of kindness in his voice, and Daniel draws back, ashamed. Jinwoo scans Jihoon from head to toe, incredulity painted all over his face when his stare finds their hands together. "You brought a boy?"

Daniel chokes on his own spit, and Jihoon turns his head to dedicate him a confused look. Reminding himself that he's embarrassing himself in front of Jinwoo, he forgets to explain that Jihoon is his friend and only announces, "This is Jihoon."

Jinwoo points at Daniel with his chin, but his stare remains fixed on Jihoon, “What are you doing with Piece of Shit? Didn't anyone warn you?”

“Stop, hyung,” Daniel whines, and gets startled when Jihoon laughs at him, not an ounce of shame and pretty much amused at the bullying.

However, Jinwoo releases an exasperated sigh and continues, “Jisung will eat you alive if you hold Daniel like that." And then he spins on his heels, not waiting to see how Jihoon immediately draws his hand away like Daniel burns, and Daniel hears him mutter, “And that's my good deed of the year.”

Eyes round, Jihoon asks, “Who is Jisung and why is he going to eat me?”

Daniel wants to smash his head against the nearest wall for involving Jihoon in this mess, but instead he ushers him inside and assures him that he doesn't have any reason to worry. In fact, Jihoon is by far the most harmless boy Daniel has ever brought to this house. If Jisung doesn't approve of him, then he's losing his sanity.

Apart from them, there are around twenty persons in the party, which isn't unexpected. Taewoong celebrates his birthdays this way since that time Jinwoo invited too many people and he found a couple in his room - he was set to sell the mattress after that.

When Daniel spots Jisung and Taewoong in the garden, the latter with his pants rolled up and his ankles inside the pool, he doesn’t hesitate to approach. But once he sets foot in the garden, Jihoon glued to him like he’s going to get lost otherwise, he realizes that there is someone in the living room that he wasn’t counting on.

Minhyun is chatting up with Hyunbin, who is clearly eager and pleased to have Minhyun there. Daniel should have supposed that this could happen, because Daniel dated Minhyun for a long time and his friends developed affection for him, not to mention that Minhyun is great at keeping up with friendships. Of course Taewoong was going to invite him, _of course_. It’s the perfect way to get back at Daniel for being a shitty friend, for starters, and Taewoong has always had that flame of evil in him.

“Okay, I think I’m going to follow you all the time?” Jihoon suddenly says, rubbing the back of his neck, and Daniel forgets Minhyun for a second. “Without Woojin and Euiwoong, this is-”

“That’s fine,” Daniel agrees, relieved. If Jihoon is around, that means he doesn’t have to confront Minhyun alone when he discovers that Daniel has arrived. “Also, don’t let Jisung intimidate you, he said you were cute.”

“He said… what?” Jihoon stares at him in disbelief.  “How does he know me?”

It was because Daniel provided him with Jihoon’s instagram, but he isn’t going to reveal that. Ignoring Jihoon, he strides to the pool, effectively dodging Minhyun’s eyes much to his luck, but not Taewoong’s glare as he approaches.

“Who invited a stranger to my birthday party?” Taewoong spews, rancorous.

Next to Daniel, Jihoon becomes rigid, thinking Taewoong is talking about him, but Daniel laughs and says, “Don’t be like that, hyung, I even bought you a gift!”

Taewoong flings his feet out of the pool to stand up, and narrows his eyes at Daniel, “Did you buy shampoo again? I told you that’s not a normal gift.”

“He actually bought you shampoo,” Jisung supplies with a grin, and Taewoong’s expression turns dark. However, unlike Taewoong, Jisung heeds Jihoon, who is currently half hiding behind Daniel. “You are Jihoon, right? Let me get you a drink, I will introduce you to some people.”

Jisung is too smart and too fast for Daniel to save Jihoon in time. It doesn’t matter that he has agreed to spend all night with Jihoon, because Jisung softly drags him to his side in the blink of an eye, escorting him back inside. Daniel stares at them in horror, not knowing how to intervene without embarrassing Jihoon in the process.

“You can stay the night if you want,” Taewoong says then, following his gaze. “But use the guest room.”

“I’m not going to-”

Taewoong shuts him up with a warning look, “Sure.”

Under his friend’s judgement, Daniel escapes as fast as he can, though his aim is to watch that Jisung isn’t strangling Jihoon at some dark corner of the house. Given how little the universe loves him, he runs straight into Hyunbin and Minhyun, but for some reason Minhyun greets and smiles at him without showing further interest.

Troubled, Daniel finds Jinwoo sitting on the couch and drinking with a girl he doesn’t know —Daniel really needs to get updated on the boys’ friendships, because half of the faces at the party aren’t familiar — and he crashes their talk. The next thing he knows is that Jihoon has joined them, still alive after Jisung’s interrogation and whispering that Jisung asked him really weird questions.

“Here,” Jihoon offers with a smile, shoving a drink into Daniel’s hands.

Daniel leaves a space on the couch for Jihoon, but it's too small for four persons and they find themselves cramped against each other. Not that it's a bad thing, because Daniel has no option but to sling his arm around Jihoon, while Jihoon rests his free hand on his leg, leaning towards him. The contact is comfortable, so much that Daniel is sure he must have dreamed about this before.

Perhaps because their thighs are pressed against each other, and the temperature of the room is rising at an alarming rate, he blurts out, “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

Jihoon scoffs at that, momentarily meeting his eyes, and confesses, “Definitely.”

It's hard for Daniel to not show his surprise, so he conceals it with a laugh, affectionately pinching Jihoon's side, “Aren’t you becoming a bit cheeky, Park?”

“Just a little bit,” Jihoon bites back, tilting his head. His smile grows bigger and bigger at Daniel's confusion, and Daniel swears he nearly swallows his own tongue when he remembers Euiwoong's words. Still, Jihoon's grin is mostly sweet, but behind that, Daniel fears that he's aware of what he's doing to him. “Any problem?”

Shaking his head to hide his embarrassment, Daniel jokes, “Did Jisung drug you while you were in the kitchen?”

“Can you guys,” Jinwoo starts, groaning in disgust. “You know, not flirt like animals in heat when there are people around? Get a damn room.”

That brings Jihoon's shyness back, grasp moving away from Daniel's thigh and a blush on his cheeks. Daniel isn't going to admit that he's disappointed, yet he kicks Jinwoo in the shin; his friend is sensible enough to get the hint, proposing the girl to go outside. Both Daniel and Jihoon observe them leave in silence, and even if there is more space for them to sit apart, Daniel stays put, not allowing that to happen.

“Sorry. My friends don't have a brain to mouth filter.”

Because of the apology, Jihoon relaxes right away, as if he has supposed the blame was on him. Daniel hooks their fingers together, and Jihoon grants him a timid smile, “Well, he was right.”

“Yeah? What part?”

“What do you mean what part?” Jihoon repeats with a chuckle. Even though the blush is still on his face, he’s delighted rather than demure. He rubs his thumb along the upper part of Daniel’s hand, reaching his knuckles, and continues, “Do you think I’m talking about the _get a room_ part?”

Shell-shocked would be an understatement to describe how Daniel feels after hearing that. Yet Jihoon doesn’t seem to be affected by his own words, as casual as if he was offering him food or a stroll around the city.

For the first time, Daniel is too taken aback to respond, right when a golden chance has been served. However, silence is better than destroying the moment, and he’s lucky enough to be saved by Taewoong claiming that he’s going to open his presents.

Everyone gathers around Taewoong while Jisung and Jinwoo carry all the presents to the living room, and Jihoon leaves Daniel’s side without a word. Daniel reckons that, even if he can’t detect it on the outside, Jihoon is as flustered as him.

But Jihoon must be his lucky charm, because the moment he’s not around, it’s the moment Minhyun decides to approach him. Daniel doesn’t have time to slip away, since Minhyun appears from behind without warning, and places a hand on his lower back.

“Hey,” he whispers, a cordial smile welcoming him, and Daniel gapes a little like the fool he is. “It has been a while. I think I hang out with your friends more than you do.”

For a few seconds, Daniel is dumbstruck, even if it’s upsetting to acknowledge that Minhyun still has that effect on him. The worst is how merry Minhyun looks, quite unbothered by the fact that Daniel is the one who rejected him, while Daniel is aghast. He has to make an effort to remind himself that Minhyun has left their quarrels behind, and that he is too polite to bring them up, at least in public.

Daniel clears his throat to gain time, and jokes, “Don’t tell them, but it’s on purpose.”

Minhyun laughs one of his loud laughs, startling Taewoong as he opens one of his presents. Some people laugh at the interruption, yet Daniel catches Seongwoo sending an odd glance their way, and he can almost hear the silent question from his friend.

“It’s weird to not have you around annoying us,” Minhyun admits like it’s not a big deal. There is no way Minhyun misses him, though, but he’s always too nice, too correct, and incapable of holding grudges for long. “You should come over one day with Hyunbin, he frequents our flat a lot lately.”

Daniel doesn’t know why he nods, but he does. He regrets it the next second when Minhyun gives him a brief, side hug, because he’s conscious that it’s an empty promise; and he regrets it even more when he discovers Jihoon across the room, staring at Minhyun with a blank expression and his lips pressed in a line. Daniel’s stomach does a flip at the view, since Jihoon’s face is void of any emotion, and it triggers him to step back, to not let Minhyun touch him so closely.

After exchanging a few more words, he wriggles out of Minhyun’s grip and darts towards Jihoon, who is with the girl from earlier. The way he ignores Daniel is blatant, and Daniel can only stand behind him, not daring to barge in their conversation.

By the time Taewoong has complained about all his presents, except the one Jisung bought, Daniel is on the edge. And Jihoon isn’t stupid, because as soon as people scatter everywhere and the girl leaves, he spins around to glance at Daniel, no trace of hesitation.

“That was Minhyun, right?” he asks, although it doesn’t sound like a question. He avoids Daniel’s eyes, however, as he mutters, “The guy that has something going on with you?”

Daniel has no idea where Jihoon got that information from, and he’s so taken aback that he can’t help but snicker. Jihoon frowns at him, offended, and Daniel struggles to say, “Had. Past. Minhyun is my ex-boyfriend.”

The tension in Jihoon’s shoulders disappears out of the blue, and his reaction is transparent, so transparent that Daniel has to repress a smile. Daniel isn’t a jealous person himself, so the possibility of Jihoon being that type has never crossed his mind. Jihoon is the last person that should be insecure, but his inexperience might be the reason.

“He’s really handsome,” Jihoon mutters under his breath. The clarification, although it has calmed him down, seems to also have made him realize he was being irrational, therefore he’s unable to meet Daniel’s gaze. “For how long did you date him?”

Daniel is sure that discussing this topic in the middle of a living room full of tipsy people isn’t an ideal situation. If Jihoon is disposed to learn about his past, failed relationships, the curiosity won’t be satisfied in ten minutes – Daniel’s list is pretty long, to his dismay. Besides, Daniel is curious about Jihoon as well, or at least about if he remembers what he revealed a few nights ago. It’s undeniable that Daniel needs to sort out some of his doubts, and the only way is to ask Jihoon directly, instead of mulling over suppositions and reaching wrong conclusions.

“Actually, I think we should talk about this somewhere else? In private?” Daniel suggests with a sigh. “I have permission to use the bedrooms.”

When Jihoon lifts his chin, all Daniel finds in his pupils is anxiety. However, he manages to pull one of his blinding smiles and points out, “We’re going to get a room, after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's say this is a... bridge chapter, because I had to cut it in half since it was too long D: I promise I'll update sooner this time to compensate for that cliffhanger and the lack of action /rolls away/


	6. Chapter 6

It’s Jihoon who locks the door after them.

If Jinwoo finds out that there is a bedroom locked, he’s going to destroy both of them, but Daniel is too nervous to mention it. Despite his initiative, Jihoon also looks like he has been coerced into this situation, which isn’t far from the truth. Besides, Daniel bets that he has more questions than Jihoon could ever have, so he has reasons to be scared.

“Are you going to stand there?” Daniel observes to break the ice, motioning so that Jihoon comes closer.

The bed is small, but there isn’t any other place to sit. It’s not uncomfortable for any of them, since they have gotten used to each other’s presence, though Jihoon keeps licking his lips and dodging Daniel’s glances.

“Do I start?” Daniel offers, and Jihoon nods with his head down, stare on the mattress. Daniel curls a hand around his thigh to draw his attention, which works, even if Jihoon seems to meet his eyes only out of surprise. “Okay, I dated Minhyun for about a year. I have been with other guys but he was my only… somewhat serious relationship. After the break-up, he was angry at me for a while, and he had reasons to be. He’s over it now, it seems, but the first months were _bad_.”

Perhaps Jihoon isn’t expecting so much sincerity, because he opens and closes his mouth several times like a fish. Daniel gives him an encouraging smile, aware that he means to ask, and Jihoon manages to utter, “Why was he angry?”

“Because he trusted me and I failed him,” Daniel says, shoulders hunched. It’s not every day that he admits the truth, being as hard-headed as he is, but Jihoon doesn’t deserve to be lied to. “I didn’t want us to be official, and I hid the relationship from everyone except my friends.”

Comprehension, or a similar emotion reflects on Jihoon’s face, and Daniel can tell he’s contemplating if he should dig up further. His conclusion is evidently negative, because he takes a deep breath and asks instead, “Did you love him?”

After a silence, Daniel stutters, “I guess so. But I couldn’t see that back then.”

It’s not the perfect answer, considering how Jihoon’s face falls. Daniel wouldn’t like to hear it either if it was coming from Jihoon, but he doesn’t have any romantic feelings left for Minhyun anyway, just regret for his own mistakes. It shouldn’t matter.

“I’m sorry, am I making things awkward?” he continues, concern spiking. Jihoon shakes his head profusely, not even noticing how Daniel’s thumb kneads on his thigh as to give him some comfort. “Unless you want to ask me something else, it’s your turn.”

There isn’t anything more shocking than hearing Jihoon mutter under his breath a clear, “Fuck.”

Surprised, Daniel can’t help but release an incredulous laugh, “Is it that bad? Come on, it can’t be worse that _I broke up with someone that I loved because I couldn’t compromise_.”

“True,” Jihoon agrees, breaking into a genuine smile that turns into snickering when Daniel nudges him with his fist, feigning offense.

“So, what is it?”

Jihoon wets his lips again and meets Daniel’s gaze, agitated, and faster than it’s humanly possible, he spews, “Euiwoong told me what Netflix and chill means.”

All of sudden, touching Jihoon’s thigh feels like a sin, and Daniel’s fingers burn at the contact. And the room is very, very small, and Jihoon is definitely closer than what it would be appropriate, although he hasn’t moved an inch.

Now it’s Daniel who has the urge to curse, because Jihoon might have known for a long time, and he’s afraid to even ask. Maybe that’s what Euiwoong was talking about, about Jihoon having the advantage of knowing that Daniel wants into his pants.

It takes Daniel a while to realize he isn’t petrified, which is obvious due to Jihoon’s panicking expression. Yet  Daniel’s tongue doesn’t obey him, and he’s limited to stare at Jihoon in disbelief.

“You’re kind of intimidating,” Jihoon blurts out, tone going higher. “And when I knew that your first intention was sleeping with me, I freaked out.”

At last, Daniel finds strength to reply, “Oh god, that wasn’t-”

“I freaked out because I didn’t sleep with you and then you were avoiding me, and I was afraid I had fucked up,” Jihoon goes on, not allowing Daniel to clarify anything.  “So I thought I had to take the next step or you would give up on me, and that’s why I asked you for another date, and you agreed but never brought it up again.”

Jihoon pauses, out of breath, and by then Daniel has started to digest what Jihoon intends to explain, though not with much success:  he thought that Daniel was after sex, and when he didn’t get it, he lost interest in Jihoon. Not only it’s far from the truth, but also a terrible assumption. Seongwoo was right, because this is the proof that Daniel can’t flirt to save his life, to the point that he has come off as an asshole that was going to use Jihoon.

“Stop, I got it,” Daniel whispers, rubbing a hand over his face.

However, Jihoon doesn’t give him time to organize his thoughts, eyes fluttering close. It isn’t hard to notice how one of his hands trembles, though it’s a slight movement and he does a good job at concealing it. “And Minhyun is really hot?” he adds, voice low, almost fading away. “Why would you fool around with someone… like me, when you can go back to him?”

Daniel’s mind is flooded with too much information, so he only addresses the most insignificant part of what Jihoon has said, “When it comes to Minhyun, you have nothing to be jealous of. And I mean it.” Jihoon is too tense to show a smile, but Daniel reads the surprise in his face, how Jihoon doesn’t believe it. “Do you remember what you told me while drunk?”

 “Yes,” Jihoon groans, mortified. When Daniel stops to analyze him again, Jihoon’s mood has shifted towards regret instead, biting on his lower lip. “Part of that was a lie. I have dated only one girl.”

Daniel arches his eyebrows, “You lie while being drunk?”

 “Apparently.” Jihoon changes his position on the bed, budging so that he can be face to face with Daniel. Somehow, Daniel is positive that they’re closer now, or perhaps it’s just the fact that Daniel takes a look at Jihoon’s lips and feels overpowered. “Is that a problem? I don’t want it to be a problem. I’m not experimenting, hyung, I know I like guys.”

Daniel would never doubt it; the way Jihoon stares at him is enough to know that he doesn’t see him as a friend. It’s either admiration or attraction, and Daniel wouldn’t flatter himself assuming that he’s the first boy Jihoon has ever liked. If Jihoon wasn’t sure, he wouldn’t let Daniel to touch him like he does, hand wrapped around his thigh.

“Daniel,” Jihoon softly calls him, honorifics and insecurity forgotten.

Jihoon’s eyes are shiny, not an unusual thing, but this time is different. What weakens Daniel’s defenses isn’t the expectation in his stare, but his lips; he has been licking and biting them too much out of nervousness, and now they’re red, swollen, and they are terribly distracting. Daniel has never been good at reading signals, yet that doesn’t matter much, because he knows what he wants to do.

 Jihoon doesn’t budge when Daniel holds his chin, fingertips softly pushing up. Jihoon doesn’t understand at first, confusion striking across his face, but then Daniel leans forward and Jihoon’s breath hitches, lips parted in anticipation. Daniel isn’t the one who makes the distance disappear; it’s both of them, much to his surprise, Jihoon meeting him halfway with an unexpected eagerness.

Jihoon’s lips are firm and full and that’s all what Daniel can think for a second, fingers going numb under his chin. The way Jihoon kisses him back is timid, wary, but not clumsy, and his lips caress Daniel’s with a hint of impatience. If Daniel didn’t know better, he would suspect that Jihoon is frustrated by how Daniel kisses him, like he’s a delicate thing that needs to be taught. And then Jihoon slowly smoothens Daniel’s t-shirt, hands travelling from his chest and over his shoulders, and fingers stroking his nape as he tries to deepen the kiss.

Daniel almost falls for it, but he realizes in time, when Jihoon starts to discreetly climb on his lap. It disguises as a natural move, but it makes all the alarms in Daniel’s head go off, aware that he won’t have enough determination to stop Jihoon. He has no option but to break the kiss right then, tenderly separating Jihoon with a push. Jihoon puts up resistance, refusing to move away completely, his breath ghosting over Daniel’s lips.

“What are you doing?” Jihoon whispers, opening his eyes, stare unfocused.

Conscious that Jihoon is about to dip for another kiss, Daniel brushes his cheek with his thumb to distract him. Jihoon indeed follows the touch, head tilting, and it feels so intimate that Daniel’s heart jumps in his chest, gazing at a Jihoon that looks both captivated and vulnerable.

“You had to start somewhere, right?” Daniel lies, because that’s not the reason he has kissed Jihoon, neither it’s the answer to his question.

But it works, and Jihoon sends him a small smile, scrunching his nose like Daniel isn’t understanding anything. “I said I hadn’t dated a boy before,” he reiterates. He still has his arms secured around Daniel’s neck, forbidding him to withdraw. “Not that I had never kissed a boy.”

Daniel feels like he has been slapped in the face. “What?” he gasps, and then grumbles in protest, realizing how Jihoon has fooled him. _Technicalities_. “Shit, Jihoon, that was unfair. Who did you kiss? A high school classmate?”

Judging the smirk playing on Jihoon’s face, he’s having a lot of fun with the turn of events. Daniel holds him harder to prompt him, but Jihoon is smart enough to use that opportunity to move closer, knees on the bed. “You know him,” he says. Shocked, Daniel gapes at him, and Jihoon considers, “Maybe I shouldn’t tell?”

“You can’t tell me _that_ and then not say who,” Daniel complains, beyond offended. He has been worrying about how Jihoon was completely inexperienced, and it turns out that he’s only inexperienced in having a relationship. Jihoon falls off his lap, rolling over the bed in a fit of laughter, and Daniel frowns at him, “Why are you laughing?”

It’s endearing how Jihoon has trouble to talk, clutching his stomach, a smile so wide that Daniel is sure that it must hurt.

“You’re getting all agitated,” he points out, as though Daniel worried over Jihoon having kissed other boys is the funniest thing in the world. Maybe it is, and it would be for Daniel too except he has lost sleep over the topic. Jihoon covers his mouth until he calms down, under Daniel’s displeased eyes, and then he states, “I want something in exchange for the answer.”

Indignant, Daniel pinches Jihoon’s side, and Jihoon tries to draw away with a high pitched scream.  Daniel wheezes at the image, Jihoon looking like a cornered puppy, and spits, “Who are you to demand anything?”

“The one with a secret to be shared?” Jihoon asks, unsure. Daniel reaches to pinch him again, and although Jihoon dodges him at first, blocking his arm, he soon has nowhere to escape. Daniel bursts into laughter, and trapped, Jihoon yells, “It was Euiwoong!”

That makes Daniel’s laughter stop right away.

 

 

 

 

When they leave the party, both Hyunbin and Seongwoo are in a horrible mood, but Daniel doesn’t dare to intrude. Not with Jihoon present, at least, sitting next to him in the car and leaning his head on Daniel’s shoulder. He seems to be pretty content, if Daniel can say so, and Daniel feels something beyond that, satisfaction and expectation mixed.

They drop Jihoon at his dorm first, though Daniel tells him that he doesn’t mind if he spends the night with them. Jihoon simply cackles, gives him a sweet peck on the cheek, and gets off the car, and Daniel becomes very self-conscious of the teasing look Seongwoo dedicates him through the rearview mirror.

As soon as they’re alone, silence expanding, Daniel asks, “What happened?”

Hyunbin doesn’t even bother to turn to him, staring outside the window, and coldly replies, “Nothing.”

Even if Daniel notes how Seongwoo sighs in resignation, he decides to not dwell in it. Hyunbin isn’t receptive, not even disposed to speak to any of them, and Seongwoo doesn’t look as upset as Hyunbin, but it would be rude to discuss it in front of Hyunbin if he doesn’t want to.

 

 

 

 

Perhaps having a study session the day after a party isn’t the best plan, but Seongwoo insists until Daniel gives in, trading the favor for a whole meal later. Once they’re on their way to the library, Daniel finds out that Seongwoo’s only aim was to get away from Hyunbin – or from the possibility of him overhearing them, for that matter. However, the outcome satisfies Daniel’s curiosity, since Seongwoo is incapable of keeping the events from last night to himself.

“We were talking to Minhyun,” Seongwoo explains as they walk through campus. “And Minhyun suggested he coud set me up with one of his friends, and maybe Hyunbin was drunker than I thought because he got mad at him. It wasn’t _nice_ , even Minhyun was shocked.”

“Who was he trying to set you up with?”

Seongwoo shrugs, “A guy called Donghan, no idea, but Hyunbin knows him. It was… weird, because Hyunbin said that I deserved better and Minhyun was fuming.”

Daniel stops in his tracks, grabbing his friend by the arm so that he follows his example. It’s obvious Seongwoo is expecting a reaction similar to that, because he’s nodding as Daniel remarks, “That sounds like-”

“I know what it sounds like,” he cuts in, and drags Daniel with him, impatient. “But please don’t say it out loud.”

This time, Daniel can’t understand his friend, since he has never been in that position. Contrary to what he would expect, Seongwoo doesn’t look happy with what Hyunbin did, mixed signals that are nothing except frustrating.

“Accept the offer, then,” Daniel mutters.

The unsettling part is that Seongwoo brushes it off without contradicting him, as though he’s actually considering that option. Daniel isn’t the most suitable to guide him, though, and he can only be by his side to fix any mess he makes.

Seongwoo remains aloof even at the library, face too close to his notes to be reading them for real. Upon noticing that, Daniel decides to bury his embarrassment and confess what happened last night, apart from the kiss.  None of his flatmates know, since Daniel hasn’t found the right moment to tell them, but he uses it now to brighten Seongwoo’s mood.

The story works perfectly, maybe in excess, because Seongwoo snorts so hard that half of the students at the library stare at them in annoyance.

“He made out with Euiwoong? Euiwoong is the only boy he has kissed?” he repeats, not pitying how miserable Daniel looks. He bends over the table in an attempt to muffle his laughter with a book. “I’m a fortune-teller, damn.”

Daniel groans, “That happened months ago, shut up.”

“This is amazing,” Seongwoo continues, ignoring his whining. “Now every time you see them together being lovey dovey, which by the way happens suspiciously often, you will be pissed.”

“I won’t!” Daniel grumbles, so loud that Seongwoo slaps his arm to remind him where they are. “I’m not five years old, okay? They made out at a party when the semester began, and that’s how they met and befriended each other. If they were going to date, they would have already had done it.”

At that reasoning, Seongwoo lifts his eyebrows so high that they disappear under his bangs. “Sure,” he replies, and Daniel has never been more disturbed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey I updated soon, as I said I would! /pats myself on the back/ but next chapter will probably take a while, since I have to finish a fic for a fest D:


	7. Chapter 7

Daniel hasn’t built any expectations, since he hasn’t bothered to discuss with Jihoon what the kiss exactly meant. It’s a silent agreement, however, now that their feelings are exposed, and Daniel doesn’t need to ask to have the certainty that Jihoon doesn’t consider him a fling.

There are a few reasons why Daniel is dodging a more serious conversation, to not set a label to their relationship. What he’s sure of is that Jihoon has a considerable pressure on him, feeling compelled to be on the same _level_ that Daniel is, and that’s why he doesn’t want to take things slow. That means is on Daniel’s hands to assure that Jihoon doesn’t force himself to be someone he isn’t, and calling him his boyfriend would make Jihoon think he has responsibilities.

It’s not because Daniel doesn’t want to compromise – though it’s way too early for that, anyway – but because he wishes Jihoon would enjoy this, whatever they have right now.

Yet it’s evident that Jihoon hasn’t been mulling over their relationship so much, because he doesn’t hesitate, not even for a moment, to greet Daniel with a peck on his lips the next time they meet. Daniel barely hides his surprise, but Jihoon doesn’t notice, darting a satisfied smile at him.

Although shy, and often embarrassed of his own actions, Jihoon turns out to be the affectionate type. Not that Daniel is uncomfortable with that. On the contrary, he appreciates that Jihoon holds his hand at random times, or steals short kisses that Daniel isn’t ready for, in the most inappropriate places or with the most inappropriate company.

Needless to say, since Seongwoo isn’t on the best terms with Hyunbin, he becomes the first victim of Jihoon’s behavior. It’s in part Daniel’s fault too, because he’s used to spend his study sessions with Seongwoo, so his friend naturally sticks along when Daniel mentions Jihoon is coming over to study.

It’s fine at first, because Seongwoo occupies Daniel’s bed while Jihoon and Daniel sit at the desk, and they talk only in certain occasions, mostly Jihoon trying to solve his doubts. What Daniel ignores is that Jihoon doesn’t have a long attention span, and after one hour he’s just resting his cheek against Daniel’s arm, eventually stealing his pen and whining about how bored he is.

“Your endurance is disappointing,” Daniel teases him, casting a sideways glance at him. “Do you want to take the bed?”

Seongwoo spares them a look, waiting to be kicked out of the bed in favor of Jihoon. Daniel isn’t that sort of horrible friend, but if Jihoon asked… maybe he would force Seongwoo out, not only of the bed but also out of the room.

“No,” Jihoon says, however, and sinks his face further into Daniel’s arm. “Want to stay here.”

Hoping that Jihoon will stay calm, they focus on their books again. Daniel doesn’t know how, but a few minutes later Jihoon has found his way on his lap, his own chair long forgotten. And if it was hard to study before, now it’s impossible: having Jihoon on him is a powerful distraction. He squirms without any consideration and keeps leaning back against his chest, just to smile up at him and laugh at Daniel’s frown.

Since Seongwoo is lying on his stomach, he doesn’t see them at first. But at some point he flips over, and Daniel is so unlucky that Seongwoo catches them right when Jihoon is planting a kiss under his jaw.

 “What the fuck,” Seongwoo grunts in irritation. He shuts his textbook close and throws his highlighter away. “And I thought studying with Daniel was bad.”

In normal circumstances, Daniel wouldn’t feel embarrassed, but his mind is in a dangerous place, definitely far away from studying, and Seongwoo’s words get to him. However, Jihoon seems oblivious of what he’s doing, of what Seongwoo is complaining about, because his face remains placid and at ease.

“That’s true, you mentioned it once,” he points out. Then he tilts his head, and Daniel’s eyes travel straight to his neck, although Jihoon isn’t doing it on purpose. “Why are you here, then?”

Shock strikes across Seongwoo’s face, mouth hanging open, and Daniel isn’t less struck than him. Jihoon doesn’t realize what’s happening, or he pretends that he hasn’t just insinuated Seongwoo should leave them alone. Whatever the truth is, Daniel still pinches his arm and hisses, “Jihoon!”

Being attacked by Daniel pushes Jihoon’s logic, and he turns red in the blink of an eye. Flustered, he waves his hands in front of his own face and exclaims, “I don’t mean it that way, it’s a legit question!”

Seongwoo rolls his eyes, making Jihoon shrink, and huffs, “Yes, sure. But I’m not up for this vomit inducing show, so you can have Daniel for yourself.”

Daniel has known Seongwoo for a long time, and he has no doubt that he’s joking, not even a bit mad, yet Jihoon doesn’t have any idea. Seeing Jihoon so troubled is pretty entertaining, however, and Daniel decides to not explain that Seongwoo is messing up with them. By the time he has picked up his notes and books, and is heading to the door, Jihoon is a stuttering mess. His apologies are disregarded anyhow, and Daniel catches a glimpse of Seongwoo’s smirk before he disappears.

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon mumbles.

Daniel pats his thigh, “The bed is free now, just go enjoy it.”

Jihoon follows his advice, much to Daniel’s luck, since he can’t feel his legs anymore from holding Jihoon’s weight. It’s oddly endearing to watch Jihoon getting comfortable in his bed, this time sober, much more relaxed, and being a completely different person in Daniel’s eyes. Daniel can’t help but smile at the view, and Jihoon lifts an eyebrow, either in amusement or to tease him, before responding with the same gesture.

Perhaps Daniel is an open book when it comes to his feelings, but he doesn’t mind much, at this point.

 

 

 

 

It’s natural that, in the beginning, Daniel and Jihoon are attached at the hip, but that doesn’t mean their friends are tolerant. Seongwoo likes knocking on the bedroom’s room door when they’re alone, and it wouldn’t be the first time if he walked in without previous notice and surprised Daniel with a hand under Jihoon’s t-shirt. On the other hand, Euiwoong finds joy in asking Jihoon invasive questions, not waiting an answer, just to invoke his frustration.

After immersing himself so deep in the relationship, Daniel swims to the surface and discovers a few truths. He should have noticed earlier how Jihoon’s behavior shifts completely in certain situations, but he can’t find the common factor that causes the change. Jihoon can be very prone to physical contact, even borderline clingy, so when he avoids touching Daniel, or discreetly rejects his advances, it’s inevitable that Daniel gets suspicious.

Daniel analyzes the possible reasons, yet there must be something that it’s out of his reach, because he doesn’t find the answer. And he almost concludes that perhaps Jihoon needs to rest from so much skinship sometimes, which wouldn’t be that odd – Jihoon is exclusively caring with Euiwoong and him, so it’s not a general trait of his.

However, Daniel is proven wrong when one afternoon they find themselves in an arcade with Woojin and Euiwoong. And then he realizes: every time Woojin isn’t looking at them, Jihoon gravitates towards him, but when Woojin is around them, Jihoon becomes tense and alert. The difference is so big that Jihoon even sneaks a kiss when Woojin goes to the bathroom, and that’s the final proof Daniel needs to confirm his suspicions.

“You haven’t told him,” Daniel accuses when Jihoon breaks the kiss, a smile on his lips that fades away in an instant.

Euiwoong side eyes them, but Jihoon ignores both of them and pretends he doesn’t know what Daniel is talking about, “What?”

Daniel slaps a hand on Jihoon’s side, making him yelp, and chides, “You had to tell Woojin! It’s going to be worse if he finds out by himself.”

And by that Daniel means that Seongwoo or Hyunbin might run their mouth, or even Euiwoong if he gets tired of dealing with them. Daniel can’t predict what Woojin’s reaction will be, but for sure he’s not going to congratulate them. Castrating Daniel seems like the most plausible outcome.

“Why don’t you do it? You’re his friend,” Jihoon protests, completely forgetting the game. Then he jabs a finger in Daniel’s chest and remarks, “You’re the one who is doing something wrong.”

Daniel lets out a scoff, “You’re wrong, then?” Euiwoong laughs at that, and Jihoon opens and closes his lips, searching for a reply and failing. Daniel flashes a triumphant smirk and says, “Park, tell him.”

“Don’t _Park_ me with the same mouth you kiss me, what the hell,” Jihoon hisses, disturbed. He frowns as he notices that his expression simply contributes to Daniel’s merriness. “Woojin has me on a pedestal, so you will be the one suffering.”

Now it’s Euiwoong’s turn to be skeptic, “How did you climb on that pedestal? You’re a mess.”

Jihoon shrugs, “But he’s messier. That’s the key.”

“Park,” Daniel insists, cackling when Jihoon places a hand over his chest as though Daniel has just shot him in the heart. Refusing to call Jihoon by his name seems to be a great way to coerce him. “Don’t change the topic.”

Jihoon pouts at him. He _pouts_ , which is so unlike Jihoon that Daniel stares at him in shock, mildly horrified. And it’s horrifying because, in Daniel’s eyes, that turns out to be quite adorable. Yet he can’t give in without putting a fight, especially because the prospect of having to reveal to Woojin that he might be dating his cousin - or whatever they’re doing – is way worse than arguing with Jihoon.

Euiwoong groans as he loses the game, but then he looks at them out of the corner of his eyes and snoops, “Am I witnessing your first lovers’ quarrel?”

“First of all, don’t call us lovers, that sounds gross,” Jihoon warns him, and Daniel supports him with a nod. It’s likely that Euiwoong is about to remind them that they’re gross, but Jihoon continues, “And we actually fought over Captain America yesterday.”

“Don’t tell me Daniel is team Iron Man.”

Jihoon releases an exasperated sigh, “Yes, dude, he is.”

Caught off guard because now Euiwoong is glowering at him as if he has committed the worst crime, Daniel can only remain speechless. Unlike him, Jihoon is very proud of himself and his small success.

“Just let Woojin figure it out,” Euiwoong tells them, still glaring at Daniel. That should be enough of a reason for Daniel to disobey, but Woojin has stepped out of the bathroom and is striding towards them. Euiwoong exchanges a significant look with Jihoon and assures, “It will be fun.”

 

 

 

 

“What is he supposed to tell Woojin?” Seongwoo asks, stare severe, when Daniel explains the whole deal. “Look, Daniel, you’re very confusing.”

After Seongwoo convinced him to skip classes, he led Daniel to a small café that was further away from campus, which was inconvenient but allowed them to have privacy. Daniel hasn’t commented on it yet, since it’s obvious that Seongwoo intends to avoid any confrontation with Hyunbin, once again, although at home they’re pretending that they’re fine with each other. It’s not Daniel’s business, unless they ask for help; he knows Seongwoo wouldn’t appreciate Daniel meddling, and it’s not like he can go and tell Hyunbin that Seongwoo is in love with him.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t want to put a label on your relationship yet, right?” Seongwoo reminds him, quoting what Daniel himself said days ago. “And you want to go slow, but what you’re doing is ask Jihoon to tell his family about a relationship that is not serious so far? Woojin is his _family_ , dude. If you fuck Jihoon up in any way, you’re going to lose Woojin too.”

“I’m not going to hurt him.”

“Not intentionally.” Seongwoo stirs his coffee as he talks, resigned, no malice in his tone. “Besides, since when are you so keen on making things official? You didn’t even want to have the _talk_.”

He’s right, of course, and Daniel doesn’t have any way to retort. Frustrated, Daniel ruffles his hair, and mutters, “But we can’t just… keep it a secret.”

Seongwoo wiggles his eyebrows, a stupid smile on his face, “You’ve been doing that for three weeks though.”

Daniel relents, leaning back in his chair. He’s comfortable with how he’s working out with Jihoon, and it’s useless to find reasons to be concerned. Jihoon doesn’t seem that bothered with the fact that they’re not telling everyone that they’re together, despite Daniel’s past mistakes with Minhyun. He trusts Daniel, which is perhaps what is making him feel troubled, making him think that he has to pay back all the faith Jihoon put in him.

It’s hard to understand it, since Daniel is used to feel compelled to please his boyfriends, rather than _wanting_ to please. Jihoon isn’t asking to do anything that he isn’t disposed to do, and that’s why Daniel is lost, a bit anxious. They don’t have to confess to Woojin, as though dating is a crime,

“So, talking about relationships,” Seongwoo coughs, suddenly sitting straight, hands gripping his cup. “I’ve told Minhyun he could set me up with Donghan.”

Daniel groans, “Seongwoo, don’t.”

“It’s not a date,” he hurries to explain, but much to Daniel’s surprise, he draws a sincere smile, eyes following that emotion. “We’re meeting at Minhyun’s house. Not only the two of us, but also Jonghyun and Hyunbin.”

It’s a disaster with capital D, and it’s too late for Daniel to do damage control. He should have kept an eye on Seongwoo, who is clearly not having the best time of his life, bottling up his feelings, and who needs an intervention. An intervention that Daniel should have executed two weeks ago, at least, before Seongwoo started to message Minhyun daily and Minhyun could talk him into dating one of his friends.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Daniel sentences, fixing Seongwoo with a annoyed look. “You’re going to hang out with the person you love and the guy he’s dating. And Donghan, who you’re supposed to be interested in, but you aren’t. Besides, the person you love disapproves of Donghan and you’re just going to do it in his face.”

Seongwoo is livid, and it’s true that Daniel hasn’t been very careful with his words, but Seongwoo needs to hear it. Daniel wonders if this plan has any purpose, or Seongwoo is honestly trying to move on, or just screwing with everyone’s heads without any aim.

“Yes, it’s dumb,” Seongwoo admits, and then he’s gone for a second, far away from Daniel and the cafe, where he can’t reach him. Once his eyes focus on his Daniel again, he adds, “And that’s why you’re coming too, for moral support.”

Daniel reckons that it’s a joke, because Seongwoo is aware that Daniel can’t enter Minhyun’s house again. It has memories, an indecent amount of drama cooped up, and it’s the last place Daniel wants to return to. So he scoffs, almost laughing at the obvious teasing, “No way.”

Yet Seongwoo doesn’t laugh with him. He sounds extremely regretful as he clarifies, “Minhyun invited you. I told him you said yes.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while and it's a bridge chapter, but we're close to the peak of the fic (uhm and maybe a little bit of trouble ;) )


	8. Chapter 8

It’s the immoral thing to do, but both of them keep the meeting a secret. Hyunbin doesn’t seem to know that Seongwoo and Daniel will join him and his friends, and it’s better if it stays that way. By the time he finds out, it will be too late for Hyunbin to make a scene, especially because he’s not prone to make a fuss in public.

Hyunbin isn’t the complicated part, however, or the person who puts Daniel in a dilemma. That one is, of course, Jihoon.

Daniel tries to convince himself that hanging out with Minhyun isn’t a big deal, less while they will have company, but even if it isn’t important for him, in Jihoon’s point of view it will be. His options are limited and scary. If he tells Jihoon, he will be worried and maybe hurt, yet if Daniel decides to keep his silence, that counts as a lie, a suspicious one on top of that since it’s related to Minhyun. Daniel has nothing to hide, yet his tendency to avoid trouble whispers that he should just save himself and Jihoon an argument.

Hesitation strikes him, however, when they attend Hyunbin’s play. Hyunbin is in a drama club, not linked to their university, and at least a couple of times during the year, he invites them to come and watch. The place is small and almost neglected, and the chairs are uncomfortable, which makes Euiwoong complain every time they go.

Despite the conditions, Daniel secretly enjoys Hyunbin’s plays, and although acting doesn’t have anything to do with his major, Hyunbin has talent for it. While Daniel simply likes it, Seongwoo is spellbound, no matter how ridiculous the play or Hyunbin’s role are. It’s a miracle that Hyunbin has never noticed how Seongwoo looks at him when the job is done and they’re congratulating him backstage, but at this point, Daniel suspects both of them have just chosen to be blind to the amount of evidences.

Jihoon manages to sit next to Daniel, and falls asleep only after fifteen minutes, dozing off on Daniel’s shoulder. Even if Daniel wakes him up with a hiss every time, Jihoon doesn’t last much, which Daniel is already too familiar with. Jihoon’s ability to fall asleep anywhere, regardless of being tired or not, amazes him. And he’s jealous of it, too.

The downside of having Jihoon’s face squished against his arm is that Woojin notices, and stares at them from his seat, raised eyebrows. Daniel forces a smile that Woojin doesn’t give back, much to his surprise, and then does his best to ignore Woojin’s threatening looks.

By the time the play ends, Jihoon is almost drooling on him, so Daniel pinches his thigh to bring him back. Jihoon startles with a cry of pain, which is drowned by the noise of the final applause, and Daniel laughs at him without shame.

“You’re horrible,” Jihoon protests, rubbing his thigh.

“I’m not the one who slept through my friend’s play.”

Although clapping along with audience, Jihoon rolls his eyes dramatically, “Don’t worry, I will lie about it.”

Daniel wants to ask if this is a daily thing, if Jihoon lies to him too, but their friends are getting up and rushing them to go out, and Euiwoong even gives him a soft push from behind. However, Woojin and Euiwoong decide to disappear to the bathroom while they wait for Hyunbin to leave the theater, and Seongwoo is still in a mesmerized state, stare unfocused and not even looking at them.

“I’m genuinely curious of how Woojin hasn’t found out about us yet,” Daniel comments then, letting Jihoon hook arms with him.

Jihoon hums and asks, “Why?”

“You spend most of your time with me. And you rarely go back to your dorm.”

“He doesn’t know that I’m with _you_. I might as well be dating Seongwoo,” Jihoon replies, quirky, and bursts into laughter at Daniel’s offended expression, as though the mere thought of dating Seongwoo is a sin. Jihoon jabs his elbow in Daniel’s ribs, eyes sparkling, “Are you insinuating I should stay away?”

“Would do you good,” Daniel jokes, and Jihoon frowns at him in false resentment. He’s subdued when Daniel reaches out to caress his hair, down the neck, and Jihoon scoots closer, not caring that they’re surrounded by people. “But I wouldn’t be able to sleep without my new pillow.”

It has been a long time since Daniel saw Jihoon flustered, but he does now, when Jihoon has to draw his gaze away in embarrassment. Perhaps because Seongwoo is with them, Daniel reckons. The moment is broken, however, as soon as Daniel spots Woojin and Euiwoong at the entrance, now with Hyunbin.

Daniel isn’t sure of what takes over him, but as he casts a glance at Jihoon, his mouth moves on its own, “Can we sleep at your dorm tonight?”

It would be a first, after all, so Jihoon can’t hide his confusion. They’ve been avoiding Jihoon’s dorm because it’s smaller, or that was Daniel’s conclusion, although it might have been a matter of inertia. The only advantage is that Jihoon’s bedroom would give them a privacy that they can’t enjoy with Seongwoo and Hyunbin around.

“Yes,” Jihoon accepts after a moment of hesitation. It’s quite a dry reply, eyes scanning Daniel’s face, but he doesn’t add anything more. Only when Daniel tries to break the physical contact between them, upon Woojin approaching them, Jihoon grabs him tighter and dedicates him a cheeky laugh, “Don’t let go, coward.”

Daniel groans, unable to free himself, “Don’t be a brat.”

If he had more time, he could convince Jihoon to not put both of them on a dangerous situation; he doesn’t have such time, and by the time Woojin catches up, Seongwoo is openly snickering at Daniel’s misery. Any suspicions that Woojin could express get suffocated by Seongwoo and Jihoon congratulating Hyunbin for his acting, and Daniel breathes for a moment, thinking he can get away.

He can’t, though, especially because of their plans. They have dinner together at a restaurant nearby, but when it’s time to part ways, Daniel can’t pretend he’s going home with Seongwoo and Hyunbin. He could, but it would be ridiculous, and even before he can consider it, Jihoon is giving him _that_ look, as though he has a secret power to read Daniel’s thoughts.

Both Woojin and Jihoon live in the campus, and though their dorms are in different sections, there isn’t any way Daniel can come up with an excuse. Thus he lies, saying that Jihoon needs help with one of his papers, which Woojin doesn’t buy at all. To begin with, as a Mass communication major, Jihoon barely takes any classes that are related to Daniel’s major (Architecture), at least during his first year.

 The lie just provokes Woojin to grab him by the ear once Jihoon isn’t paying attention, and this, Woojin treating him roughly, has never happened before. As if that isn’t threatening enough, Woojin headlocks him in what seems to be just a game, and whispers into his ear, “Keep it in your pants, dog.”

 

 

 

 

It’s quite late when they arrive at Jihoon’s dorm, which means they have to talk in hushed voices while they stroll through the halls. Daniel can’t overlook the fact that Jihoon starts behaving different in the exact moment they are alone, nervously beaming at him and not disposed to pay attention to Daniel’s usual teasing. But he supposes that Jihoon is tired, since it’s for sure that he was tired during the play.

“Don’t judge my room, okay?” Jihoon pleads as he fumbles with the keys, lower lip jutting forward. He doesn’t wait for Daniel to agree, aware that he is going to toy with him, and pushes the door open.

The room is smaller than Daniel’s flat, needless to say, but not smaller than his bedroom. The bed is undone, which Daniel can’t blame Jihoon for, since his presence there is unannounced, and Daniel finds very interesting that Jihoon has decorated his walls with posters of the same actor that Woojin likes — Nam Joohyuk. It must be a family thing, and the silly thought of the younger versions of Woojin and Jihoon together, gushing about boys, makes Daniel unabashedly smile.

“That’s a bit embarrassing, I know,” Jihoon admits when he notices Daniel staring at the posters. His face falls at Daniel’s silence, and Daniel simply smiles wider, rejoicing in how bothered Jihoon is. “But he’s handsome.”

“More handsome than me, actually,” Daniel agrees. He strips himself from his jacket, entending it over a chair, and plops down on the messy bed with a growl. “I feel threatened. And old.”

Even if one second ago Jihoon looked slightly tense, after Daniel’s complaints he just scoffs. He walks towards the bed, hovering to gaze at Daniel, and whispers, “You’re old, that’s undeniable.”

Jihoon doesn’t oppose any resistance as Daniel pulls him into the bed, both breaking into laughter when Jihoon falls on him. Daniel knows he shouldn’t lie down on the bed without changing clothes first, but Jihoon clearly doesn’t mind and responds his hug, mumbling something that Daniel doesn’t understand. Daniel is expecting him to be calm after such a distressing day, yet Jihoon doesn’t have any intention of cuddling to sleep. He slides out of his grasp, turning to take both of their shoes off so that they can be comfortable. It’s a simple action that somehow turns intimate for Daniel, watching how Jihoon looks after him as though he was a kid, untying his shoelaces and pulling the shoes off delicately.

“Maybe you should lend me a pajama,” Daniel proposes, touching his own shirt for reference, even if it’s likely none of Jihoon’s clothes will fit him.

Daniel undoes the first buttons of his shirt, but Jihoon isn’t getting off the bed to get him comfortable clothes. Instead he’s crawling over him, very serious, until he can cup Daniel’s face. He dips for a kiss, and there isn’t anything odd about it at first, so Daniel just smiles into the kiss and passes his fingers through Jihoon’s hair. This is familiar and satisfying, something they do every day, but Daniel can’t ignore the fact that Jihoon is still stiff, thighs straddling him with a peculiar tension.

“Are you okay?” Daniel whispers, pulling away for a moment.

Jihoon’s facial expression is enough of an answer, and it’s a negative one. However, he nods, and then presses their lips together before Daniel can pry further. Jihoon’s lips move slowly, despite his rushed breath, and mold against Daniel’s mouth with so much care that he almost manages to distract him. But then Jihoon’s hands travel to his chest, there where Daniel stopped unbuttoning his shirt, just to continue the job; his fingers move so skillfully that Daniel doesn’t notice he’s getting undressed until Jihoon tugs at the shirt, asking him to completely remove it.

Daniel breaks the kiss right away, breathless, heart racing, and whispers, “What are you doing?”

Confusion strikes across Jihoon’s eyes, a sparkle of both regret and shame. If one second ago he was merely a bit agitated, now he’s straight up uncomfortable, and Daniel feels his stomach dropping at the idea of being the cause.

Jihoon climbs off him so fast that he stumbles sideways, almost slipping off the bed by accident. Daniel helps him to regain his balance, and even if he can see the doubt in his eyes, Jihoon admits, “I thought you wanted to come over for this.”

That leaves Daniel speechless, but not free from reacting. It takes him a few seconds to be aware of how he’s gawking at Jihoon, mouth open in shock although Jihoon hasn’t been that specific. He doesn’t need to, for Daniel has been fearing they would have to deal with this situation sooner or later. The most troubling feeling is that he can’t pinpoint what he did to make Jihoon assume that Daniel was demanding sex, and not just wishing to spend the night with him.

“I didn’t. I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to, but I didn’t have this in mind,” Daniel clarifies as he sits up, just as troubled as Jihoon. The boy looks away from him, perhaps upset or perhaps only embarrassed, and Daniel can’t help but sigh in resignation. “Jihoon, why are you trying to rush things?”

For some reason, Daniel can tell that Jihoon is going to lie even before he opens his mouth, “I’m not. I don’t see why you would think we’re going fast.”

“Because it’s quite obvious you were forcing yourself,” Daniel bites back, too harshly considering it’s a sensitive topic. He laments his tone right after, because Jihoon stares at him with eyes full of guilt, so he curls a hand around Jihoon’s nape, bringing him closer. Jihoon relaxes thanks to the contact, yet it’s impossible to conceal his discouragement. “Have you ever slept with anyone?”

Daniel knows there are high chances that he hasn’t, but he needs the confirmation. Jihoon doesn’t bother to lie, limiting himself to shake his head side to side, and much to Daniel’s surprise Jihoon isn’t ashamed of that. Daniel should learn one or two things from him, after all.

In silence, Jihoon does what he should have done since the beginning: find the biggest pants and sweater he owns for Daniel, and change clothes himself, jumping into a yellow pajama that must be among the ugliest pajamas Daniel has ever seen. He’s used to it, at this point, and Jihoon is pretty enough to wear anything.

Daniel stretches in the bed, sliding under the covers, and laughs when Jihoon trips over his own feet on his way. The atmosphere is calm again, and Daniel supposes they’re not touching the topic of sex anymore, but he’s wrong. Jihoon turns the lights off, which doesn’t make much of a difference since the light of the lampposts outside reaches the room, and curls up against him. Daniel would usually drift off to sleep in a few seconds, yet he notices that Jihoon is staring at him, and when he stares back, he discovers him furrowing his eyebrows.

Before Daniel can ask what’s wrong, Jihoon blurts out, “How many people have you slept with?”

Daniel stays silent, but Jihoon doesn’t relent, scrutinizing him. His reluctance to answer comes from a guilt that he hasn’t felt before, since there is nothing wrong with sleeping around when you’re single; he feels guilty because the truth is going to diminish Jihoon’s confidence. In the end, he opts for a neutral, “Does it matter?”

Jihoon makes a choked noise, one that would be funny to Daniel if the situation was different.

“That’s the worst answer ever,” Jihoon whines, and then sinks his face into the pillow for several seconds. Daniel doesn’t repress his laughter, which dies off as soon as Jihoon glances at him again. “You prefer to answer _that_ instead of telling me the exact number, it’s awful.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. Why is it a bad thing?” Daniel asks, rolling over on his side so that Jihoon can’t hide from him; he drags Jihoon closer, an easy task since he’s much smaller and lighter than him. “At least one of us knows what he’s doing.”

The joke has a good effect on Jihoon, who is unable to pretend he’s annoyed at the circumstances. He lets Daniel throw an arm around his waist, responding the same way, hands stroking his back. “I hate you,” he murmurs, and both of them snicker.

 

 

 

 

Donghan is exactly Seongwoo’s type.

It’s an omen for disaster, but Daniel has never been good at managing upcoming catastrophes. Donghan isn’t too tall, but he isn’t short either; he has a sweet smile, however, that gives him an air of kindness that is hard to find. And logically speaking, he’s handsome, the sort of guy who wouldn’t need to be set up on a date unless he’s being forced to.

That’s what Daniel suspects happened, if Donghan’s surprise upon seeing Seongwoo is anything to go by. Minhyun has a knack for being a matchmaker, and when Daniel was dating him, he often insisted on going on double dates with Jonghyun and some brand new boy — which Daniel always refused, given his allergy to any activity that could make them look like a couple. The way Donghan discreetly scans Seongwoo from head to toe just proves that he’s impressed, that he wasn’t expecting to be interested in whoever guy was going to show up.

Judging Seongwoo’s sparkling eyes, he’s just as curious, but he’s not disposed to pressure himself into an uncomfortable situation. It makes sense, considering that he decided to accept this plan with the only aim of bothering Hyunbin. Daniel knows that much, even if Seongwoo hasn’t told him, for he can read his intentions from miles away. Seongwoo should be proud of himself, because Hyunbin can barely hide his displeasure once all of them are together.

It has been a long time since Daniel met Jonghyun, and although Jonghyun is nice, he’s also so shy that Daniel feels awkward around him. And Hyunbin is too busy watching Seongwoo to help his boyfriend with his social skills. If he remembers that Jonghyun is his boyfriend, at all, which Daniel would question.

“I didn’t think you would come,” Minhyun says instead of greeting him, and Daniel notices how his smile isn’t merely a sign of happiness, but also it has a peculiar cheekiness to it. “Did Seongwoo convince you?”

Daniel lets Minhyun hug him for a few seconds, even though it’s unexpected and he doesn’t return the hug in time. When they break apart, Daniel whines, “I didn’t even know that I had a choice.”

Minhyun laughs, angling his head to glance at Seongwoo, the one at fault. “Sorry. We’re drinking so at least you will forget you’re bored if you’re drunk,” he assures, patting Daniel’s arm.

But Daniel fears that drinking isn’t enough to deal with them. The atmosphere is friendly once alcohol is present, and Daniel could relax if he wasn’t familiar with everyone’s drinking habits — except Donghan’s— yet his experience keeps him on his toes.

Both Hyunbin and Minhyun have an extraordinary ability to get drunk very fast, while Seongwoo becomes touchy and Jonghyun falls asleep anywhere, no matter if it’s a safe place or not. Much to his luck, none of them seem very keen on drinking enough to pass out, so they just chat, play drinking games for a while, and catch up with everyone’s lives.

It’s peaceful, unlike Daniel assumed, but there are small gestures, quick glares or raised eyebrows that don’t go unnoticed by him. Hyunbin is doing an awful job at concealing his thoughts, and Donghan and Seongwoo have clicked well, so much that they even leave for a while to smoke outside. Daniel isn’t sure if what has created a bundle of nerves in his stomach is Hyunbin’s evident jealousy or Jonghyun’s obliviousness.

“Are you okay?” Minhyun questions him after the second trip Daniel has made to the bathroom. Daniel nods, sitting next to him, and throws his head back on the couch. Minhyun smiles. “I can tell you’re worried about something, so don’t lie.”

 In an attempt to pretend that he isn’t shocked because Minhyun has noticed, Daniel replies, “I’m worried about many things, hyung.”

Hyunbin shoots him a warning look from the other side of the couch, even if Daniel is confused as to what he’s being warned of. He isn’t saying anything out of the usual, and dodging Minhyun’s questions is the only way he can lie to him; he can’t tell him that he’s concerned about Hyunbin not having real feelings for Jonghyun, not when he’s Minhyun’s best friend and his first reaction will be protecting him from Hyunbin.

“I’m going to carry Jonghyun to his bed,” Hyunbin announces then, tense, getting up and throwing an arm around a sleepy Jonghyun. His eyes travel to the main door for a second, however, as if he’s waiting for Seongwoo to appear any moment, and Daniel feels nausea travelling up his throat. “We can leave after that, if you want.”

“You guys can stay over,” Minhyun offers, but Hyunbin is too preoccupied with holding Jonghyun to give a definitive answer.

This is what Daniel dreaded: being left alone with Minhyun. Yet he can only observe how Hyunbin walks away, not having an ounce of consideration for him, probably because he’s too entangled in his own problems. This is the reason Daniel should have told Jihoon that he would meet Minhyun: he would have someone to text now, to ease the anxiety creeping on his skin.

Minhyun waits until Hyunbin and Jonghyun’s voices can’t be heard anymore, and then turns his head to Daniel, serious. “So? You didn’t laugh it off.”

Daniel doesn’t want his heart to race, but it does. Minhyun isn’t closer than he was before, and somehow Daniel feels overwhelmed regardless. Minhyun is still breathtaking, his eyes, his lips, his expression, and that’s beyond dangerous.

“It’s just… it wasn’t a good idea to set Seongwoo and Donghan up.”

“Why not? They fit each other, even as friends,” Minhyun mumbles, confused. Daniel can’t explain the real reason, but Minhyun doesn’t dwell on the topic. “Why did you tag along?”

Daniel hesitates, and then murmurs, “You invited me, didn’t you?”

“But you were supposed to reject the invitation,” Minhyun blurts out. It’s unintentional, because Daniel reads the regret painted all over his face one second later.  “I don’t mean that. I do want you here, and that’s the problem.”

Calling it a problem is an understatement. Minhyun wants him around, and Daniel is smart enough to figure out why, or to not delude himself into thinking that they can be friends. He wishes they could, but Minhyun still has that peculiar way of looking at him, like a small flame from what was, long ago, a fire.

Daniel’s voice trembles as he says, “I’m sorry for everything. I ruined it for us.”

Against all odds, Minhyun scoffs, one corner of his mouth quirking up. At Daniel’s puzzlement, he slides one hand over his thigh, which Daniel supposes is meant to be for comfort. It isn’t, because the moment Minhyun touches him, both of them know they’re stepping into a different territory. Minhyun sighs, and that prompts Daniel to look into his eyes. It’s a mistake.

“I miss you,” he admits, and it’s sincere. “You were a shitty boyfriend, but a good friend. And the sex was great.”

Head spinning, Daniel blinks at him in silence to gain time. It’s difficult to focus on ordering his thoughts when Minhyun is in front of him, when they’re having this conversation for the first time since they broke up. They should have done this earlier, because now that both have cooled down, the bad parts of the relationship have vanished from their memory. It’s a conversation where they have lost perspective of the reality.

“You should still be angry at me,” Daniel reminds him.

Minhyun smiles as a way to acknowledge his statement. He shouldn’t have forgiven Daniel, they can agree on that, because Daniel didn’t leave him with the tact he deserved.

The hand on Daniel’s thigh feels extremely heavy when Minhyun whispers, “Tell me you have never thought about going back together.”

If Daniel lied, Minhyun would notice right away; the truth is unavoidable when someone that knows him so well, so deeply, is asking. Thus Daniel gives in, eyes casted down. “I have.” And then there’s silence, Minhyun squeezing his thigh softly, and Daniel continues, “I’m seeing someone.”

Daniel is unable to interpret how that affects Minhyun, given that his face remains unchanged. Yet he has a vague impression.

“The boy that was with you at Taewoong’s party?” Minhyun pries, slowly removing his hand and placing it on his own lap. “But it isn’t serious, is it?”

It isn’t serious, indeed, because they haven’t discussed it. So Daniel shakes his head softly, with the feeling that he’s betraying Jihoon, as though they shouldn’t need to have a talk to know that they’re exclusive. The hesitation still exists, because Daniel might be assuming it, believing what he prefers.

Perhaps because he’s drowning in emotions, mind far away from Jihoon — and far away from what he feels for him, how Jihoon makes him feel — Daniel answers, “No, not serious.”

And Minhyun leans closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I didn't update in??? half a month??   
> But I have to blame wanna one for having me so busy. Who can manage so many activities? D: Not even fans. I hope you're enjoying the promos too (and all the success T.T)!  
> I still have some comments from last chapter unanswered, but I'll answer them soon, as I catch up! I wanted to post this chapter first because it has been so long since the last update, I hope people haven't forgotten what the fic was about lmao


	9. Chapter 9

Minhyun’s lips feel exactly like Daniel remembers them, even if he doesn’t remember much. They’re thin but firm, and fit against Daniel’s thick lips as though they’re made for it. First it’s Minhyun’s lips on him, soft and careful, and then it’s his hand caressing Daniel’s nape, everything so familiar that Daniel forgets that this, the throwback to a relationship that once existed, isn’t real. That they aren’t together, for perfectly logical reasons, and Minhyun seems unable to remember that he received the worst part of the break-up.

Then Daniel realizes, though it shouldn’t have been that hard, that this is a mistake. Did he love Minhyun? Yes. Does he still love Minhyun? He doesn’t know, not when Minhyun kisses him with the care of someone who indeed needs him, and Daniel’s feelings seem very insignificant compared to Minhyun’s. It’s a false sensation of belonging. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t been the one who initiated the kiss, because letting Minhyun touch him this way is just as misleading.

Whether he manages to push Minhyun away softly or harshly, he isn’t sure, but Minhyun’s expression when he breaks the kiss isn’t ideal. Daniel doesn’t have to explain his reasons, because judging the way Minhyun is looking at him — desperate, like he’s begging Daniel to pity him and stay — he knows. Minhyun’s hand retreats like Daniel’s skin burns, and only then Daniel can breathe again, his common sense returning.

“I have to leave,” Daniel whispers.

“No,” Minhyun says, but it’s an automatic response. He’s surprised at his own words, Daniel can tell, so he simply stands up, ignoring how the panic is obviously taking over Minhyun. He doesn’t know if he’s supposed to acknowledge it, anyhow. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s fine,” Daniel assures, interrupting him. He can’t add anything more, and when he makes eye contact with Minhyun, he feels even more lost. Both of them are aware that _it isn’t fine_ , but Daniel is scared of Minhyun convincing him of the opposite. “I’m going to fetch Hyunbin.”

Daniel doesn’t wait for a reply, and nearly running away, he makes his way to the bedroom. Minhyun doesn’t follow him, which is both unsettling and relieving, and Daniel feels a pressure in his chest that he didn’t feel seconds ago. A few minutes have passed since Hyunbin left, but he was too preoccupied with Minhyun to realize. Therefore he’s not shocked when, after stepping into Jonghyun’s room, he only finds Jonghyun soundly sleeping, no trace of Hyunbin.

He has a bad hunch as he walks back, leaving Jonghyun in peace. Jonghyun’s room is the first one in the hall, and if Hyunbin had exited the house, Daniel and Minhyun would have seen him. There’s only the bathroom left as an option, and Daniel sort of suspects that Hyunbin is inside, door unlocked only due to forgetfulness. That, or something worse.

Anyone else would be shocked upon finding Hyunbin there, hands on his face and evident fear when he notices the door has opened. He isn’t crying anymore, but he has been; it’s even more upsetting to witness the consequences of it, Hyunbin’s puffy lips and eyes, red vets that make him look sick.

Daniel doesn’t need to ask why he’s crying. As they exchange a look, he realizes Hyunbin knows too, as though he’s conscious that it’s almost impossible that Daniel hasn’t figured out his thoughts and feelings. It feels like a small, forbidden confession that should have remained as a secret.

Daniel sighs, rests a hand on Hyunbin’s shoulder, and says, “Let’s go home.”

Hyunbin shakes his head right away, hunching, “I can’t. He’s going to ask what happened if he sees me like this.”

“It isn’t that noticeable,” Daniel lies, perfectly aware that Seongwoo is going to notice. “You look like you drank a bit more than you should have, that’s all.”

Hyunbin believes him, maybe because he wants to, or maybe because he trusts Daniel to the point of not questioning him. Daniel isn’t in the best state of mind himself, yet that instinct of protection must mean that he’s better than Hyunbin, at least, and he acts his improvised role. There’s a certain irony in taking care of Hyunbin and Seongwoo when Daniel is, without a doubt, a mess.

Minhyun isn’t in the living room once they walk through it, but Daniel supposes he must have escaped to the garden in order to avoid them. His only worry is putting distance between, anyway, and forget that Minhyun kissed him. It doesn’t matter where he is. Daniel doesn’t want to say goodbye.

Seongwoo and Donghan are sitting on the entrance stairs, both smoking although Seongwoo theoretically dropped it long ago. Daniel makes a mental note to scold him later, but not now, when the most concerning fact is the way he’s smiling at Donghan, or how Donghan is laughing at something Seongwoo said — likely one of his bad jokes.

Daniel feels Hyunbin tensing up at the view, but Seongwoo notices their presence right away and turns to them, surprised.

“We’re leaving,” Daniel announces, dodging Donghan’s stare on purpose. Not like Donghan would know if he’s lying when he adds, “I’m feeling somewhat sick.”

But Seongwoo is too familiarized with Daniel’s ways, enough to detect the lie even before he opens his mouth. He doesn’t pry, however, as though he intuits that there must be a reason; once he glances at Hyunbin, his expression shifts completely to confusion, and Daniel hurries up to break the moment, stepping forward and hiding Hyunbin behind him.

“Let me get the keys,” Seongwoo says, getting up. “I’m sober enough to drive.”

Daniel doesn’t wait for Seongwoo to come out of the house. With a rushed goodbye to Donghan, who despite everything is polite and kind, he drags Hyunbin to the car.

“I fucked up,” Hyunbin mutters as he lets himself fall in the backseat, head down. Daniel, slipping next to him, is about to reassure him that everything is okay, but then Hyunbin continues, “I don’t like Jonghyun. I tried, but… I just don’t.”

“I know.”

“He’s going to hate me,” Hyunbin sobs. “And Donghan too, because I haven’t been nice to him lately. And hyung…”

“Seongwoo wouldn’t hate you,” Daniel cuts in. He slides over the seats to be able to hug Hyunbin, and his friend almost whimpers at the contact, sinking his head in Daniel’s neck. “I shouldn’t tell you this, but I’m so tired of you two moping and being stupid, so I’m just going to be an awful friend right now.”

Hyunbin, not following his words, detaches from him and stares at him in confusion. Daniel checks that Seongwoo hasn’t come out of the house yet; Donghan is fiddling with his phone, still in the stairs, and Daniel supposes that he’s waiting for Seongwoo so that they can say goodbye or exchange numbers.

Seongwoo and Donghan could work out. Daniel could let that happen; maybe Seongwoo would move on, and so would Hyunbin. But he can’t do that, and this is his last chance to give them a push, although it means betraying Seongwoo’s trust.

“Seongwoo likes you,” Daniel sputters, and Hyunbin stops breathing, eyes wide. “Actually, _likes_ isn’t the perfect word, but using the right word would be taking something away from you two.”

There isn’t anything that Daniel can say besides that, and silence settles between them. Realization doesn’t sink at first, Hyunbin’s face remaining unreadable, but then Daniel squeezes his hand and Hyunbin’s mind seems to run again, a hint of fear in his eyes.

“Just tell him whatever you feel,” Daniel whispers. “If you’re confused, tell him that you are. If you’re sure about something, tell him about it. Whatever it is, it will help him.”

It’s a relief that Seongwoo leaves the house in that exact moment, because that frees Daniel from having to convince Hyunbin. It doesn’t give Hyunbin time to think, to reason how much of a bad idea that is. He swallows the advice, stares at Seongwoo approach the car and stays silent during the whole ride. No one breaks the silence.

 

 

 

 

Despite the initial discretion, as soon as they arrive home, Daniel notes how Seongwoo is planning to corner him. He’s patient, anyhow, and waits until they have heard Hyunbin closing his bedroom’s door.

Daniel doesn’t want to have _this_ conversation, because dealing with Hyunbin was enough; both Seongwoo and Hyunbin on the same night is more than his emotional skills can manage, especially when he should be sinking in his own misery, in his own doubts and mistakes. He’s the one who needs advice or a damn intervention.

That’s why, when Seongwoo walks up to him and grabs his arm, anxiety painted all over his face, Daniel speaks before his friend can say anything, “Minhyun kissed me.”

It’s obvious that Seongwoo forgets what he was going to ask right away, shock replacing his curiosity. The time he takes to reply unsettles Daniel, who is terrified of his own confession, but then Seongwoo says, “Did you kiss back?”

Daniel doesn’t answer, and that’s enough for Seongwoo to understand. “What the fuck, Daniel?”

“It was just for a second.”

“ _Just for a second_.”

Daniel swallows, feeling even guiltier, and mutters under his breath, “It caught me off guard.”

Instead of refuting his excuse, which could be easily destroyed, Seongwoo leads him to the couch, almost forcing him to sit down. Seongwoo doesn’t, however, and stands in front of him with a frown on his face.

Daniel feels the judgment, but none of them are perfect to begin with. That’s probably the reason Seongwoo doesn’t shame him, although he needs a few seconds before coming up with a decent question, “Do you still feel something for Minhyun?”

“I don’t, I think?” Daniel answers, looking up at his friend.  Seongwoo isn’t pleased with the lack of explanations, and raises an eyebrow at him. “I don’t know if I don’t feel anything for him or it’s just that I like Jihoon so much that I don’t even want to think about Minhyun.”

It’s odd to admit that out loud, because Daniel is allowing it to become real and not only a figment of his imagination. Seongwoo’s stare softens, but not much; it’s evident he still wants to tell Daniel that he’s an idiot. That things didn’t work with Minhyun the first time, and there are mistakes that just can’t be fixed. Daniel is aware of all that, and yet…

“The result of that is the same.”

And that’s the worst part. What if he’s making the wrong decision, and his relationship with Minhyun deserves a second chance? Jihoon makes him so happy, but Daniel feels the weight of his responsibilities, the instability and fear of dating someone that has high chances of leaving him.

“I know,” Daniel admits in the end.

Seongwoo opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, and then he manages to conclude, “Don’t give Minhyun any hope.”

But maybe it’s too late for that.

 

 

 

 

Daniel thinks he can forget about the kiss. Truthfully, it wouldn’t be hard: neither he or Minhyun were exactly sober, Minhyun apologized and Daniel tried to not give it more relevance than it needed. In fact, he’s pretty sure that not bringing up the topic is the most polite decision. Minhyun must be embarrassed, and who knows if his actions weren’t based on a momentary impulse.

Or so Daniel thinks. As he rolls out of bed, he finds a few corny texts from Jihoon, who must have been drunk last night too considering the amount of emojis he used, but then his eyes fall on another text. His smile dies off, fear pushing all joy aside. It’s clear what he’s going to find, because there isn’t any other reason Minhyun would contact him so early in the morning.

_07:01 a.m._

_From: Minhyun hyung_

I’m really sorry about yesterday

Can we meet? We should talk it out

 

Daniel barely finishes reading it and flees his room, almost stumbling down as he skids on the floor.  He doesn’t know what he’s running for, but he startles Seongwoo, who is on the couch eating his breakfast; he settles his bowl on the table and stands up, alarmed.

“What did you do?” he asks, as if Daniel has definitely had time to fuck up once more while he was asleep.

Daniel hands him his phone in a rush, and Seongwoo is taken aback until he understands what he’s supposed to do. Then he focuses on the screen, and dictates a clear, “No.”

Daniel blinks, not able to interpret his friend’s semblance, “What do you mean _no_?”

“I mean you should answer that: no.”

All in all, Seongwoo is right. Sometimes the only way to stop someone from clinging onto false hope is cutting ties abruptly. But Daniel is guilty of many things, and one of them is how he treated Minhyun in the past; hurting him the same way this time would make him a horrible person.

Seongwoo must have predicted his train of thought, because he’s shaking his head even before Daniel can retort. Daniel assumes that’s the reason, but then Seongwoo’s eyes move towards something behind him, and Daniel spins around to find Hyunbin looking at them. He’s in his underwear, hair pointing everywhere, and Daniel definitely doesn’t expect Seongwoo to pay attention to anything else except Hyunbin right now.

“What are you talking about?” Hyunbin grunts, almost annoyed. He must be, because Daniel has caused a ruckus while running through the hall, and Hyunbin clearly planned to sleep in.

Perhaps because Seongwoo’s mind isn’t in the right place, he spits the truth, “Minhyun still likes Daniel.”

Silence spreads among them, since Hyunbin is too sleepy to process the confession fast enough. His reaction comes late, expression changing, he smiles for a second as though he thinks he’s being toyed with, and finally his face falls flat.

“He doesn’t. Or he hasn’t mentioned it,” he whispers, confused. He scans Daniel’s face in search of a hint that proves he’s right, and when he finds that Daniel is just staring at him in concern, he gasps, “How do you know?”

“I think Daniel got that impression when Minhyun shoved his tongue into his mouth,” Seongwoo remarks.

Hyunbin becomes pale within a second and releases a choked, “What?”

“It just happened. I didn’t-”

“You didn’t say anything,” Hyunbin reproaches, and although he seems a bit offended because Daniel hasn’t told him, he’s clearly disturbed by the revelation. “Doesn’t he know you have a boyfriend?”

Daniel nods, yet that’s a lie. It’s Seongwoo who slaps a hand on his arm, rolling his eyes, and clarifies, “That’s the problem. Jihoon isn’t his boyfriend. But they act like they are and I’m pretty sure that he’s not going to like this.”

“You’re not helping,” Daniel groans.

He receives a glare from Seongwoo as an answer, “Would you like if Jihoon made out with his ex?”

“I get it, okay?” Daniel emphasizes, shaking Seongwoo’s hand off him. “I would go crazy. But I can't just tell him, right? To begin with I’d have to admit that I hid the fact that I was at Minhyun’s house, and if I lied about that, why would he believe anything else I say?”

The logic of that statement has so much weight that Hyunbin and Seongwoo can only exchange glances. Daniel could have considered that a small win, except in that his phone, still in Seongwoo’s hands, vibrates, and Daniel doesn’t need to ask to know what it is.

Seongwoo lifts his head, stare severe, and says, “I don’t want to be the pessimistic one, but there’s no way Jihoon won’t notice Minhyun is texting you. If it was just a kiss, you shouldn’t be this worried. The longer you take to come clean, the worse it will get.”

 

 

 

 

Daniel doesn’t meet Jihoon until three days later, which only accentuates his guilt. Jihoon has the next two weeks full of exams, and Daniel should have spent the weekend with him as a way to compensate the amount of time they’re going to be separated. Although he shouldn’t bother Jihoon while he’s studying, he decides to pay him a visit one evening after his lessons. Assuming he will be studying in his dorm, Daniel doesn’t expect that it will be Euiwoong who opens the door of Jihoon’s room. Not only that, but Woojin is lying on his bed, a book covering his face, and Jihoon is nowhere to be seen.

Euiwoong has dark circles, which isn’t a surprise given how much dedication he puts on his studies; despite his exhaustion, he still has strength to grunt at Daniel, “What about no?”

Taken aback, Daniel whispers, “What?”

“You heard me. You’re going to be a distraction, so be a good boy and let Jihoon study in peace.”

Woojin removes the book from his face and sends him a malicious grin behind Euiwoong. And Daniel would swear he’s satisfied with the situation, which is quite weird, since Woojin doesn’t have the most relevant information about their relationship. Euiwoong is well aware,  however, and it isn’t that surprising that he’s trying to kick him out.

Euiwoong is about to close the door in his face, but it must be Daniel’s lucky day, because Jihoon comes out of the bathroom right then. Daniel can tell that he hasn’t had much sleep either, because he needs around ten seconds to recognize Daniel, as though there is a possibility that he’s imagining Daniel. When he finally realizes that it’s real, a smile blooms on his face, one of those that leave Daniel breathless; this time another feeling comes with it too, one that isn’t so comforting.

“Gross,” Euiwoong comments, scrunching his face, yet he moves away before Jihoon can run over him.

Jihoon must have forgotten that Woojin is in the room, because Daniel has to hold him down by the hips when he tiptoes for a kiss. In the end, he pretends he was going for a hug, which isn’t less odd but it does the trick.

“Do you want to take a walk?” Daniel proposes, containing the urge of laughing at Jihoon’s dumbfounded face.

Jihoon is intuitive enough to know that it’s an excuse so that they can be alone, so he nods. Daniel grins at his excitement, but he probably looks as foolish as Jihoon does, and it’s quite ridiculous that they have missed each other so much after just a few days.

“Don’t touch my cousin, or you’re dead!” Woojin yells at them, and Daniel sees Euiwoong rolling his eyes before he slams the door shut.

The initial plan was to stroll around the campus, but by the time they leave the room, Jihoon is dragging him to the stairs instead of the elevator. Daniel doesn’t have time to suspect what he’s attempting, because in no time he finds himself pressed against a wall, in the dark, echoing stairs, and Jihoon tugging him down to match their height. Making out where anyone could see them isn’t the best scenario, but Daniel doesn’t care that much in that instant. He feels safe when Jihoon touches him, and he can’t remember why he thought their relationship was unstable, why he doubted about his feelings for Jihoon. He has never been so sure about someone before, but his past self takes over his mind sometimes, and Jihoon doesn’t deserve that.

Daniel doesn’t have any intention of stopping Jihoon, but several seconds into the kiss, Jihoon slides his hands under Daniel’s shirt, and well, Daniel is definitely used to that, but he’s not expecting it. He startles to the point that he hits the back of his head against the wall, and Jihoon breaks apart and bursts into laughter.

“We’re in _public_ ,” Daniel defends himself, but that just makes Jihoon laugh harder.

This time, Jihoon does hug him, an embrace that feels more warm than usual — maybe it’s just the wait what makes Daniel feel this way —  and Daniel accepts the hug with a mixture of pleasure and culpability.

“I’m going to tell Woojin,” Jihoon announces all of a sudden, and upon Daniel’s puzzled silence, he adds, “That we’re dating.”

They are just small words, but somehow they are exactly what Daniel needs to hear. He should throw the real question out there, and the only thing stopping him is that asking Jihoon to be official in this place, a place that smells of humidity and dirt, isn’t very romantic.

“Why did you change your mind?” Daniel asks, passing a hand through Jihoon’s messy hair.

“Because I realized something.” Jihoon beams at him, but it’s full of bad intentions; Daniel wouldn’t have noticed weeks ago, but by now he has learned what that sparkle in Jihoon’s eyes means.  “If he knew we’re together, I could have just kicked them out of my room, which was exactly what I wanted to do.”

Daniel gulps, not missing the insinuation, but again the smartest choice is to dodge Jihoon’s tricks.  “Irresponsible,” Daniel teases.

“Says _you_.”

Daniel shakes his head, though he’s unable to conceal his smile, “You should go back to study.”

Jihoon whines in protest, but Daniel just laughs and pats his butt, ushering him towards the room. He’s going to regret being, indeed, a distraction like Euiwoong said; next time he should text before showing up, since Jihoon doesn’t seem to have his priorities straight.

In the end, Jihoon gives up, but has the impertinence to slap Daniel’s cheek a few times, as though he’s a little kid that isn’t listening well.

“Protect yourself,” he warns, stepping back with a smile. Daniel doesn’t get it at first, but then Jihoon’s eyes travel down to his crotch, and slowly go up to Daniel’s face again. Jihoon’s smile is apparently sweet, yet it’s anything except _that_ , and Daniel can only try to gulp down the knot in his throat. “The important parts. Woojin will come for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think daniel answered to minhyun's text? ;)


	10. Chapter 10

_03:35 p.m._

_From: Woojin_

Haha kang daniel

Hahahaha

You’re dead

 

 

 

 

There are several reasons why Daniel doesn’t set a foot in campus during the whole week. First of all, he should be dedicating some of his time to study, which he doesn’t; but the art of pretending includes not attending classes and complaining about how much he hates staying in his room, so he does exactly that.

That’s not the main reason, needless to say. The fact that it’s beyond impossible to avoid Woojin — who has been sending threatening messages for three whole days — unless he stays away from campus, is what has more weight in his decision. He becomes an expert at ignoring messages, because Woojin isn’t the only one sending him texts that scare him. The difference is that Minhyun’s words are terrifying in another sense. They’re confusing and desperate words, and a part of Daniel breaks further every time he receives another ingenuous, pained question that he has to disregard.

At that point, Daniel is conscious that he can’t get help indirectly from Hyunbin, but what he needs is answers, and he doesn’t want them from Minhyun. It’s risky, considering the amount of bad decision he has made in a row. He has one option left, and that’s Jisung, Jinwoo and Taewoong, who are definitely oblivious of the situation. Otherwise Daniel would have had Jisung showing up at his home to murder him.

Therefore, none of his friends are expecting him to knock on their door on a weekday. Truth to be told, Daniel wishes that they weren’t there, since that would save him the trauma of proving to them, once again, that he’s an idiot. But it’s Taewoong who opens the door, and both of them stare at each other in silence for a few seconds, Taewoong inspecting him like he’s going to point a gun at him any moment.

“Did you get lost?” Taewoong asks, skeptic. “You don’t live here.”

Daniel would usually laugh at the joke, but his state is so brittle that this stupid joke just strucks him right into his feelings. He whimpers, stumbling forward, and Taewoong is so shocked at his reaction that he can only embrace him.

“Wow, okay,” he says, startle. Yet he pats Daniel’s back, allowing him to drown his whimpers into his neck. “You aren’t drunk at ten in the morning, are you?”

“ _Hyung_.”

Taewoong hesitates before pulling back, and analyzes Daniel’s expression but doesn’t comment on it. He holds Daniel by the waist and leads him to the couch, where Daniel sinks like it’s the end of the world.

“Let me get Jisung. Jinwoo isn’t here,” he explains, and Daniel nods, well aware that Taewoong is just as bad as him at consoling people.

Daniel is alone for barely a minute, and then he hears Jisung and Taewoong storming out of one of the rooms, their voices loud and alarmed. He tries to become smaller as Jisung enters the living room, eyes scanning the place until he spots Daniel.

 Jisung was clearly sleeping, judging his swollen eyes and how his bangs are pointing upwards, but he doesn’t sound sleepy as he asks, “What did you do?”

In other circumstances, Daniel would have felt attacked, accused. But Jisung knows he wouldn’t resort to them unless he was in a hopeless situation, so there’s no point in denying it.

“I kissed Minhyun. No, wait, he kissed me,” Daniel blurts out, not ordering his thoughts before talking. “It doesn’t matter actually, we kissed, and now he keeps texting me because he wants to meet. And Jihoon doesn’t know anything, so I can’t meet Minhyun, not even to reject him because what if someone sees us? Or he tells his friends and the word spreads?”

It’s too much information at once for his friends, since the last news they got from Minhyun and him is that they talked during the birthday party. Taewoong gapes at him, while Jisung doesn’t bother to conceal his exasperation, face plunging in his hands as though he’s trying to not lash out at Daniel.

Jisung doesn’t change his position until Taewoong pats his back, and only then he pays attention to Daniel again. “Tell Jihoon, and then check if he wants you to meet Minhyun?” he proposes.

“Jihoon is in his exam week and I’m worried this will distract him.”

“It will,” Jisung agrees with a resigned sigh. “But if you wait more, he will trust you even less. Daniel, you can’t just hide that you kissed Minhyun, that’s not _you_.”

Nothing of what he has been doing represents him, anyhow, and Daniel is lost, like a vital piece of him is missing. Jisung approaches him and sits on the edge of the couch, petting Daniel’s hair to calm him down. Daniel doesn’t have any doubt that Jisung can understand him, even though he can’t relate to his problems.

“What do I do about Minhyun?” Daniel mutters then, and the mere mention of his name makes breathing hard for him.

Despite how serious Daniel is, Taewoong scoffs at the question, “You’re not in love with Minhyun. Not anymore, anyway, there isn’t anything to do.”

Perplexed, Daniel stares at him, because that’s an affirmation he wishes he could make himself. Jisung, on the other hand, nods to show that he thinks the same way.

“Do you know how I can tell?” Taewoong says, getting comfortable next to Daniel. When he shakes his head to indicate that no, he doesn’t know, Taewoong continues, “When you broke up with him, you still loved him and you spent a lot of time refusing to get into relationships that implied something beyond fucking. But you’re trying for Jihoon, and that’s because you have forgotten Minhyun.”

Once again, Jisung hums in agreement, “When have you introduced one of your hook-ups to us? That’s right: never. Jihoon isn’t just that.”

“You brought Jihoon to _my_ birthday party,” Taewoong remarks, almost like it’s offensive. Even if Daniel warned beforehand that he would have company, his friends probably supposed that he was going to back out in time. “Jinwoo was so surprised that he insisted for one whole week that we had to check if you had gone insane. Call your parents and shit.”

Visiting them was the right decision, and Daniel realizes right there and right then, when the urge of smiling tugs at the corners of his mouth. He doesn’t remember when was the last time he laughed. “You guys are ridiculous,” he huffs.

“We aren’t,” Jisung protests. Now that Daniel doesn’t look like he’s going to burst into tears, he dares to pinch his side. “So you really like this boy, then what’s the problem?”

Daniel ponders. If he’s not in love with Minhyun, according to his friends, he can’t tell where his confused feelings are coming from. When Minhyun touched him again after so many months, Daniel wasn’t indifferent, but these feelings weren’t similar to what he feels when Jihoon kisses him. Not the same kind.

Daniel ventures, “I don’t want to hurt Minhyun again.”

It’s a valid fear, considering how Taewoong and Jisung exchange a significant look. Taewoong shrugs, seemingly as a way to tell Jisung that he should be the one doing the talking, and Jisung takes the lead, indeed, patting Daniel’s shoulder so that he looks at him.

“He will be hurt no matter what,” Jisung says, much to Daniel’s despair. “Look, I have talked about you a lot with him. My theory is that he misses you because your relationship failed, but he wouldn’t if you had ended on good terms. He might think he still loves you, but he doesn’t. He’s just not over how badly you messed him up.”

That makes so much sense that Daniel can only groan, throwing his head back against the couch. He comprehends what’s going through Minhyun’s mind. Daniel is a wound in his past, someone he loved and trusted, and the need of getting back together is just a way to redeem both of them. It isn’t a decision based on real, romantic feelings. Daniel feels like that too.

“What do I have to do for him to get over it?”

“You have to figure out that yourself,” Jisung shrugs. “But first tell Jihoon.”

 

 

 

 

_11:43 a.m._

_From: Jihoon :3_

Wanna Netflix and chill?

_11:46 a.m._

_To: Jihoon :3_

I TOLD YOU TO STOP SAYING THAT

_11:47 a.m._

_From: Jihoon :3_

No

But I really want to see you

 

 

 

 

Not falling into Jihoon’s trap requires an effort, and though Daniel tries, Jihoon is too persuasive. He claims that he has a free day before he has to start studying again, and that he shall spend it with Daniel. It’s painfully obvious that it’s a lie, and Daniel should call him out on it, but he’s too weak for Jihoon and most important, he was waiting for an excuse to meet.

Upon noticing how restless Daniel is, Seongwoo asks if he should stay with them, but Daniel ushers him to attend his afternoon classes instead. There is nothing Seongwoo can help with, and Jihoon won’t appreciate his presence if the talk goes wrong. Daniel might need him later, however.

Jihoon arrives just one hour later after convincing him, wearing what could perfectly be used as a pajama, and Daniel laughs at him while Jihoon protests because _these clothes are quite expensive_. After bickering for a while just for the sake of teasing Jihoon, Daniel accedes to let him in.

“You got scammed,” Daniel assures him, which only earns him a punch in the arm. “Do you really want to watch something on Netflix?”

“No?” Jihoon says. He tiptoes to give Daniel a peck on the lips, and then strides around the place until he finds the remote control. Daniel was watching a boring, low quality show, and Jihoon exits it right away with a judging semblance. Despite his actions, he jeeringly adds, “I came here to make out with you, obviously.”

Daniel is sure that Jihoon would fall asleep in the mid of making out, at least today, because he hasn’t rested enough in the last few days. It would be surprising if he survived through an entire episode of a tv show, but Daniel indulges him and lets him choose what to watch. Jihoon accommodates and uses Daniel’s thigh as a pillow, sneaking one hand under his leg and resting his head on it; Daniel responds by caressing his hair, which has Jihoon fighting to not close his eyes in a couple of minutes.

Daniel doesn’t mind when Jihoon finally drifts off to sleep, even if he’s not interested in the show and he’s beyond nervous, anxiety crippling him. He’s supposed to tell Jihoon about his lies, but he’s not ready to see the disappointment in his face or to hurt Jihoon, for that matter. It’s not possible, yet he wishes he could keep Jihoon like this, peacefully sleeping and having Daniel as someone who helps him to be at ease — not someone who could break his heart.

After two episodes, when Daniel can’t feel his legs anymore, Jihoon begins to move again, rubbing his cheek against Daniel’s thigh. With his eyes closed, he mumbles, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. You look cute like this. Not so cute when you’re awake, though.”

Jihoon releases a raspy laugh, still half asleep, and complains, “Mean.”

Jihoon barely stretches out before getting on his knees, and then he throws his arms around Daniel’s neck and leans in with a hum. They kiss once, twice, and then Daniel loses count. Jihoon’s body is warm against him, his lips moving lazily, and it feels more intimate than usual, almost like Daniel shouldn’t let him go further. They have grown used to this, and that’s the dangerous part.

Jihoon moves from his lips to his jaw, with wet, heated kisses that make Daniel’s breath rush, hands gripping the back of Jihoon’s shirt. And then Daniel realizes Jihoon is sitting on him, the underside of his thighs brushing against his, though he doesn’t remember when that happened, and the atmosphere becomes different. When Jihoon quits kissing, and sucks on his neck instead, Daniel wants nothing except touch him, wants Jihoon to kiss him everywhere. He wants to let Jihoon decide how far they can go. But they can’t.

Daniel doesn’t know from where he gets the might to not succumb to Jihoon. Perhaps it’s because the guilt is eating him alive, because a part of him whispers that he should tell Jihoon _afterwards_ , in case Daniel doesn’t have any chance of touching him in the future. And that’s tremendously egoistic, to the point that he becomes afraid of himself and pushes Jihoon away, attempting to make his thoughts vanish.

“I need to tell you something,” he manages to say, feeling as though someone else talked, not him, unable to identify his own voice.

Jihoon must have caught his strange intonation, because he lifts his eyebrows and withdraws, tense. Daniel realizes his own eyes are wet, which could entice questions from Jihoon, but it only makes him reticent.

It’s now or never, Daniel reckons. Thus he talks, but he isn’t aware of what his mouth is sputtering, words piling up in his tongue and flowing out like a cascade. The consequence of his confession is the only thing he registers: how Jihoon’s eyes shift from affable to confused, and then to pure, raw pain. When he finishes the story, excuses included, Daniel doesn’t feel better. Not when Jihoon is in front of him, gazing at him like he doesn’t recognize Daniel.

“When did you meet Minhyun?” Jihoon asks, searching for a breach in his story. A breach that proves that Daniel is kidding. Daniel doesn’t answer, but the regret in his stare is enough, Jihoon comprehending and putting all the pieces together. He sounds strangled, a knot in his throat, as he realizes, “You lied to me?”

Daniel can’t bear looking into his eyes, so he focuses on his lap instead, “Yes.”

“Did you plan it?”

“No, I was there because Seongwoo didn’t want to go alone.” As soon as Daniel explains that, he notices that it’s a justification, or at least it seems so. Jihoon won’t believe it. It doesn’t matter, anyhow, because Daniel should have refused the invitation and not given in so fast. “And then that happened.”

Jihoon moves farther away, slipping over the couch to put more distance between them. Daniel knows what that means, and it terrifies him; he’s about to reach out, but his fingers are trembling and there’s no way Jihoon won’t notice it, so he draws his hand back. He inhales in an attempt to mitigate his own fear, which doesn’t work, but at least it helps him to relax his arms.

When Daniel gathers the courage to glance at him, Jihoon is covering half of his face with his fist, pressing on his mouth as to not say something he shouldn’t.

“That isn’t- If you didn’t plan it, why did you lie?”

That’s the question that appalls Daniel the most, and he can’t bring himself to say it out loud. Instead, he settles for an insincere, “I don’t know.”

Jihoon scoffs, a bitter smile on his face, and blinks faster to hide the wetness of his eyes, “Bullshit.”

“Jihoon,” Daniel whispers, but he doesn’t have anything to retort with. He tries to touch Jihoon’s knee, noticing that he’s about to cry, but Jihoon jerks away harshly.

“Don’t,” he warns Daniel, distant, the hint of a glare flaming in his eyes.

Daniel stills and silence invades the place, both of them staring anywhere except each other. Daniel gives Jihoon the chance to calm down, but in part he stays silent because nothing that comes out from his mouth will solve this. He would be hurt if Jihoon was the one who was in his shoes, and even though he has the urge to beg for forgiveness, it would be selfish. It would condition Jihoon’s will, and Daniel has done enough harm so far to add emotional manipulation to the list.

Daniel can’t tell how many minutes they spend this way, yet when Jihoon speaks again, Daniel immediately wishes he hadn’t.

“Minhyun didn’t peg me as the type to kiss someone that has a boyfriend,” he points out, stare settling straight on Daniel.

The defiance in his tone is proof enough that it’s a question with certain intentions. If Daniel wasn’t so upset, so scared, he would have room to feel surprised at how sharp Jihoon is when he wants.

“I told him we weren’t together,” Daniel mutters.

He’s sure that he hasn’t felt more ashamed in his whole life. Looking up at Jihoon and watching how the revelation wrecks him just reminds him how much of a shitty person he is, how he can’t do relationships at all. He can’t remember, however, why he assumed that it was fine to tell that to Minhyun, or why he thought there were legitimate reasons that explained they didn’t have a serious relationship. He likes Jihoon so much that the thought of leaving him didn’t even cross his mind, but Jihoon leaving him is a possibility now.

Daniel lowers his head, unable to breath, a pressure inside his chest. He can hear Jihoon sob, but he doesn’t dare to glance up. It would be rude, even, because Jihoon is trying to muffle the sound, rapidly drying his tears with the back of his hand.

“What?” Jihoon says, only that, like he might have mistaken Daniel’s words.

Although Daniel knows Jihoon is crying and he could console him, Jihoon will undoubtedly reject him. He would snap at him, and Daniel would deserve it, so he doesn’t even try.

“I thought we weren’t,” Daniel explains, but that’s dumb at best. The ridiculousness of it becomes evident once he has said it, and Daniel curses himself within. “I mean, I didn’t know if we were dating, or we were just… you know, fooling around.”

This time, Jihoon doesn’t need time to react, as if he has been expecting Daniel to spit that sort of nonsense. Yet he still has to brush his tears away, not wanting Daniel to see him cry, like Daniel is a menace and his tears are a weakness. Maybe Daniel is exactly that, even if it’s not on purpose.

“Fuck you,” Jihoon spews, the stability of his voice breaking. He breathes out and in several times, and then he repeats, “ _Fuck you_ , Daniel.  You thought we weren’t together even after I tried to sleep with you?”

Daniel touches Jihoon’s thigh, and much to his surprise, Jihoon doesn’t move. The contact becomes awkward right away, however, because Jihoon is unresponsive and cold, and Daniel retreats. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s what am I to you? Someone you’re fooling around with?” Jihoon adds. His voice trembles and cracks again, and Daniel waits for Jihoon to compose himself. By the time he has recovered his voice, he’s also ready to look into Daniel’s eyes, but he’s anything except confident. “I don’t care if Minhyun kissed you. I can’t hold you accountable for his feelings. But you lied to see him, kissed him, and then hid it until now. Were you even going to tell me?”

Speechless would be an understatement to describe Daniel. He has never seen Jihoon mad, and if one were to judge his outer appearance, they wouldn’t say Jihoon is angry – he looks sad and disappointed. But he’s mad. He’s not planning to forgive Daniel, or to let him off the hook easily, which is understandable. The fact that he’s entitled to that scares Daniel, because Jihoon can disappear out of his life and Daniel won’t have any way to ask for trust, for a second chance.

“You said you don’t love him anymore, but you gave him hopes, didn’t you?” Jihoon asks, and though he sounds softer now, Daniel fears the meaning of that. Jihoon bites his lip, stares at a Daniel, and reproaches, “I’m not anybody’s second choice.”

Daniel’s stomach drops, “You aren’t a second choice.”

“I’m your second choice right now.”

_It’s not true_ , Daniel wants to protest. _It’s not true. You’re important to me, much more than anyone could be_. But his mouth is paralyzed, and so are his feelings. Daniel is overwhelmed, in that instant, when he realizes all he needs to tell Jihoon, yet what a horrible moment is to do so.

“You’re awfully silent,” Jihoon murmurs, like it’s a sentence.

“I don’t know what to tell you.” And that’s the most honest thing Daniel could say. He shouldn’t hide that he’s a mess, that he’s confused and he’s not as mature and versed at relationships as Jihoon supposes. “I fucked up. Minhyun does want to get back together and I don’t. I wish I had a better reason to give you, one that it isn’t me pitying Minhyun, but I don’t have it.”

Even though it’s still a terrible explanation, it’s the truth, and Jihoon sobs harder into his hands. “That makes me feel great, Daniel. I feel so stupid,” he stresses. The second part is for himself, not for Daniel, and he mutters a few more words against his palms before talking to Daniel again. “I won’t get between you t-two if you want to go back to Minhyun.”

“I’m not going to-”

“Sure,” Jihoon cuts him off, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips. His eyes are red, glassy and unfocused. It’s too much for him to handle, just like it is for Daniel. “It’s either breaking things off with him or with me, you know that, right? I don’t want to be that asshole that makes you choose, but it’s just that way.”

Daniel blocks that out of his mind, well aware that processing the ultimatum is going to destroy him in a matter of seconds. Crumbling down in front of Jihoon isn’t a good idea, not when Jihoon is in a worse place than him; if Daniel shows his real emotions, Jihoon may feel that he’s the one to blame for hurting Daniel back. He doesn’t deserve that.

“Do you want to go home?” Daniel whispers after a beat, not acknowledging Jihoon’s warning.

Jihoon nods so fast that Daniel wonders if he should have offered it earlier. He doesn’t want to lose him, however, but to hug him and cry with him and do everything possible to be forgiven. Yet Jihoon is dying for running away from him, and Daniel allows him to do just that. They linger at the door, however, like both of them are expecting each other to have the magical words that will make their problems vanish. But they don’t. At least Daniel doesn’t have them, so all he can do is watch Jihoon leave, no kisses to say goodbye, silence replacing everything they have shared before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this, half asleep, so what can I say besides: when will I finish this fic?   
> Someone pray for my sanity. And for daniel's too, but me first please


	11. Chapter 11

On the third day, Seongwoo gets fed up.

Daniel is unaware of what time is, of how many classes he has skipped or if the world is still spinning around the sun. There could have been a zombie apocalypse and he would be there, unknowing, moping under the blankets. In fact, the only reason Daniel is sure this hasn’t happened is because Seongwoo barges into his room – which means either that Seongwoo is a survivor or the apocalypse didn’t come – and yanks him back by his hair, preventing Daniel from keeping his face sunk in the pillow. One would expect a friend to be sensitive about his feelings, but Seongwoo has played that role during three days on a row and he has run out of patience.

Panicky, Daniel yelps, but that only makes Seongwoo grip him harder. When Daniel manages to open his eyes, sitting up, he finds Seongwoo staring down at him like he’s an insect that he can step on anytime.

“Good morning, prince,” Seongwoo greets him, sarcasm dripping. “Do you know that humans die if they don’t drink water in three days? And considering you have been losing liquids with all that crying, I don’t understand how you are still alive.”

Daniel answers with whining, and Seongwoo rolls his eyes as he shoves a bottle of water into his hands. Only then, Daniel notices how thirsty he is, mouth and throat dry and lips about to crack. It’s a small bottle, so he drinks it whole in one go, and Seongwoo squeezes his shoulder as to reward him.

“You smell,” Seongwoo points out. He tries to caress Daniel’s hair, a gesture that would have been tender if he didn’t move back as though Daniel is going to contaminate his hands. “And your hair is greasy. Your face too, actually.”

Even though bullying him shouldn’t be a strategy, Daniel finds himself torn between laughing and punching Seongwoo in the face. In the end, he settles for a, “Fuck you.”

Seongwoo arches both of his eyebrows, amused, “Yeah, I’m trying to. But it’s hard when all Hyunbin thinks about is how sad you are.”

“Thinking of me should be appealing enough,” Daniel groans, returning the bottle. He’s surprised of being able to make jokes, but maybe it has to do with the fact that he has barely talked in the few last days. Seongwoo doesn’t show signs of finding it odd. “What did you want? Apart from making sure I’m not dead.”

Seongwoo must have been waiting for that question, because he beams at Daniel. “Want to get wasted?” he proposes, like the mere thought of alcohol can fix all of Daniel’s problems. It might be true, or at least Daniel thinks it’s a good remedy right now, so he nods. “I thought so. First take a shower. And you’re attending classes tomorrow or I’m calling Jisung.”

“It’s night?” Daniel asks, still confused.

Seongwoo’s stare turns so judgmental because of that question that Daniel feels ashamed, though he’s aware that he hasn’t even opened the window today and it’s his own fault. “Just move your ass out of bed. Sungwoon and Taehyun are waiting for us.”

 

 

 

 

Spending the night with Sungwoon and Taehyun means to beat his personal record of drinking, which Daniel gladly does. Taehyun has a knack to convince strangers to buy them free drinks, and Daniel needs to forget as fast as possible, so he plays along. It has consequences, of course. At first they drink at a bar, but once they’re drunk Sungwoon insists on going to a club and Seongwoo is stupid enough to support him. It’s a gay club, although Taehyun is as a straight as a board, but the rest of them feel more comfortable there. Daniel doesn’t remember having visited it before, given that trusting his memory isn’t all that reliable.

“Since when were you a party pooper?” Sungwoon asks him after dancing a couple of songs with him, clinging to him. “It’s like you forgot how to dance.”

“I’m dancing _just fine_ ,” Daniel protests, more offended than he should be thanks to the alcohol. It’s the first time in years someone talks bad about his dancing skills, and it’s quite ironical since Sungwoon has praised him for it before.

Sungwoon firmly shakes his head, and then takes some steps back until he runs into someone else’s back. Only then, he starts doing a weird dance, moving from side to side and shaking his knees, and announces, “The Kang moping dance.”

Daniel almost tackles him, laughing, but for some strange law of nature Sungwoon’s small body can bear Daniel’s strength.  Daniel finds out that hugging Sungwoon isn’t enough, because he needs to be hugged back, and Sungwoon can barely encircle his frame. Though that might have something to do with being drunk.

“I want to die. I’m such a waste of a man,” Daniel mewls, voice muffled by Sungwoon’s shoulder.

“I knew you were moping,” Sungwoon accuses. However, he pats his back in sympathy, as though he’s used to dealing with guys like Daniel. He isn’t, Daniel knows that, because Sungwoon runs away from anything remotely serious when he’s sober. “All this because of that pretty freshman?”

A gasp comes out of Daniel’s mouth, and he jumps away from Sungwoon’s arms, “He was my _boyfriend_. Not a pretty freshman.”

“He’s still a pretty freshman, idiot.”

“Shut up,” Daniel warns him. “You’re not allowed to say Jihoon is pretty.”

The music becomes too loud for Daniel to hear Sungwoon, but his lips form a clear, recognizable _Jihoon is pretty_ , followed by a wicked smirk. Sungwoon scurries away between two men that are twice his size, and Daniel loses him in the blink of an eye.

Daniel can’t tell if he catches Sungwoon or not. The next thing he’s conscious of is how he’s in the bathroom, vomiting, Taehyun’s hand grabbing him by the hair so that he doesn’t accidentally shove his head into the toilet – or making sure he doesn’t fall asleep hugging it. Daniel has been in both situations before, during his first two years of university, and he can’t believe he’s back to the danger zone.

“I’m never going out with you three again. Worst combination possible,” Taehyun grunts. “I don’t even know where Sungwoon went.”

Although Daniel makes an attempt to answer, it’s hard when he’s being assaulted by another wave of nausea. By the time he’s sure he isn’t going to puke anymore, the pain of his knees has increased to the point he won’t be able to dance during a whole week.

“Where are we?” Daniel asks.

“At your home,” Taehyun replies after a moment of silence, like he’s pondering if the question is serious. He lets go of Daniel’s head, allowing him to sit back, though the only reason why he doesn’t fall is because his back rests on the door. “God, you can’t even recognize your own bathroom.”

Although Taehyun is worried about him, Daniel convinces him to leave once he’s capable of standing on his own. Before heading to his room, he checks on Seongwoo, who passed out in the couch and is going to receive a scolding from Hyunbin for it. His friend mumbles nonsense to respond to his questions, so Daniel gives up quite fast. If there’s something Daniel remembers about last night – apart from Sungwoon dancing like a clown – is Seongwoo screaming that he was going to confess to Hyunbin. There’s a small chance that it was an idea caused by the alcohol, but if he meant it, might as well let him get enough rest before the storm.

 

 

 

 

Daniel doesn’t attend classes in the morning, since Seongwoo is dead and can’t force or threaten him. But he does on the next day, eyes and instinct very alert, and looking as bad as if he had partied two days on a row. His fatigue isn’t the worst to deal with, but the thought of running into Jihoon is. Telling himself that he isn’t afraid of an encounter is useless; he is, yet that doesn’t mean he isn’t looking forward to it.

“Stop,” Seongwoo orders him around midday, tired of Daniel not listening to his stories. They have just left the library, since Hyunbin needed to pick up a few books, and Seongwoo has ended up carrying most of them – to win points, Daniel supposes, though Hyunbin can see through him now that he has vital information about his feelings.

“Why do you even want to talk to him? Are you having an episode and forgot that you two fought?” Hyunbin asks, eyebrows furrowed.

It’s an accusation, just nicely worded. Hyunbin is reminding him that he’s planning to approach Jihoon without having fixed anything yet, and he’s right.

“I just want to make sure he’s okay,” Daniel mumbles in the end, biting back other replies that could be hurtful.

Hyunbin throws a skeptic look at him, “Then do that. Only that.”

“Yeah, don’t apologize again,” Seongwoo agrees, and ignores the glare he receives from Daniel. Both of them are aware that he’s just playing along to get on Hyunbin’s good side. “You’re a blabbering idiot and that’s dangerous.”

Daniel agrees, but for his own pride he doesn’t express it out loud. Still, he hopes it can happen casually and he doesn’t have to force a meeting with Jihoon, but after lunch he’s pretty much desperate. It’s not his greatest idea, but Daniel finds himself waiting for Jihoon to come out of his last lecture of the day.

Jihoon isn’t expecting him, because there isn’t any reason to do it. But as soon as he steps out of classroom, animatedly chatting with one of his classmates, his eyes meet Daniel’s and his face falls. Daniel doesn’t want to interrupt, in case Jihoon isn’t receptive in the first place, so he lingers around until Jihoon and his friend part ways. Only then, when most students have left the place, Jihoon spins on his heels and walks up to him with a frown.

A bad hunch invades Daniel, regret seeping into him as he inspects Jihoon’s face. He isn’t happy to see him there, that’s for sure, and it’s revolting for Daniel to realize that he himself is happy, even if they’re on bad terms and even if it’s just for a second.

Jihoon doesn’t greet him. He doesn’t smile at him. And Daniel can’t say that he’s shocked when Jihoon only opens his mouth to ask, “Did you talk to Minhyun?”

This wasn’t supposed to happen this way. Daniel’s aim was to avoid Minhyun’s topic and tell Jihoon to not worry about it; he was going to ask if Jihoon is feeling better, but it’s too evident he isn’t. He looks exactly like the last time they saw each other: as though he had been crying for hours.

Daniel breathes deep and begins, “No, I-”

“Then we don’t have anything to discuss,” Jihoon interrupts him, breaking into a bitter smile. He slants his head to the side, staring at Daniel’s face as to decipher if he can understand why, and when he doesn’t find the answer, he turns around without a word.

“Jihoon,” Daniel calls, trying to grab his arm. Jihoon is fast, however, and he is out of his reach in the blink of an eye. Yet much to Daniel’s surprise, he does look back at him, a chance for Daniel to talk.  The only thing that comes out is, “Don’t go.”

If Jihoon suffers a moment of weakness, it goes unnoticed.  He scans Daniel from head to toe, which isn’t a good sign: Daniel looks like he hasn’t slept or showered in days, even though he has done the latter at least.

“You went out the other day,” Jihoon points out, dry. Daniel has no idea how Jihoon knows that, or how that is relevant to their conversation, his confusion must be easy to read. Jihoon’s face becomes even more judgmental as he explains, “News travels fast. I see you’re having a hard time.”

That leaves Daniel speechless, mouth open and head spinning. Of course Jihoon would suppose that Daniel went out for fun, and not to get shitfaced and forget. Would Jihoon believe him if Daniel told him the real reasons? Perhaps, but there’s also a chance he would think Daniel is a coward for facing his issues in such way.

“You’re assuming too much, Jihoon.”

Not believing him, Jihoon only shrugs, and before leaving he adds, “Actions speak louder than words.”

 

 

 

Daniel doesn't sleep much that night, but at that point he's getting used to it. Next morning he sits with Sungwoon on the grass instead of attending classes, listening to Sungwoon's stories of where he went during that night and how Daniel should absolutely keep it a secret. Sungwoon doesn't fail to remind him that he's whipped and fucked up, and that moping on campus isn't going to improve his mood.

Not only is he right about that aspect, but also about how Daniel should have stayed at home sleeping. His original excuse was that he needed to breathe some air, and he indeed did, yet he soon realizes he could have breathed that air in any other part of the world without risking his physical well being.

By the time this idea crosses his mind, he has been smashed against the grass, face down, and both hands held behind his back. He doesn't need his assaulter to speak to know that it's Woojin, since it isn't the first time Daniel finds himself confined in this same position, except the strength used on him varies greatly this time. Sungwoon doesn't bother to help him, chuckles at them for a second but goes silent as soon as Woojin stares at him - Daniel understands how it feels to receive one of those looks.

"Caught you, asshole," Woojin announces, pride and satisfaction dripping off his voice. "The only thing you're good at is hiding, isn't it?"

Daniel can barely breathe, for Woojin is doing a great job at squashing him, and he manages to spit a mere, "Woojin."

That's a bad move, because Woojin didn't intend for him to answer his question. He shoves Daniel's face into the grass to shut him up - which works too well, because Daniel feels the taste of grass in his tongue.

"I can't understand you, don't try," Woojin shamelessly lies. "Didn't I tell you my cousin was off limits?"

Since it's impossible for Daniel to refute that, it's Sungwoon who speaks, probably because he loves butting in and not because he plans to help Daniel. "Not really, according to him. They were already dating by then."

The silence that follows is difficult to interpret, given that all Daniel can see is green. Maybe Woojin was oblivious of how long they have been hiding the relationship from him, and the revelation leaves him shocked enough for him to need a moment. That theory is proven false, however, when Daniel hears someone else say, "I'm sorry, is there any problem?"

Woojin lets go of Daniel's head, but doesn't show any intention of freeing him completely. There are three students in front of them, from a group that was chatting and eating . They probably thought that it was an actual fight - Daniel is sure that it is - even if Sungwoon is just chilling and enjoying the spectacle.

"Yeah, but we're fixing it," Woojin explains without missing a beat. A sane person would be embarrassed after getting called out, yet Woojin just continues, "He's my best friend and he's dicking my cousin, so there's that."

Daniel isn't coy, but watching the students' expressions makes the blood rush to his ears. The only consolation is that they look as embarrassed as he is, judging how they all avoid looking at Woojin. One of the girls glances at Sungwoon, looking for the confirmation that Daniel isn't going to be murdered right here and right now, and much to Daniel's despair Sungwoon gives them a thumbs up and an idiotic smile.

That's how all Daniel's possibilities of salvation die. As soon as the other students turn around, Woojin doesn’t waste a second to sink Daniel’s head back in the grass, ignoring his protests.

“I didn’t even have time to kick your ass for dating my cousin and I already have to kick your ass for making him cry?” Woojin shoots at him. The playful tone is gone, seriousness replacing it, and Daniel is scared for the first time. Because Woojin knows that they fought, though not the reason; and overall, because Jihoon cried in Woojin’s presence. He’s so hurt that he resorted to his cousin for comfort, and that must have been his last option. “What the fuck did you do?”

"You made the boy cry?” Sungwoon asks with a gasp, which only encourages Woojin’s aim. When Daniel doesn’t deny it - because he can’t - Sungwoon whistles, impressed. “It’s worse than I thought.”

"Shut the fuck up," Daniel grunts, yet that seems to amuse Sungwoon. Not Woojin, however.

Even if patting his head should be a calming gesture, Woojin touches his head like he’s forgiving his life. “I don’t want to sound like this is The Ring,” Woojin says with a composure that is anything but disturbing. “But you have seven days. If Jihoon isn’t happy and merry and vomiting rainbows by then, you’re done.”

 

 

 

 

Daniel doesn’t take action immediately, like anyone else would have. Woojin’s threat had the desired result, which Daniel supposes was to scare him enough for him to man up, yet it isn’t until the fifth day that he finds the will to do it.

It doesn’t come off as a surprise that Minhyun ignores his messages. Daniel deserves it, given that he has been doing precisely that to him during almost three weeks. Chances are high that whatever Minhyun wanted to discuss has transformed into simple resentment for him, and Daniel’s sudden change of mind is fishy at best.

Daniel hates forcing the situation, but he owes explanations and closure, and at the same time it’s the only thing that Jihoon has asked from him. It feels almost intruding to show up unannounced, and Daniel is indeed not welcome there, judging Jonghyun’s face when he opens the door.

Jonghyun has more reasons to despise anything that has to do with Daniel. Even though Hyunbin has assured them that they broke up on good terms, Jonghyun isn’t dumb, and he could suspect that someone meddled in that decision – who else but Daniel would know about Seongwoo and Hyunbin’s feelings?

“Minhyun isn’t here,” Jonghyun tells him before Daniel can even order his thoughts to speak. And he’s smiling one of his nice signature smiles, but it’s just a way to signal that he’s lying. “You shouldn’t come back though.”

It’s not an unexpected rejection, yet Daniel wonders if it’s Jonghyun who doesn’t want him here or it’s indeed Minhyun. Even if it would make sense in both cases, Daniel has a hunch that Minhyun wouldn’t resist despite not replying to his texts.

Upon feeling the upcoming headache, Daniel presses his forehead with the heel of his palm, “Jonghyun, please. I’m trying to make things better.”

“I don’t doubt you’re trying, but I doubt you can,” Jonghyun says, so assertive that Daniel stares at him in shock. Jonghyun always softens his words, and the lack of it is the only proof of his anger towards Daniel. “You might try and end up sleeping with him instead. And then you will freak out and leave. That’s what you always did.”

Daniel has a few arguments to refute that, mainly the fact that he’s not that person anymore because he’s not in love with Minhyun. Therefore there aren’t any motives for him to dive into panic.

“I don’t want to argue with you, Jonghyun,” Daniel sighs, waving his hand in defeat. Rather than getting Jonghyun’s approval, Daniel sits down in front of the entrances and wipes his phone out. “I’ll wait outside for him to arrive.”

It isn’t the smartest decision, and Daniel only realizes when Jonghyun closes the door without thinking twice, leaving him locked out. It was just a trick for Jonghyun to let him inside, because Daniel isn’t that confident, just a little bit desperate. He begins to consider going back home after ten minutes, and maybe visit tomorrow again or check Minhyun’s schedule and look for him in classes. Yet the universe must not hate him that much, because right when he stands up, Minhyun comes out, his face contorted in disapproval and eyes searching for Daniel.

“Get in, I’m sorry about Jonghyun,” he apologizes, and Daniel can hear Jonghyun screaming about how he’s not sorry himself.

The last thing Daniel wishes to do is to share space with Jonghyun. He appreciates his own life. “It’s fine,” Daniel muses. “Can we talk somewhere else? There’s a café nearby.”

Minhyun hesitates for one second, not understanding where that offer is coming from. Daniel doesn’t clarify it, however, so Minhyun nods, “Sure, let me get my stuff.”

It’s stupid to tell Minhyun that there’s a café when it’s next to his own house, and they keep a deep silence all the way to the place, though Daniel isn’t certain it’s an uncomfortable one. Perhaps a resigned one.

Minhyun orders for him, still remembering his preferences – Daniel hasn’t changed since then, at least not when it comes to the amount of sugar he likes in his coffee – and they sit at an isolated table, hands hugging their respective cups.

Minhyun gazes at him, overflowing with expectation, yet Daniel has forgotten the whole speech he had ready. It’s different to write down his thought from having Minhyun looking at him like this – like he holds all the power and both of them know it. Despite that, Minhyun must be aware that Daniel isn’t feeling very ingenious when it comes to words, because soon the tension disappears from his shoulders, resignation blossoming.

“Why did you avoid me?” Minhyun asks, staring into Daniel’s eyes.

That’s not the first question Daniel would have asked if he was in Minhyun’s shoes. But again, Daniel is sure he deserves something worse than a peaceful conversation. 

“Because I was scared,” Daniel confesses, gripping his coffee harder. It’s just an ornament, anyhow, given that it’s impossible to drink something when he’s positive he will throw it up. “I have a boyfriend, Minhyun.”

Daniel would swear Minhyun scoffs, but he can barely hear it; he lowers his head, bangs falling over his eyes, and silence reigns for a while. Minhyun lets go of his coffee, fingers tapping on the table. “You told me it wasn’t serious,” he points out.

It’s a relief that Daniel doesn’t have to deal with whatever is in Minhyun’s eyes. It’s easier this way. “I know what I told you,” Daniel mutters. He has trouble to swallow the knot in his throat. “I think you can guess why I said that.”

Daniel is right, for Minhyun knows every single of his flaws like the back of his hand; he has experienced them himself, and there isn’t any way to learn more efficient than that. When Minhyun lifts his head, Daniel realizes that he’s not upset.

 “Yes,” he agrees, a weak frown on his face. “It still sucks.”

Daniel gulps, trying to meld with Minhyun’s mood. He seems to be making an effort – for what, he doesn’t know. “Did you really not move on?”

“I’ve dated a few guys.” Minhyun makes a vague gesture with his hand. “But in the same way you did. Or used to. You know how it goes.”

He does. It’s about using a replacement for someone who can’t be replaced, and then hating yourself for it, hurting people that aren’t at fault. And overall, it’s about not learning from his mistakes.

Except Daniel isn’t that walking disaster anymore. He doesn’t sleep around to forget his feelings for Minhyun, because he already forgot them, and he doesn’t beg him to get back together only to change his mind two days later.

For once, Daniel does what he should have done from the beginning. Minhyun stares at him, puzzled, as he stands up to slide on the seat next to him. His first reaction is to startle at the closeness, but when it’s obvious that Daniel isn’t going to touch him, he visibly loosens.

Daniel didn’t rehearse this, though he did consult Seongwoo about what would be too much to confess. That was the issue the last time: Daniel didn’t have a filter, so Minhyun mistook his words.

“I just want you to know that I loved you, even if I could never say it. You deserved someone better than me,” Daniel whispers, though he means to sound firm and confident. Minhyun didn’t suspect that was what Daniel wanted to tell him, judging how stunned he is, analyzing Daniel as though he has lost his mind. Maybe he has, but it has been a long time since he felt this sane. “You’re amazing and I bet I can get a dozen of guys to line up for you in five minutes. Even to fight for you. You’re sweet, intelligent, mature, and you’re _so good_ in bed.”

That’s inappropriate, very different from the touching speech he should have prepared, but Daniel notices only when Minhyun bursts into laughter.

“Don’t laugh, I’m serious!” Daniel protests, and Minhyun covers his mouth in a bad attempt to stop his outburst. Instead of succeeding, he winds up dragging Daniel with him, both of them grinning as if it’s actually funny. It’s just an effect of being nervous. “Whoever you date is going to be so lucky. I hope you can laugh together at that Daniel that was so stupid that he let you go.”

Laughter dies after that and Minhyun sucks in a breath. His gaze roams around until it falls back on Daniel, in which Daniel thinks it’s a way to gain some time to process the situation.

“You’re a good person, Daniel,” Minhyun mutters, eyelids fluttering close. “Even with all your issues, you still made me happy.”

After all the bad memories, it’s difficult to remember that once they were happy with each other. Daniel reckons that not their whole relationship was appalling, it was just in the end when Daniel became too afraid and Minhyun spiraled along.

“You can make that boy happy too,” Minhyun adds then, sincerity in his eyes. When he detects the panic on Daniel’s face, a proof that he isn’t ready to deal with this talk, Minhyun merely sends him a sweet smile. “Jihoon, was it?” Daniel only manages to nod, feeling like a kid, and Minhyun tilts his head to the side. “I should apologize to him one day.”

“He doesn’t blame you,” Daniel replies, and doesn’t miss the confusion in Minhyun’s face.  

“I was at fault. I invited you. I kissed you. What kind of story did you tell him that he blames you for it?” Minhyun pushes his coffee aside, more interested in Daniel’s explanations than anything else. Daniel bites his lower lip, trying to figure out how to not sound like an inept; which he was, because he allowed Jihoon to gather his own conclusions. Minhyun seems to understand, however. “You’re a fool.”

“I get that a lot lately,” Daniel admits, aware of the blush creeping on his face. It isn’t the same to be called an idiot by his friends because they do it too often, but Minhyun must have insulted him less than five times in _years_. “I thought defending myself would make me a bigger asshole.”

The most shocking part is that, instead of consoling him, Minhyun rolls his eyes and says, “When someone loves you, they _want_ to believe you. You’re both an asshole and a fool.”

“Wow, _thanks_.”

“You’re welcome.” Minhyun jokingly pats his back, though Daniel can see how he’s repressing the urge to laugh at him. Retreating, Minhyun checks the time on his phone, and Daniel spots the crazy amount of notifications he has. He pretends he hasn’t seen anything once Minhyun focuses on him again. “I should leave before Jonghyun has a heart attack.”

Minhyun sips his coffee one last time, and then takes his jacket from the empty seat, ready to flee. Daniel hunches back and murmurs, “How much does Jonghyun hate me now?”

“Enough to let you freeze to death outside our house,” he confirms, snickering. Minhyun doesn’t wait for him to complain, and pets Daniel’s hair for a second, fingers lingering. Daniel supposes a hug would have been excessive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who wants to bet that I will (won't) finish this in 3 chapters :3


	12. Chapter 12

Even though his conversation with Minhyun lasts less than one hour, it leaves Daniel emotionally drained. He finishes his coffee, alone, mulling over what small details that shouldn’t be overthought. He checks Jihoon’s instagram for the fifth time today, no matter that he hasn’t posted anything in two weeks, and then replays in his head a thousand times their last encounter.

There’s something unreal about having given Minhyun his closure. It’s a closure that applies to Daniel too, and it’s all because of Jihoon. Daniel could have fallen into the same mental trap again, but Jihoon is his net, and Daniel isn’t afraid to fall anymore, because he’s not going to hit the ground. There’s always a chance Jihoon won’t save him from it one day, but Daniel shouldn’t be concerned about it. He has to do what’s right, and keeping his feelings within is just a proof of his own cowardice.

Daniel swipes his finger down to Jihoon’s name, even if the symbol informing that he’s online makes him vacillate. He can’t avoid the fear anyhow, but he can ignore that it exists. There are many things he wants to tell Jihoon, however none of them are meant to be sent through text, so his words wind up being simple.

 _I met Minhyun, can we talk?_ he types before he can regret his own actions, and closes his eyes as he presses on the screen to send it.

The message is marked as _read_ right away, as though he has been waiting for Daniel. Jihoon doesn’t answer.

 

 

 

 

“You’re obsessing over it,” is Seongwoo’s sentence. “Maybe he needs time. Plus you’re so dramatic, that text was shit. You should have said something more promising.”

An ice-cream has never tasted so bitter, but at least Seongwoo paid for it. It was meant to be a way of shutting Daniel’s whining down, which so far hasn’t been effective at all.

“Needs time for what?” Daniel insists, pushing the door of the shop on their way out. “And it was clear enough. He knows what the purpose of meeting Minhyun was.”

It must have sounded like a dumb justification to Seongwoo, because he waves the spoon like it’s a knife to threaten Daniel. “You don’t have any right to complain. Suck it up.”

“You suck it up,” Daniel childishly retorts, though it’s just to prevent himself from sulking. Seongwoo is right, and that’s what Daniel refuses to admit. “When are you going to tell Hyunbin that you want into his pants?”

Seongwoo quirks his eyebrows, glare going straight into Daniel’s heart, and tugs his sleeve so that he walks faster. It was supposed to be a quick escapade, anyway, because Seongwoo has his head set on the amount of assignments he has to finish. “When I find something better to say that _I want into your pants_.”

“He thought you were straight until Minhyun set you up with Donghan,” Daniel reminds him, and then laughs out loud at how ridiculous that was. Seongwoo could have drooled over Hyunbin a hundred times and Hyunbin would have still been oblivious. “He doesn’t understand insinuations, you should be direct.”

Seongwoo opts for ignoring him, vaguely gesticulating, and Daniel drops the topic. They talk about insignificant things instead, like Seongwoo’s new annoying partner in class or how they suspect Hyunbin is cheating in exams because his grades have improved too much this year. By the time they arrive home, Daniel has successfully gotten his mind off Jihoon, even if it’s just temporary. He feels ready to resume his life, stop avoiding almost everyone he knows and accept the reality: that their relationship is in Jihoon’s hands now, and he can’t do anything about it.

However, he still checks his phone at least twenty times before heading to bed and putting the phone aside. He has a few messages from Woojin demanding to be updated, which means Jihoon is refusing to do so and Daniel is safe for now. Knowing for a fact that both of his roommates wouldn’t bother him while he’s sleeping – especially because he hasn’t been getting much sleep and they’re worried – Daniel is quite shocked when someone timidly knocks on his door.

He wonders if he should pretend he’s not awake, but in the end he sighs and says, “Yeah?”

It’s Hyunbin who steps inside, with so much hesitation that it unsettles Daniel, propels him to sit up in the blink of an eyes. Hyunbin takes a moment to analyze Daniel’s expression, not hiding his intentions, and once he finds whatever he’s looking for, he begins. “So, Jihoon and Euiwoong are at the door. They didn’t ring or anything but… they’re here for you, obviously.”

Daniel doesn’t react right away, but when he does, he jolts out of bed so fast that he trips over his own feet, entangling himself in the sheets. Hyunbin has the decency of not laughing at him, and even lends him a hand so that he can get up. He doesn’t comment on the fact that Daniel’s legs tremble as he walks out of the room, or on how panicky he looks. Hyunbin is a sensitive person, unlike Seongwoo, who would have already made fun of him.

But Daniel can’t help it. The last time he saw Jihoon was to get rejected, and Jihoon was cold, just like his silence has been after Daniel’s messages. He doesn’t see any reason why he would appear uninvited at this time of the night, and less with Euiwoong hanging off his arm. With these concerns in his mind, Daniel doesn’t remember he’s only wearing pants or that he looks as bad as he had come back from the dead. There’s a positive side to it, he supposes.

If Daniel wasn’t so nervous, he would find hilarious the fact that he can hear two voices bickering outside even without opening the door. He could eavesdrop, but that would require a patience that he lacks, and he might regret this moment of bravery he’s having.

It’s odd how shocked Euiwoong looks when he spots Daniel, as though standing in front of someone’s door didn’t imply the option of being caught. On the other hand, Jihoon is simply scared, an emotion so raw that it would be impossible for him to conceal it. He looks smaller than usual, despite being next to Euiwoong, and when he meets Daniel’s eyes, there isn’t any sign of recognition, like Daniel is a stranger to him.

Uncomfortable, Euiwoong coughs and then forces a smile, which doesn’t look too different from his sincere smile. He’s good at that. “I brought you a loser that won’t stop grieving,” he announces, pushing Jihoon forward. Jihoon stumbles inside, and Daniel has to step aside so that he doesn’t crash against him, but he still leaves his arm there to make sure Jihoon doesn’t fall. Euiwoong sounds more honest as he adds, “Have fun.”

Jihoon is gripping Daniel’s arm for balance, but Daniel would swear that fun is the last thing Jihoon is having as he watches Euiwoong turn around and abandon him. And then he glances up at Daniel with hesitation, as if he’s about to get bitten and shredded into pieces.

Daniel gulps before speaking, but his voice still comes out strained, “You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.”

As redundant as it might be, it catches Jihoon off guard, because he sends a confused look his way. He regrets it the next moment, tearing his gaze away from Daniel as though it could burn him; Daniel can’t blame him, because he shares and suffers the same feel. One wrong step and Jihoon might not want to see him again.

“We can’t just not talk,” Jihoon mutters, not bothering to deny that he’d prefer to be somewhere else.

Dwelling on the implications of his words would discourage Daniel completely, so he suppresses them and asks, “My room?”

Jihoon gives him a curt nod, and despite how dry the gesture seems to be, Daniel doesn’t descend into immediate panic. If Jihoon is half as paranoid as Daniel himself is, he shouldn’t expect any tenderness from him.

That’s why he leads the way to his room without protesting, no words exchanged even once they’re inside. Jihoon shuffles by the door at first, waiting for permission to sit on the bed, and Daniel can barely breathe out the invitation. But there’s only silence when Jihoon carefully sits down, and Daniel feels ridiculous because he’s overflowing with anxiety, wondering if he’s allowed to sit too or Jihoon needs space - though it’s Daniel’s own room.

Jihoon stares down at his shoes instead of at Daniel, and perhaps because of that Daniel manages to regain power over his own legs and takes the space next to him.

“I thought you wouldn’t-”

Daniel doesn’t finish the sentence because Jihoon jerks his head up, eyes full of guilt since both of them know what Daniel is going to say. However, Daniel isn’t expecting Jihoon’s mouth to form a loud, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh my god, don’t apologize,” Daniel blurts out, eyes widening. Jihoon apologizing wasn’t part of any plan, because it’s everything Daniel fears: that Jihoon is feeling somewhat guilty about the whole ordeal. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t have to answer me at all.”

Jihoon doesn’t agree, if the way he puckers his lips is anything to go by. His silence disconcerts Daniel, because he’s sure Jihoon has a lot to say, but he choose to keep it to himself. They aren’t here for this. That leaves Daniel as the one who has to direct them, and he is clumsy at emotions, especially when it’s about someone so important for him.

“Do you want me to tell you about it?” Daniel asks, doubtful. All of sudden, Jihoon is hard to read, head casted down, or perhaps Daniel is too anxious to do so. “We won’t be able to even be friends in the near future. He’s fine with that. And I am, too.”

At first, Jihoon seems disposed to listen to him, but before Daniel can continue, he shakes his head.

“I don’t need to know,” Jihoon assures him, meeting his eyes with a hint of vacillation. Daniel doesn’t understand it, because they’re here to have a conversation about _that_ , and Jihoon pushing the topic aside should be a bad presage. “Whatever you talked about, it can stay between you two. That’s what I’m asking from you. That you don’t have to explain yourself because I can trust you did the right thing.”

It’s a novel concept for Daniel. No explanations and no justifications, which was what he was ready for. He intended to be open and honest towards Jihoon, even to recreate the whole meeting with Minhyun if it was necessary, yet there Jihoon is, not wanting any of it. And Daniel should be grateful for that, a tiny part of him reminds him, because Jihoon is trying to trust him blindly. Even if he doesn’t deserve it.

Daniel releases a shaky breath, too overwhelmed to speak. Much to his surprise, Jihoon slides a hand over the blankets, tentatively grazing Daniel’s fingers. It’s only then that Daniel realizes he has been staring at the bed and not at Jihoon, and when he looks up again, Jihoon’s face gives him a confidence he hasn’t expected. He responds by shyly interlacing their fingers, until their hands are clasped together, and Daniel tightens his grasp for comfort – if for Jihoon or for himself, he doesn’t know.

“I got so afraid of losing you when we didn’t even have time to build something,” Daniel admits. “And I’m still scared. I don’t want to ruin guys for you.”

It’s the first time he says that out loud, although it has been one of his biggest concerns, and Jihoon isn’t indifferent at the confession. Against all odds, Jihoon shows the faintest smile, yet that’s enough for Daniel to feel his heart rate speed up. He doesn’t get what could be so funny at the moment, but it’s better than Jihoon crying.

“That would mean I’m going to date someone besides you,” Jihoon points out, tilting his head to the side. His smile grows into a grin – not a bitter or sad one, but an amused one. “Did you give up on me?”

Belatedly, realization dwells on Daniel. The relief is so immense that he senses a knot blocking his throat, and he has to blink several times to stop tears from coming out. Despite his attempt, Jihoon notices and sets his free hand around Daniel’s neck, pulling him closer. His touch alone calms Daniel down, but that moment of weakness, of mutual understanding, means the world to him.

“I’m stupid,” Daniel muses.

“You aren’t stupid,” Jihoon retorts with a soft chuckle. “Or maybe you are, but I’m a little bit stupid myself, so I can’t tell.”

That manages to pull a smile out of Daniel, tension slowly dissipating. Jihoon looks satisfied with the outcome, and scoots closer and closer until Daniel can embrace him in a hug. Daniel hesitates for a second, because he hasn’t touched Jihoon in so long that having permission to do so feels like a dream; but when he throws his arms around Jihoon’s waist, everything seems to fall into the right place, pieces coming together. Jihoon nuzzles his neck with a hum that sounds suspiciously like a whimper, and the mere thought of Jihoon needing him as much as Daniel needs him is heart-warming. It’s hard again for Daniel to not burst into tears.

“I just feel that I sabotaged myself, you know?” Daniel blabbers, caressing Jihoon’s hair. Jihoon simply rests his chin on his shoulder, content with the petting, and Daniel feels truly safe for the first time in weeks. “I thought it would be easier with you because I’ve never been so sure about someone. But it wasn’t. I didn’t want to make things hard for you.”

“I overreacted too.” Jihoon pulls away, blinking up at him. He doesn’t go far away, staying so close that Daniel would only have to angle his head down to kiss him. It doesn’t bother Jihoon, however, almost like he isn’t conscious of it. “This is my first real relationship and… I had never experienced jealousy. I felt that it was the end of the world but it was just me being insecure because Minhyun is handsome, and you loved him, and he had you in more ways that I’ve had.”

All that is true, so there’s no point in contradicting him. But what Daniel says next is true as well, and he doesn’t even have to mull over his words; they come out unexpected, without effort, and take Daniel himself off guard, “You have me now. And in more ways than you can imagine.”

Daniel can hear Jihoon sucking a breath, but Jihoon isn’t embarrassed of his own reaction. He’s more preoccupied with checking if Daniel means it, lips parted in a silent question. “Now you’re romantic?”

It’s difficult to perceive the teasing tone, and if Daniel hadn’t been a victim of it in the past, he wouldn’t have detected it. “Don’t make fun of me,” he complains, throwing his head back and groaning.

Jihoon openly laughs this time, enjoying every second of the torture inflicted on Daniel. He touches the side of Daniel’s neck to make him look at him again, which halts his groaning right away. It doesn’t make Daniel’s almost invisible pout fade away, however, and he can detect how Jihoon has trouble to not laugh once more.

“Let’s try harder this time, yeah?” Jihoon softly asks, almost like he’s afraid of his own question.

It’s not a _we_ , even if Jihoon’s intention is to make it look that way. Jihoon has been nothing but perfect in the relationship, so it’s Daniel who has to try harder. He’s certain. Pointing this out would only lead to them arguing about it, though, because Jihoon is clearly not prone to let Daniel carry all the weight of his mistakes.

Daniel nods so enthusiastically that his hair bounces and Jihoon reaches to fix it, mildly amused at Daniel’s nervousness. “Can I sleep over?”

It’s such a nonsensical question that Daniel doesn’t know how to answer. He supposed that Jihoon would stay, because when has he ever asked for permission? And because Daniel isn’t even considering letting him go, at least not tonight.

“If you accept sleeping in my messy bed,” Daniel jokes, patting the sheets. Perhaps two months ago he would have felt ashamed of the state of his bedroom, but at this point Jihoon knows he’s a disaster, and half of the nights they have spent together, it was Jihoon who made the bed the morning after.

But Jihoon isn’t paying attention to his joke, thus he doesn’t laugh, eyes fixed on Daniel’s face as though he has come to a new conclusion. Daniel throws a questioning look at him, smile fading, and Jihoon shifts on the bed, nervous.

“I’m going to kiss you,” he announces with a whisper, and Daniel feels like laughing. Not because Jihoon wants to kiss him, but because he says it like it was a mystery, a forbidden wish, or something that Daniel could have never imagined. Daniel doesn’t point it out, and Jihoon continues, “Can I?”

“You’re _asking_ ,” Daniel observes, incredulous.

Jihoon doesn’t reply, since it’s not a question, yet when Daniel leans forward to tap up his chin, Jihoon stops breathing. Which is ironic because Jihoon is breathtaking himself, and Daniel should be the one who forgot how beautiful he is from up close, the one who should be surprised. However, Jihoon seems to recover his sanity quite fast and stares at Daniel’s lips, licking his own.

Daniel closes the distance, stopping a few inches before Jihoon’s lips. “Weren’t you going to kiss me?”

Annoyance flashes through Jihoon’s eyes, just for a second, and Daniel knows that in the future he’s going to get reprimanded for _spoiling the moment_. It’s worth it anyhow, because Jihoon gets riled up at the question and draws Daniel into the kiss, hand fastening behind his head.

 

 

 

 

They move slow, at least as slow as they can considering that it’s not a new beginning. Daniel contemplates the possibility of mistrust between them, obviously one-sided, but Jihoon looks at him like Daniel never fucked up and he will never do it. However, things are different, because their relationship is visible to everyone, and they don’t have to pretend they are just friends in public. That includes Woojin, who has an astonishing ability to nose into their business, and makes Daniel stutter over his words even when the simplest questions have been asked. That doesn’t reassure Woojin, but shoves him into his overprotective mood. On the other hand, Jihoon always shrugs him and his worries off, and the only few times Daniel sees Jihoon truly irritated, it’s because Woojin is pestering him.

Daniel can’t deny that having Woojin around can be a disadvantage sometimes, but he doesn’t have the heart to be as harsh as Jihoon is. The taste of grass remains in his mouth, appearing every time Woojin glares at him, but the main impediment is that Daniel can’t blame Woojin after knowing that Jihoon cried in front of him. Because of Daniel. His worries are at least understandable.

“He needs a boyfriend himself,” Jihoon complains during a study session in which they have done everything except studying. Mostly because they have a private room for themselves and Seongwoo and Hyunbin cancelled on them at the last moment; Jihoon suggested to study outside the study rooms, but they had already reserved one and Daniel has a great difficulty to keep his voice low when he talks. “Can I offer Euiwoong as a tribute?”

“I think Euiwoong is attracted only to books,” Daniel answers, raising his head to glance at Jihoon. “And Woojin is the farthest thing from a book you could find.”

Desperation is painted all over Jihoon’s face, but Daniel simply shrugs. Woojin doesn’t seem to be interested in dating, to begin with, so Daniel has accepted that they will have to deal with him until he learns to let go of his cousin.

Defeated, Jihoon’s head falls on the textbook he has been reading – or pretending to read – and Daniel reaches out to ruffle his hair, which only gains him a groan. “Why are we even here?” he mumbles, and it’s not the first time today. “Next exams are after the spring break.”

Daniel sends him an unsympathetic look. “Because you failed half of your exams?”

“I was _sad_.”

“You failed them even before we fought,” Daniel reminds him with a snort, ignoring the offended expression on Jihoon’s semblance. “Don’t be so cheeky.”

“I’m not cheeky,” Jihoon protests, but he begrudgingly returns to his book.

Daniel pities him for a second, and then remembers that he also failed a few subjects during his first year and he had to retake them during his second year, which was one of the most stressing university experiences he has undergone. He’s doing Jihoon a favor by not giving into his laziness.

One hour later, he coerces Jihoon to study tomorrow as well in exchange for dinner tonight, and although Jihoon doesn’t look too convinced, he lights up when Daniel announces he can choose the restaurant. Luckily for Daniel’s wallet, Jihoon isn’t prone to visit fancy places, so they huddle in a familiar restaurant that, even if it’s a weekday, it’s full of people, life and noise. Most customers are students too, since the restaurant is quite close to campus, and it’s an environment in which they can hold hands or share a few pecks if they want to. Jihoon orders enough food for five persons, estimating that Daniel will eat only for two if Jihoon keeps him under control, and claiming that he needs food for his brain to function.

Daniel doesn’t mind spending money tonight, because Jihoon looks happier than he has been in the last two weeks, much more relaxed around Daniel. It’s a calmness that doesn’t foretell any storm, and Daniel can’t even imagine he could have lost this, that unnamed thing that exists between Jihoon and him.

“You’re thinking hard,” Jihoon chirps in, interrupting his thoughts, and Daniel jumps back to the real world just to find Jihoon staring at him with a spark of curiosity in his eyes.

“I’m always thinking hard.” The retort comes out easily, and Daniel is very proud of his comeback until he catches Jihoon’s eyes roaming down his body, eyebrows arched. Daniel feels a wave of heat hit him when he realizes what Jihoon is looking for, and he blurts out an embarrassed, “Don’t be nasty.”

Mouth full, Jihoon almost chokes as he laughs at Daniel’s coyness, as though he has just found his new favorite hobby. “I didn’t say a word.” Jihoon swallows and wipes his hands with a napkin, no trace of remorse. “But for real, what’s on your mind? You’re going to pop a vein.”

Daniel shouldn’t surrender so fast, but the fact that Jihoon can see through him, and even at this moment he can detect his hesitation, leaves him zero options. His doubts aren’t negative at all, but there’s always a possibility of being rejected. Daniel is fully aware of how he can shift from being underwhelming to being overwhelming in a matter of days, and that’s what he’s trying to avoid: that Jihoon doesn’t take him seriously or assumes that Daniel is forcing himself into situations he doesn’t truly wish for.

“You don’t have to say yes, okay?” Daniel begins. With all of Jihoon’s attention on him, he loses his appetite, not that he has been eating much so far. “I want to go back home during the spring break.”

When Daniel doesn’t add anything, Jihoon draws a small frown. “With your parents?”

Daniel shakes his head. “My parents don’t live in our hometown anymore. I want to visit my friends and spend the spring break with them.”

It’s evident Jihoon doesn’t find any coherence in Daniel’s words, or at least he doesn’t comprehend why Daniel is acting so serious about such a simple topic. “Are you asking me if you can go?” he muses, so low that it feels like admitting that his own question is ridiculous.

“No,” Daniel laughs, sweeping a hand through his hair in incredulity. “God, you’re dense. I’m asking if you would come with me.”

Daniel doesn’t count how many seconds Jihoon keeps his mouth open, gawking at him without an ounce of self-consciousness. Ironically, it’s Daniel who plunges into shame, now certain that he has jumped over a line Jihoon wasn’t ready to even cross.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to come,” Daniel repeats, stuttering over his words. “I know meeting my childhood friends might sound too intimidating and-”

Before Daniel can finish his apologetic mumbling, someone stumbles over their table, nearly knocking off their drinks and one bowl of soup. Jihoon releases a small scream and lunges for the bowl right in time, but Daniel is rolling his eyes before the newcomer even speaks.

“Well, if it isn’t the biggest loser ever,” Sungwoon greets him, seizing Daniel’s shoulder with excessive strength. His attention doesn’t linger on Daniel, given that Jihoon is a much more interesting distraction, and Daniel grunts as Sungwoon scans Jihoon like he wants to crack his head open. “You convinced the boy to get back together?”

“Fuck off, Sungwoon,” Daniel spats at him.

However, Jihoon is unbothered and emotionless, and returns Sungwoon’s gaze without blinking. “I’ve heard about you,” he states. “Not good things.”

Any normal guy would be annoyed at the unveiled accusation, but Sungwoon is far from normal. Rather than being mad at Jihoon, he dedicates him a toothy grin, very pleased with the situation.

“I pride myself on my reputation, kid,” he assures, securing his grip on Daniel like he will run away otherwise. “And you shouldn’t be so mean to me. I took care of your boyfriend when he was weeping over you.”

In the end, that has an impact on Jihoon, and Sungwoon displays his most triumphant smile. Surprised, Jihoon squirms in his seat to stare at Daniel; he doesn’t need to voice out his thoughts for Daniel to know that he’s silently asking if this is okay, if Daniel is comfortable with this conversation. Jihoon has no idea if Daniel suffered while they weren’t talking, other than Woojin physically assaulting him, and Daniel didn’t have any intention of revealing it.

“He doesn’t need to know that,” Daniel warns, throwing a napkin at Sungwoon.

The dirty napkin only makes Sungwoon withdraw his hand, which is enough of an achievement for Daniel. “Too late.” Sungwoon shrugs and then focuses on Jihoon. He doesn’t hesitate to shamelessly wink at Jihoon, not in a sexy way though he might think it is, and points at Daniel with his chin. “Hit me up if you get tired of him.”

“Get lost!” Daniel screams at him, but he can’t repress his laughter as he watches Sungwoon walk away to the table he came from, all his friends staring at them in shock.

“He’s funny,” Jihoon decides, smiling. He strokes the bowl that almost got knocked over, which upon happening would have probably changed his opinion on Sungwoon. “And weird.”

Due to Sungwoon’s interruption, Daniel doesn’t mention that Jihoon didn’t answer his proposition. It shouldn’t be a problem, except Daniel would prefer a rejection rather than silence, yet as soon as Sungwoon is gone, silence dilates around them.

Jihoon inclines his head to the side, noticing Daniel’s uneasiness right away. Aware of what has caused it, Jihoon simply reaches out to squeeze his hand, a sweet smile playing on his lips. “I’ll think about it,” he says, and that’s enough for Daniel.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who do you think daniel's childhood friends are?? /winks/ they are at least 2...


	13. Chapter 13

“Absolutely no,” Daniel refuses as soon as the idea escapes Seongwoo's mouth.

He shouldn't have expected better, because Seongwoo has always been worse than Daniel at life decisions, and that itself is an achievement - not a positive one. But this time he's going overboard, which isn't unusual either, but the consequences can be much more fatal.

“Why not? We need privacy for this, so the moment will be perfect,” Seongwoo whines, not disposed to give up so easily. He sits upright in the chair, taking a glance around the kitchen to make sure Hyunbin isn’t there. “And you can't really control when I should confess.”

Frustrated, Daniel releases a shaky breath, trying to regain his composure. Seongwoo is stubborn, that much he's aware of, and he hates losing an argument. But Seongwoo supported him when he was going through hell with Jihoon – even if that support, given Seongwoo's techniques to cheer people up, is questionable.

“You're assuming the confession will go well,” Daniel says very slowly, as to make his friend understand that he doesn't mean to hurt him. “But let's be realistic: it might not turn out as amazing as you're imagining it in your head. If disaster happens, you're going to need me here. I can't split my spring break to run back here if things go wrong.”

For several seconds, Seongwoo merely stares at Daniel in horror, as though he has been told that the world is ending tomorrow and there isn't any type of salvation anymore. Daniel relates to his reaction, because he would have created the best scenario possible in his head too: Hyunbin broke up with Jonghyun after throwing a fit over the possibility of Seongwoo dating Donghan, and that should be a reliable proof of his feelings.

But Daniel has learnt that feelings aren't enough sometimes, and Seongwoo should be careful with his words. Daniel can't travel from his hometown to the campus, can't cancel all his spring break plans just because Seongwoo is planning to confess while he's away.

“Why are you...?” Seongwoo begins, accompanying his words with vague hand gestures. “Like this?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be,” Seongwoo groans. “Fuck, you're right.”

Daniel doesn't add fuel to the fire, and just hands Seongwoo his milk and cereal as a consolation. It's one of the last breakfasts they're going to spend together, at least until Daniel comes back, and he doesn't trust Seongwoo's capability to feed himself while he's raking his brain. He hopes both Seongwoo and Hyunbin are alive when he comes back.

 

 

 

 

Daniel tries to forget about the propositon he made to Jihoon, but it isn’t that easy. First of all, he doesn't want to pressure him into what could be a series of uncomfortable situations, one after another. Although Daniel is willing to introduce Jihoon to his childhood friends, the problem is that none of them know he's dating anyone. Before Jihoon, Daniel's lovelife had reached such a low point that his friends didn't bother to ask him about it anymore. Daniel should have told them, but the topic never came up, and how was he supposed to explain that he was after Woojin's cousin?

“You have to plead,” Euiwoong merrily suggests when Daniel tries to pull some information out of him, taking him aside after class. According to Daniel's logic, Jihoon would turn to Euiwoong for help, in case he was hesitating about tagging along with Daniel or not. And Jihoon probably did, but Euiwoong wouldn't reveal his friends' secrets without putting a fight first. “Not to me, don't make that face. Ask Jihoon again.”

Daniel glares at him out of the corner of his eye, “You're not being helpful at all.”

“I'm not trying to be.”

“You should be more careful, kid,” Daniel warns him, and taps his finger on Euiwoong’s nose. Euiwoong immediately swats his hand away, frowning. “I know you kissed my boyfriend.”

Euiwoong shrugs, “I didn't enjoy it. He's not a good kisser.”

“Of course he is,” Daniel protests, gasping, and places a hand on his chest.

Judging the look Euiwoong throws at him, he must be thinking that Daniel is either crazy or also a bad kisser. Insinuating that Jihoon is bad at kissing is already offensive, but implying that Daniel is too? That’s unacceptable.

“You're that whipped, aren't you?” Euiwoong observes, amused. “Or did you teach him? Practice with Kang Daniel? You should start an academy.”

Daniel shouldn’t be surprised, because this is what happens when you hang out with freshmen that have zero respect for you. The fact that Daniel acts like an idiot around Jihoon has helped Euiwoong and Woojin to lose that respect for him, but it’s worth the pain. Except in moments like this one.

When Daniel doesn’t answer, Euiwoong sighs and continues, “Listen, he’s your boyfriend. Just ask him if he has finally made a decision.”

At this point, it’s evident Jihoon hasn’t told Euiwoong about it, whether it’s because he hasn’t reached a conclusion or because he doesn’t want to share it. To some extent, Euiwoong is right, and Daniel’s fears are unfounded.

 

 

 

 

Two days before the spring break, Daniel gives up. There’s not much he can do apart from that, and it’s the acceptation of reality what eases his concern. Perhaps it’s not the right moment to take this step – or Jihoon deems so – and that’s fine. They have all the time in the world.

But there’s a reason Daniel fell for Jihoon. He’s unpredictable, maybe not to everyone, but he is in Daniel’s book. If Daniel assumes something, Jihoon proves him otherwise, and it's that continuous chaos that catches Daniel off guard, reminds him that life isn't going to be boring while Jihoon is with him.

That's why Daniel shouldn't be so shocked when, the last day before the spring break, he opens the door for a Jihoon that is carrying two huge suitcases and wheezing through his nose. Daniel stares at him for a second, and then looks behind him, not finding any trace of a taxi that could have brought him here. The fact that Jihoon carried two suitcases that probably weigh more than him, even if it was in public transport, is astounding enough.

“What-” Daniel starts, but no words come out. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts, under Jihoon's offended expression - because Daniel is petrified instead of helping him - and manages to utter, “What are you doing?”

Jihoon glares at him, glares for real, and Daniel doesn't know what he has done so wrong to deserve it now. He even hurries to go over the last two days to check if he fucked up, but he doesn't find anything incriminating.

In the end, Jihoon sighs, giving into Daniel's puppy face. “Sleeping here so we can leave early tomorrow?”

It's not that hard to understand, yet Daniel gawks at him as though he's speaking in an alien language. Jihoon seems to be about to burst into laughter, lips twitching; he's strong enough to resist, and pushes past Daniel while gesturing at his own suitcases. Daniel would find adorable and ridiculous that Jihoon thinks he can order Daniel around like that, but not in these circumstances. Right now he can only obey out of shock, a feeling of contentment and satisfaction growing in his stomach.

Daniel doesn't ask questions, however, because it's not necessary. Jihoon cooks for the two of them, although he's not the greatest cook in the world, and slaps Seongwoo's hands away every time he steps into the kitchen to trick them into giving him food. By the time they have finished dinner, Seongwoo is still complaining about how heartless Jihoon is. Not that it matters that much: Jihoon is happy because Daniel liked the meal, plus just in a few months he has developed a wonderful ability to ignore Seongwoo's whining.

“You should be nicer considering you stole my best friend,” Seongwoo remarks as Jihoon and Daniel wash the dishes, more entertained with splashing water at each other rather than actually cleaning. “Why is life so unfair?”

“It isn't. Karma is getting back at you for being a bitch,” Jihoon cheerfully replies.

Daniel elbows him in the ribs, making Jihoon jump, but instead of looking guilty Jihoon puts his hand under the water to redirect it to Daniel's face. He doesn't have time to react, so he winds up soaked in water, hair dripping and t-shirt wet, and Jihoon's laughter drilling into his ears.

"I'm dating the devil, what the hell," Daniel groans, which only provokes more laughter, and reaches for a cloth to dry his face. He's lucky it's not a cold day, so he doesn't have to change his t-shirt. “I shouldn't have let you in.”

Jihoon mimics his words in a mocking tone, and Daniel has no option but stop bickering, because when Jihoon is in the mood to fool around, he's too pertinacious. Seongwoo murmurs that Daniel should yield with his boyfriend by himself, and then exits the kitchen in fear of being attacked too.

Even though Jihoon is still cackling, he takes another cloth to wipe Daniel's neck, finally pitying him. “Don't baby Seongwoo, that's why he sulks so often,” he softly says, glancing up at Daniel's resigned expression. He flashes a wide smile, cheeks full. “Plus you have to focus on babying me.”

Daniel smiles back at him, “If I treat you like a baby, then there are things we _can't_ _do_ , Jihoon.”

“Don't be obscene,” Jihoon reprimands him, as if he's not the first to tell dirty jokes when they're alone. He pats Daniel's chest, leaving the cloth pressed there. “You can do both. You're a talented boy.”

To be honest, Daniel feels quite innocent when it comes to Jihoon, and that's the reason he becomes so nervous whenever they bring up sex - even if it's Daniel himself talking about it, he regrets it seconds later. On the contrary, Jihoon never seems to be uncomfortable, but Daniel is aware, from experience, that Jihoon is all bark and no bite. Of course, there have been moments in which they were making out and things got heated up, but one of them always backed off. Usually Jihoon. Daniel doesn't mind since he can wait, but sometimes he wonders if Jihoon has doubts for a specific reason, and if it's Daniel himself who has caused the doubts.

“You're thinking hard again,” Jihoon points out, sending him a concerned look and turning around to continue washing. “Stop. You've been doing it a lot lately and it's scary.”

When they go sleep that night, Daniel reaches a conclusion that he hasn’t even considered before. Jihoon curls up against his chest, using his arm as a pillow, and he looks so small in Daniel’s embrace that he thinks it’s ironical that he feels so safe with Jihoon – like Jihoon could protect him from everything. He knew that about himself, but what he discovers that night is that Jihoon, sleeping against him, feels safe too. He sleeps while fisting Daniel’s pajamas, with a peaceful expression that Daniel has never seen on him; it’s that, the fact that Daniel can make Jihoon feel safe too, what changes everything for him.

 

 

 

 

Jihoon lazes around in bed next morning and attempts to lure Daniel back under the sheets several times, one of which includes physically forcing him down. Daniel is tempted to fall into the trap, and he even indulges Jihoon for a while, but they have a long trip ahead. Jihoon seems to have forgotten about that, and at this point Daniel suspects that the purpose of arriving last night was to spend the night with him, not to leave early.

Getting into the car feels like a dream after the effort it took Daniel to drag Jihoon there. His suitcases are heavy and they barely fit in the trunk, but luckily Daniel's suitcase is small and it leaves enough room for Jihoon's. As they slip into the car, Hyunbin waves at them from the kitchen's window, grinning like he's bidding them goodbye because they're going on an adventure; this isn't an adventure, Daniel realizes,  if his sweaty hands gripping the wheel is anything to go by.

He turns to stare at Jihoon, frowning, but he's waving back at Hyunbin with the same foolish grin. Daniel clears his throat to draw his attention, and Jihoon blinks at him in confusion.

“Are you nervous?” he asks, voice raspy.

“Why would I be nervous?” Jihoon immediately replies, tugging at the seatbelt. When Daniel only gives him silence, not because he doesn't mean to answer but because he's thinking how to word it, Jihoon snaps his head up, a glint of realization in his eyes. “Oh, wait, _you_ are nervous.”

Speechless, Daniel opens his mouth a couple of times to contradict him, but it doesn't work. Jihoon is right. Daniel is nervous, which is stupid, since he's not the one who is going to pass some sort of boyfriend test. He's sure his friends are going to like Jihoon, but he's afraid that Jihoon might not feel comfortable around them, or who knows, he could even dislike them.

Jihoon smirks at him, and with the only purpose of hiding his own embarrassment, Daniel starts the engine instead of paying attention to him. It turns out Jihoon is a great company for the trip, except for the times he becomes too much of a distraction and Daniel has to keep his eyes on the road. Still, he feeds Daniel snacks so that they don’t have to come to a halt, and blabbers about the last time he talked to his mum on the phone – apparently being overprotective isn’t a Woojin thing, but a family thing. Daniel can bear _one_ Woojin, yet he doubts he can handle a whole family acting like he does.

“You don’t have to worry about that now,” Jihoon tells him after he has expressed his concerns. “They’re not going to like you at first, no matter what.”

Sucking in a breath, Daniel protests, “How does that help me to not worry? Fuck off?”

Much to his surprise, Jihoon laughs at him so hard that he hits his head with the window. After a hiss and Daniel almost stopping the car to check on him, which is uncalled for, Jihoon continues, “Listen. I’m the youngest in my family and my parents are strict as hell. They are _hell_. So you could be the most perfect man in the world and they would still find something to hate you for. But then they will accept that we’re together and you’ll be fine.”

It’s too much information at once, and Daniel can’t sink in it because an idea pops up in his mind. “Jihoon, you told them about me?”

Jihoon shrugs, suddenly coy, perhaps because the shock is obvious in Daniel’s voice. “I’m close to my mom. I always tell her everything. Well, I didn’t mention the fight,” he mutters the last part, and then gives Daniel a side glance, as though he hopes he hasn’t heard it. “It’s fine. They’re not going to demand to meet you or anything, that’s up to us.”

It would be rude to admit Daniel is relieved, so he keeps his mouth shut. He is relieved, anyhow, because meeting Jihoon’s parents is a step that can ruin the relationship and Daniel is prone to not get on well with parents. Not even his friends’ parents are fond of him because he’s the type to get people into trouble without meaning to.

“I didn’t tell them,” Daniel confesses then, and Jihoon gazes at him for a few seconds, no reproach in his face. “Not for any specific reason. I just… have never done it before.”

“It doesn’t matter, for real.” Jihoon reaches to feed him a chip, so Daniel complies by opening his mouth, even though Jihoon’s nonchalant attitude doesn’t fit the conversation. “I don’t need to meet your parents yet, unless you’re going to propose during this trip. In that case, the answer is no, Daniel.”

In response, Daniel scoffs. “Don’t think so highly of yourself. I bet anyone would die to marry me.”

Daniel catches Jihoon arching his eyebrows in skepticism, and he has trouble to not cackle at Jihoon’s seriousness. “You aren’t exactly a catch. You can’t cook to save your life. Your grades? A mess. Worse than mine, and that’s difficult, dude. You kick me when you’re asleep and I have bruises, I look like I box for a life.”

Anyone in their right mind would be offended, but Jihoon sounds so childish that the strongest feeling Daniel experiences is amusement. “What about my kissing skills, though?”

There’s a long silence in which Jihoon seems to ponder about it, and then he hums, “Uhm, that’s fine.”

“I have skills you haven’t found out yet.”

Jihoon hurls a chip at him, and Daniel doesn’t need to turn his head to know Jihoon is blushing. “Shut up, what a fuckboy,” he grumpily grunts, but the insinuation is enough to kill all his intention to tease.

 

 

 

 

Daniel hasn’t counted on the consequences of having an empty house for months and being the first one to return to it. His parents haven’t set a foot in the house in one year, at least, which means no one has cleaned it in the meantime. Even though Jihoon doesn’t let out any snide remark, Daniel flushes red as soon as they’re inside the house and sputters a hundred apologies. Jihoon reassures him with a sweet smile and tells him that they can fix that problem later, so they leave the suitcases there and decide to eat in a restaurant instead.

Spending the first day of vacation cleaning Daniel’s house isn’t the most romantic plan, and Daniel curses himself for it throughout the day. However, Jihoon doesn’t care, and he seems to find some sort of joy in going through Daniel’s old things and making fun of his toys.

“I can’t believe you have so many comics,” Jihoon says, a smile perked on his lips as he drops himself onto the bed. They had to clean and dry the sheets in the dryer beforehand, though. “Looks can be indeed deceiving.”

Daniel, who is currently sweeping the floor, stops in his tracks to give him a withering look. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Jihoon sing-songs. He flicks through the comic he’s holding, which Daniel prefers not to know because he won’t be able to hold his pride up, and stares up at Daniel in anticipation. “When are we meeting your friends?”

“Tonight, if you’re not too tired.” Daniel isn’t expecting Jihoon’s face to light up, but it does. He regrets the offer right away because he himself is too tired to manage his friends and the emotions that come with a reencounter; he’s surprised Jihoon is so willing. “You’re going to need energy.”

Jihoon’s stare is almost defying, as though he can read Daniel’s thoughts and his intentions to cancel the plans. “Did you even tell them I came with you?” he asks, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

It’s Daniel’s turn to smirk. “They don’t even know I have a boyfriend,” he admits. It’s satisfactory to see how Jihoon’s expression shifts from contentment to horror. “Let me take a shower and then we can meet them.”

Daniel doesn’t stay to witness how Jihoon changes his mind; he just finishes sweeping the floor and runs to the bathroom, ignoring Jihoon’s protests that can be heard even through the thick walls.

All in all, there isn’t any way Daniel could have told his friends about Jihoon. They wouldn’t have believed it, to begin with, just like they have never believed any of Daniel’s _love stories_. To them, Daniel is still a kid that crushes on anyone every two seconds and forgets about them in the third second, so there isn’t any room for serious romantic relationships. They were right until now, even if it was because he was an expert at suppressing his feelings, and Daniel can’t blame his friends for their assumptions.

Unlike he has expected, when he exits the bathroom, Jihoon is completely ready to go out, even holding Daniel’s jacket and standing near the door. Daniel realizes this is some type of game about who can go further before backing out, and he’s not going to lose. He’s the one with no reasons to be overly worried: he doesn’t understand how Jihoon is so bold, or what he has in mind to have the certainty that Daniel’s friends are going to like him.

“Their names,” Jihoon demands as he hands Daniel his jacket.

He accepts it with a sigh, but instead of giving Jihoon information he should earn by himself, he pats his butt and says, “Why don’t you let them introduce themselves? One of them would be pleased to tell you his whole life even.”

Although not satisfied with the negative, Jihoon nearly drags Daniel out of the house, intertwining their hands. Judging by the amount of pressure Jihoon uses, he’s more nervous than he lets on, and Daniel decides to indulge him a bit while they walk to his friends’ house. However, one of the reasons they know each other since they were kids is because they lived in the same neighborhood; by the time they arrive, Jihoon hasn’t braced himself, and he trips over his own feet when Daniel announces they’re _there_.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Jihoon blabbers, stepping back and freeing himself from Daniel’s grasp. He wipes his palms on his jeans and then he looks up at Daniel with wide eyes. “Oh my god, my hands are sweaty. What if they want to give me a handshake? They’re going to think I’m gross.”

If Jihoon wasn’t so serious about this small moment of panic, Daniel would laugh. It’s hilarious how he’s capable of piling up his feelings until he explodes and the real Jihoon, the one that Daniel likes, swims to the surface.

Rolling his eyes, Daniel steps forward and takes Jihoon’s hand into his again. It’s odd to realize that his touch calms Jihoon down in a matter of seconds. It’s always odd for Daniel to realize that he can have that effect on someone.

“Jihoon, they are gross,” Daniel jokes. “Well, Haknyeon isn’t, but he’s the only one and he would never think someone is gross, otherwise he wouldn’t be friends with us.”

It takes Jihoon a few seconds to nod, and then Daniel concedes him a few more just in case before closing the distance to ring the bell. They don’t have to wait for a long time, since his friends are aware that Daniel is visiting, just not that detail of him bringing company.

Much to their luck, the one who welcomes them is Haknyeon, whose presence is enough for Jihoon to not spiral into anxiety. That’s Haknyeon’s gift, perhaps because he’s a pretty, smiling boy with round cheeks and his looks prevent him from being intimidating to strangers, or perhaps it’s something else. Despite spotting Jihoon first, Haknyeon acts like he would have done if Jihoon hadn’t been there, and jumps forward to crush Daniel with a hug – or tries to, because Haknyeon is too small to do so.

When they part, Daniel ruffles his hair, both amused and filled with happiness. He doesn’t forget about Jihoon, however, setting a hand on Haknyeon’s back to make him face Jihoon. All the words die on the tip of his tongue as soon as Daniel finds Jihoon staring at him with an undecipherable smile. Daniel doesn’t know _why_ , can’t pinpoint what’s different about Jihoon’s stare this time, but it’s there.

“And you are…?” Haknyeon provides, cautious.

As though his voice brings him back to the present, Jihoon shakes his head and fixes his gaze on Haknyeon. “Jihoon,” he sweetly says, much more collected than he should be after suffering a crisis two minutes ago. “I’m his boyfriend.”

This isn’t the strategy Daniel was going to use. He had to pave the way for such great news, which means that Jihoon had to pretend to be a friend for a while. Out of nervousness, he has forgotten about what they discussed back home, and there’s no going back now that he has spilled the truth.

“His-” Haknyeon attempts, failing because he’s so stunned that he chokes on his own spit. Daniel would swear someone has slapped him, judging the way he turns to Daniel like he’s possessed by some foreign entity, and with a high pitched shriek, he asks, “Your what?”

“My-”

Haknyeon doesn’t wait for the confirmation, running into the house without waiting. And then he does exactly what Daniel was determined to avoid, both to not embarrass himself and to protect Jihoon.

“Jaehwan!” Haknyeon screams, and Daniel knows for a fact that Haknyeon rarely screams. He only ever rises his voice because of scary movies or if a bug attacks him. “Daniel has brought a boyfriend. A boyfriend!”

Mortified, Daniel covers his face and murmurs an apology to Jihoon; on the other hand, Jihoon simply giggles and strides into the house after Haknyeon, pretty much enjoying the situation.

 

 

 

 

It was predictable that Jaehwan would be his horrible self in front of Jihoon too, free from inhibitions. He has never cared excessively about appearances, first impressions or, for that matter, last impressions. The first thing he does is to check Jihoon out, from head to toe, not minding that Daniel explicitly tells him to not do it to his boyfriend; the second is punching Daniel in the arm, there where his muscle has developed memory after being hit throughout his whole adolescence.

“He’s pretty,” Jaehwan justifies himself. He offers to take Jihoon’s jacket, which is a gesture very uncharacteristic of him, and then repeats, “You’re pretty, boy. Why is someone like you dating Daniel?”

“Full offense, asshole. I’m pretty too,” Daniel cuts in, not letting Jihoon answer. He’s sure that Jihoon is going to play along to Jaehwan’s teasing at some point, and he’s not ready for that. “For how long have you been crashing at Haknyeon’s place?”

Reading the moment, Haknyeon leads Jihoon inside, claiming that he’s going to show him around the house. It’s then when Daniel lets himself glare at Jaehwan. “For a while,” he admits, not looking guilty at all. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m only helping with the pigs.”

The incredulity in Daniel’s eyes is enough of an answer, because Jaehwan adds, “Okay, whatever. Why are we talking about me? You suddenly have a _boyfriend_. The last notice I had about you and a boy was that Minhyun guy you were destroying.”

“It’s not my fault you don’t care about my love life,” Daniel begins, and Jaehwan is so shameless that he snorts a clear _what a love life_. “Jihoon is Woojin’s cousin. That’s how I met him.”

Jaehwan hums at that, which isn’t what Daniel is expecting; he’s expecting a comment about how he can’t meet new guys on his own, or how dating your friend’s cousin is a mistake. “Should we order pizza?” Jaehwan says instead. “Jihoon looks like you haven’t been feeding him properly.”

Even though Jihoon has spent almost all day eating, it’s true that they were just snacks, and it’s not a surprise that Jihoon looks tired after all the activity they’ve had today. Daniel can’t refute that.

“He has pigs!” Jihoon exclaims, trailing after Haknyeon as he steps into the living room. He pokes his finger into Daniel’s chest, accusing, and Haknyeon laughs at his indignation. “You didn’t tell me about the pigs.”

Daniel swats his finger away and rubs his chest, but he can’t help the smile that blooms on his lips. “Why are you so excited? You’re a piglet yourself, you should be used to seeing them.”

They all are pleased with the idea of pizza for dinner, and in no time they have four different pizzas on the table, although Jaehwan leans back on the couch to eat despite Haknyeon’s protests. At first the conversation is just about Jihoon, about what he’s majoring in, about his family and even topics Daniel hasn’t asked about yet – that’s the essence of friends, Daniel supposes, that they don’t have to tiptoe around in case they offend someone. Jihoon doesn’t have to draw a line, however, and that implies he’s fine with all the questions.

“How did you start dating each other?” Haknyeon pries after a while; they’ve almost run out of food, so the only distraction is Jihoon, and Haknyeon decides to join the interrogation.

Jihoon sends Daniel a smirk, one that doesn’t hint anything good. “Daniel invited me to Netflix and chill,” he spits, as though it’s something to be proud of.

His friends’ reactions aren’t that shocking. Anyone in their right mind would be taken aback. Jaehwan loudly whistles and shoves another piece of pizza into his mouth, grinning at Daniel like he’s impressed at his ways for once. On the contrary, Haknyeon gawks between Daniel and Jihoon so fast that Daniel worries about his neck. It’s awkward to have his childhood friends, the same he played with at kindergarten, know that his first intention was to bone the guy he’s currently dating.

“Don’t tell the story like that!” Daniel cries out, flushing red. “Just say I invited you over for a movie.”

Jihoon quirks his eyebrows at him, though his lips are stretched into a knowing smile. “That’s a lie. Are you asking me to lie?”

“Yeah? Did you tell your mom the story like that too?”

Regrets seeps into Daniel only one second after asking that question. The question isn’t the problem, though, it’s Jihoon’s silence giving the truth away. Daniel wants the ground to swallow him, since he will never dare to meet Jihoon’s parents. This is the worst scenario possible.

“Well, yes,” Jihoon confesses. He sounds somewhat self-conscious this time, which doesn’t ease Daniel’s frustration. “I didn’t know what that meant! She doesn’t know either apparently, so you don’t have to worry.”

Daniel sinks his face in a cushion, and his voice is muffled as he speaks, “It’s the 21st century, okay? She will find out sooner or later.”

“This is so entertaining,” Jaehwan points out, chewing on the remainders of his pizza. Whether he’s referring to the argument or to the fact that Daniel’s future is screwed, it doesn’t matter. He probably enjoys both. “So did you fuck in the first date?”

That’s a delicate topic, thus Daniel hushes Jaehwan by throwing the cushion at him. His friend shrieks when he accidentally drops the pizza on his lap, and sputters a wave of curses that only him could come up with.

“That’s none of your business,” Daniel warns him, ignoring Haknyeon’s laughter.

“That means no,” Jaehwan replies, but he shows his palms in defense. However, he finds something much worse to talk about. “Do you want to know how Daniel lost his virginity? It’s a _story_.”

Bringing Jihoon here wasn’t a good idea.

Unfortunately, Daniel’s teenage phase was disastrous and Jaehwan has an excellent memory to remember anything that serves as blackmail material – his memory was disappointing when it came to academic purposes, though. Daniel is certain that Jaehwan thought he would never have the chance to reveal Daniel’s dark past, and now that it’s possible, he’s disposed to make the best of it. Haknyeon consoles him just by patting his head, and that would have worked any other time, but not while Jihoon is roaring with laughter at the stories. The way he lost his virginity isn’t the worst of his stories; there are many others, like accidental nudism or falling down the stairs during his graduation.

Although he attempts to block some of the most shameful stuff, Jaehwan is unstoppable, and in the end Daniel gives up and builds up a conversation with Haknyeon. Letting Jihoon and Jaehwan connect with each other has more disadvantages than perks, but he can take the risk. Catching up with Haknyeon’s life is so distracting that when Daniel pays attention to what Jaehwan is telling Jihoon, he notices that the theme of their talk has taken an unexpected, dangerous turn.

“Daniel looks very strong on the surface,” Jaehwan is saying, with an enthusiasm that doesn’t fit the mood. Jihoon is looking at him, attentive, like he’s trying to memorize every single word. “But he’s really sensitive. He was a spoiled kid plus very family oriented so it has been hard for him to leave home and go study. You have to take care of him even if he lies and says he doesn’t need it.”

“Do you know I’m still here?” Daniel interrupts, shocked. “Aren’t you supposed to talk about that privately?”

Rather than abashed for getting caught, both of them look annoyed at Daniel for intruding. Jihoon even frowns at him, like Daniel has destroyed the most interesting story he has ever heard.

“No?” Jaehwan suggests with honest puzzlement. “It’s not a secret, you know. He will realize sooner or later, so I’m saving you both that typical moment of yours when you get extremely upset at someone and hide it.”

Daniel releases an exasperated sigh. “Thanks for the effort, jerk. I can do it myself.”

Anyhow, Jihoon seems to be very interested in the exchange. “Enough for today?” he teases Daniel, sliding over the couch to approach him, and clings to him with a small laugh. “Jaehwan is indeed exhausting, but helpful.”

 

 

 

 

“They are nice,” Jihoon whispers to him as they walk back home. It’s almost midnight, and Jihoon sticks to him in search of warmth, fingers shrinking in Daniel’s hand. “Not just nice. I mean, you can tell they’re sincere, that they love you, right?”

His tone is what catches Daniel’s interest, but it’s also the reason he doesn’t dare to gaze at him. There’s a knot growing in his throat, because yes, he knows, and he’s not used to hearing it out loud. Jihoon doesn’t insist, conscious that there isn’t any need to push Daniel and they stay silent the rest of the way home.

Once they’re home, Jihoon goes straight to the shower while Daniel gets ready to jump into the bed. The bed isn’t big, since he didn’t need to share it when he was a teen, but luckily squeezing themselves into a small bed isn’t new for them. Daniel even prefers it.

“Are you tired now?” Daniel asks as Jihoon puts his pajamas on, plus a sweater Daniel has lent him because the house, after being empty for so long, is colder than usual.

Jihoon sways to his sides, losing his balance, and crawls on the bed to meet Daniel in a kiss. It’s just a small peck, because Jihoon is tired and he doesn’t have energy for more; Daniel even has to pull up the sheets for him, snickering because the only way Jihoon thanks him is by yawning.

“I know that you’re embarrassed about all what they told me,” Jihoon mutters all of a sudden, rolling on his side to stare at him. Daniel draws him closer by the waist, just enough to be pressed against each other, but also to be able to look into his eyes. “But it helps me to see who you really are.”

Daniel caresses Jihoon’s cheek, just slightly, but it’s fascinating to see how Jihoon closes his eyes at the contact, heavily breathing. “Why? Did you find anything new?” Daniel asks, as softly as Jihoon talked to him.

 “Lots.”

Smiling, Jihoon opens his eyes; Daniel’s fingers travel down to his neck and Jihoon follows, covering his hand with his palm. Whereas Daniel was joking, Jihoon isn’t, and his next words are playing in Daniel’s mind even before he hears them. “I love you,” Jihoon whispers.

It’s the first time Jihoon says it, and Daniel doesn’t hesitate to respond, because it’s incredibly easy, because it’s true and he should have told him earlier, “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaaay so I know I said I'd try to finish in 3 chapters but that didn't work, even if this is the longest chapter so far in the fic. I'm not even done with the visit lol. Gdi @ myself. But we're still very close to the ending, I promise. Next update will probably take more time because I have to write a fic for a fest and I'm stressed, at best, and I'm really behind in my plans D: Anyway I hope I can still update relatively soon! And I hope you enjoyed this mess of a chapter


	14. Chapter 14

Although it doesn’t come off as a surprise, Jaehwan is pretty efficient at stealing Jihoon’s attention during the whole holidays. Daniel doesn’t mind that much, because that was the aim of bringing Jihoon here: let him get in touch with a part of Daniel’s life that he didn’t know and prove that Daniel is disposed to open up everything to him.

That’s not the biggest of his problems. Apparently Jihoon’s body is very receptive to changes, and he has a hard time adjusting to Daniel’s former home and to his hometown. He never expresses it verbally, but when Daniel catches him sleepwalking at four in the morning – not walking, but stuffing his face with all the chocolate they have at home – Jihoon doesn’t have any other option but confess that it must be because he has been stressed lately.

“Stressed? About this trip?” Daniel asks him during breakfast.

The upside of having a whole house for themselves is that they can have breakfast in bed, although Jihoon frowned upon it at first. The downside is that after engulfing all the food, it’s harder to leave the bed, and it’s not shocking that Daniel ends up spooning Jihoon instead of getting up.

“Put yourself in my shoes,” Jihoon weakly reproaches him, his strength dying in a pool of embarrassment. Because he knows it’s foolish, but he couldn’t do anything about it. “We had just had a crisis and you wanted me to meet your childhood friends.”

Amused, Daniel doesn’t bother to muffle his laughter, and he feels Jihoon’s confusion at his reaction. The thing is that meeting Haknyeon and Jaehwan was never the real reason Daniel came up with this idea, and that’s what he tells Jihoon.

“You know this was an excuse to be alone with you, right?” Daniel teases him, brushing a strand of Jihoon’s hair behind his ear.

Jihoon makes a satisfied noise and then falls silent for several seconds, which is the proof of how he hasn’t even considered that possibility. Daniel is content, for it’s not every day he manages to leave Jihoon speechless, and promises himself that he would express his feelings out loud more often.

“Besides, I wouldn’t mind meeting your childhood friends,” Daniel adds out of sincerity. “Maybe I’d be a bit nervous, but not like you the other night.”

Jihoon stays still, as though Daniel is making him an offer and not just making a casual comment. He wiggles on the mattress to turn around and face Daniel, but unlike Daniel has expected, Jihoon doesn’t look nervous at all.

“I was a failure of a kid, my best friend was Woojin,” Jihoon admits, and though he mentions it like it’s not a big deal, Daniel knows better. It’s hard for Jihoon to open up too - Daniel knows he made a big effort to reveal his true self to Daniel – and apparently it’s not a recent issue, but a self-protection strategy he developed as a child. “Can you imagine what I had to go through?”

“My poor baby,” Daniel coos jokingly. Jihoon shoots him a glare, well aware that he’s being made fun of; anyhow, instead of hitting Daniel like he would usually do, he shifts closer, lazily throwing an arm over Daniel’s waist and fisting the back of his pajama. “I think Woojin is our enemy now, if that helps.”

“It totally does, thanks.”

Chances are that Jihoon wouldn’t have answered that a few days ago, because it has been during the trip they’ve had to deal with the worst version of Woojin. He went from only texting to repeatedly call them just to _check on them_ , which seems to be a metaphor of how he’s trying to cockblock them. And it’s working pretty well so far, Daniel gives him that.

Jihoon’s best idea has been to confiscate Daniel’s phone, despite Daniel’s protests because it’s impossible to live without his phone. That has more consequences besides being free from Woojin’s vigilance. For starters, Seongwoo is updating Daniel every other hour about how things are going with Hyunbin, and even though Jihoon had his suspicions beforehand, now it only takes him to pull out the phone and read the messages to know everything. Seongwoo is probably going to murder Daniel for allowing Jihoon to read it, but it’s undeniable that sharing the secret lifts a weight off Daniel’s shoulders.

“He’s so whipped,” Jihoon points out. They’re packing small bags with clean clothes and swim trunks, since Haknyeon insisted they had to go swimming to his cousin’s pool. Jihoon hadn’t brought swimming trunks because they didn’t expect nice weather, so they had to look through Daniel’s teenage clothes to find some for both of them. “You told him not to do anything while you were away? Because he’s so going to do it anyway.”

“Let me see them,” Daniel whines as he attempts to reach out for the phone. Jihoon is too fast, however, and dedicates him his most mischievous smile, pressing the phone against his chest. Daniel grunts. “Can you at least read them out loud?”

That must not be an intelligent request, judging the grin that extends on Jihoon’s faces. “Sure thing."

“I have a bad hunch.”

Jihoon coughs as theatrically as he can to shut Daniel up, and Daniel pretends to zip his mouth.

“ _Hyunbin keeps walking around in underwear and I'm pretty sure he's doing it on purpose_.” Jihoon recites, tone so neutral that Daniel is sure he's making an effort to sound that dead. “ _I'm going nuts and the nuts thing is literal_.”

Daniel gags and pushes Jihoon’s shoulder to stop him from reading more. It works. Jihoon takes his eyes off of the screen and breathes deep, stare becoming judgmental as he looks back at Daniel. “Your friend is gross and horny.”

Within Daniel agrees with him, but it's a matter of loyalty not to drown Seongwoo further in his embarrassing pool of tears. Seongwoo is already doing a great job at being desperate and making a fool out of himself, and he doesn’t need Jihoon reminding him as well.

“Hyunbin would never do that, Seongwoo is tripping,” Daniel assures him. “He’s too oblivious and too innocent.”

“You don't know that,” Jihoon says, locking the phone screen. After throwing the phone on the bed to keep packing clothes, he freezes on his tracks, as though he has just had a revelation. “Unless you have hooked up with him before and know his tricks.”

Even though Jihoon is somewhat serious, Daniel can't help but roll his eyes. The idea of falling for Hyunbin seems ridiculous to him, but Daniel understands why it's not ridiculous for Jihoon or Seongwoo. Hyunbin is attractive to the point he makes heads turn when he walks by, yet he isn't conceited about it. He doesn't care. It's his honesty and innocence what stole Seongwoo's attention, and that's the worst part, because that's the difference between a simple, shallow crush and something more that includes Hyunbin’s personality in the mix.

“Yes, I totally hooked up with all my friends,” Daniel spats at him, face unreadable.

Jihoon scoffs at him. “In your dreams, maybe. I know you fooled around with a few guys but you weren't that popular or that good at flirting,” he sentences Daniel, with a certainty that is unnerving for Daniel’s ego. He flashes a contented smirk at Daniel and adds, “I've been told.”

Daniel doesn't plunge into the trap, since he's not in a position to win, so he simply pats Jihoon's butt as he passes by. “You shouldn't expect my friends to tell you flattering things about me. They're too jealous for that.”

“Jealous of what, exactly?”

Daniel ignores that last question, but he can still hear Jihoon's muffled laughter, and that makes him happy enough not to fight back or get offended at his harmless attacks.

 

 

 

 

Daniel remembers Haknyeon's cousin, Sewoon, and not for a good reason. When Sewoon opens the door for them, it’s evident that Sewoon remembers him too, and that despite not having met each other in more than five years, he still thinks Daniel is a complete fool.

Daniel doesn't hold grudges against that; a fight when you're a kid seems like the most important thing in your life, and Daniel has always been bigger in size than other kids (and in this case, in age too), so Sewoon must have a nasty memory of him. On the other hand, Haknyeon must have completely forgotten that once upon a time his best friend and his cousin hated each other's guts, otherwise he wouldn't have freely invited them over. The other possibility is that Haknyeon overestimated their maturity.

However, it's impressive how fast Sewoon's mind works. In a matter of three seconds, he recognizes Daniel, pulls an ugly face and manages to come up with an improper greeting, “And here I thought you were gone forever. A bad penny always turns up.”

Jihoon, who is still taking off his shoes, lifts his head out of curiosity, as to decipher if that's a joke or not. Daniel wonders for a moment what Jihoon would do if Daniel actually got insulted or bullied in front of him, but Jihoon is used to listen to Daniel’s friends insulting him in a joking manner. It would be hard to notice the difference between them and Sewoon.

It's not a joke. Daniel can see in his eyes that he doesn't _mean_ it, regardless. It's a knee jerk reaction, just like Daniel wouldn't be content with Minhyun's company even if they already settled their issues.

“I love you too,” Daniel replies, reaching out to pat Sewoon on the shoulder, and Sewoon looks at his own shoulder like he got dirt on it. “Don't worry, I came for the pool.”

Though Sewoon is inevitably surprised at the calm, collected response from Daniel, he still mutters under his breath, “And for my food too, probably.”

“That's right,” Jihoon agrees behind Daniel, approaching them with an oblivious smile. “Hide the food.”

Sewoon is too civilised to let Jihoon know that he wasn’t being nice to Daniel, and cautious enough for Daniel not to worry as they introduce each other. Haknyeon and Jaehwan are already in the garden, and judging how wet Jaehwan's hair is and how his belongings are scattered around, they have been there for a while.

Jihoon doesn't hesitate to strip and jump directly into the pool, before Jaehwan can even try to push him. Not in the mood to fight Jaehwan’s enthusiasm, Daniel sits with Haknyeon, who is under the shadow of a pool umbrella, drying his hair and ignoring Jaehwan’s screams to get him back into the water. Sewoon trails after him, which Daniel finds odd because he's used to Sewoon walking away from him, but it's his house and he can do anything he wants, after all.

“When are you leaving?” Haknyeon asks him right away, as though he can smell the disappointment.

There isn’t any way to not make it disappointing, however, and Daniel can’t prevent Haknyeon’s face from falling flat as he confirms, “Tomorrow.”

“And I'm supposing right if I suppose you're not spending the night with us,” Haknyeon continues.

Guilt seeping out, Daniel can only draw a forced smile. “You're too smart for your own good.”

All in all, Daniel wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't spend the last night alone with Jihoon. It has been a short trip and in the end Daniel has the strange feeling that they didn't get the most out of it, perhaps because they were worrying about first meetings and impressions. Daniel has shown the town to Jihoon, but not much more. They should have dedicated more time to themselves, and even if it’s true that Daniel hasn’t seen his old friends in a while – and he won’t see them again in the near future – he doesn’t think he will have the chance to live this with Jihoon again. A first time, somewhere, somehow, is always different.

“Boyfriend?” Sewoon deduces. He tears the towel off Haknyeon's hands, since his cousin's hair is already dry but he won’t stop ruffling his hair. Sewoon knows Daniel enough to read the answer in his face, for better or for worse, so he continues, “I can't believe you date people now.”

“I'm not fourteen anymore,” Daniel reminds him, not able to contain his laughter. Sewoon shows him his most dumbfounded expression, as though Daniel is dumb for voicing out that thought; but the way Sewoon worded it amuses Daniel. “Neither are you.”

That seems to have more logic in Sewoon's mind, because he nods. Much to Daniel’s dismay, Sewoon then shows him a falsely timid smile and explains, “You're always going to be fourteen and an asshole in my eyes. You did a good job.”

“At being fourteen?”

“God, I forgot how annoying you two were when you were together,” Haknyeon cuts them off in exasperation. He pats Sewoon’s thigh, a clear warning, and smiles at him just like a threatening sibling would do. “Maybe you should catch up with each other. Act your age. Be mature. That stuff.”

Daniel doesn’t need to look at Sewoon to know that he’s rolling his eyes. It would be weird to tell each other what they have been up to, unless they were drunk and overwhelmed by a surge of nostalgia. Daniel guesses it would be hard to accept that even if they disliked each other, time can transform someone he hated into someone he’s fond of because they were part of his life too. Missing the bad parts is possible too.

Funnily enough, as soon as Haknyeon walks back into the house, not minding that he’s leaving them alone, Sewoon glances at Daniel like he’s considering his cousin’s advice. Maybe young, teen Sewoon wouldn’t have taken the last step, but Daniel doesn’t know anything about adult Sewoon, and that’s why he can’t be shocked when Sewoon opens his mouth.

“How did you meet him?” he asks, pointing at Jihoon with a movement of his head.

It’s impossible for Daniel to stop the smirk that blooms on his face. If it wasn’t Sewoon asking, he might have felt embarrassed, but deep inside he’s sure that Sewoon would be more embarrassed than him. Still, he opts for keeping his dignity.

“Wrong question. You don’t want to hear about that.”

“Oh my god, Daniel,” Sewoon answers, grossed out without needing more explanations. His imagination does all the work, and Daniel cackles when Sewoon shrugs. “At least I tried.”

Daniel acknowledges it with a shrug too, and then observes Jihoon, whose head is being held under the water due to Jaehwan’s malicious tricks. Jihoon isn’t going to like his friends that much after suffering how evil Jaehwan can be, but as long as Jaehwan doesn’t hurt him, Daniel thinks he can take a bit of his own medicine.

“To be honest, we should come up with a decent story to tell,” Daniel says under his breath. Sewoon lifts an eyebrow at him, as to ask if Daniel expects him to help and remind him that he won’t. “Don’t look at me like that. Did you think one day I’d become a gentleman with a romantic story to tell?”

Sewoon didn’t. But he doesn’t confirm that; he throws the towel at Daniel’s face and says, “Stop talking or you will end up telling me everything. You suddenly sound like you want to. And dude, I thought you were straight.”

 

 

 

 

“I’m going to have nightmares about Jaehwan and _water_ ,” Jihoon whines, plopping down on the passenger’s seat.

Daniel doesn’t doubt that’s a possibility, but Jihoon had it coming for trusting someone that made fun of his boyfriend without remorse. Jihoon nudges him when he catches Daniel laughing at him, and Daniel struggles to ruffle his hair. Since Jihoon tries to stop him, feigning anger, he accidentally knocks the handbrake in the process and both of them release high pitched screams. The car even moves down the street for a few seconds before they manage to stop it, and then Jihoon bursts into laughter upon Daniel’s incredulous stare. Only when they’re safe and sound, but for some reason Jihoon finds the danger hilarious.

“You’re going insane,” Daniel warns him. “It’s the air of this town, I’m telling you.”

“It’s not!” Jihoon protests, covering his mouth in a failed attempt to hide his laughter. “It’s your fault. I was dying under the water and my brain didn’t have enough oxygen and now I’m _affected_.”

Daniel stares at him for longer than he should, in silence, until Jihoon’s laughter evaporates. Replacing it with a confused expression, Jihoon gets defensive and sputters, “What?”

“Nothing,” Daniel replies with a smile. It’s making Jihoon nervous, he can tell, but that’s not something he can fix. “You’re cute.”

Usually, Jihoon would agree with him, maybe he would even boast or would say that he didn’t need Daniel to tell him. However, Jihoon stays mute as Daniel turns on the engine, and it takes Daniel a few seconds to realize why. It was the tone he used. A tone he would have used to say _I love you_ , not _you’re cute_. It’s a first for Daniel too to discover that he can tell Jihoon he loves him in many ways, and that Jihoon will read the message between the lines. Either because he’s smart or because he has mastered Daniel’s thoughts.

“I like this town,” Jihoon comments a few minutes later. He’s looking out the window, watching their surroundings with intent though they’re just passing by the houses of the neighborhood. “And your friends. Even Sewoon. I’m not stupid and I could feel there was something wrong between you two, but even him feels like he’s part of your family.”

Daniel swallows hard, whatever he has to swallow – his emotions, his mistakes, his fear - and answers with a simple, “I’m relieved you like it.”

Noticing the intention of avoiding the topic, Jihoon turns on his seat to look at Daniel. It’s a good thing that Daniel has to keep his eyes on the road, yet he’s still aware of how Jihoon is gazing at him. He would have felt it even if they had been many feet away.

“You’re different here too.”

Daniel scoffs, but it’s just because he’s scared of the intensity in Jihoon’s tone. “Better or worse?”

“Different,” Jihoon insists, serious.

But that’s all he has to share, because he shifts again to pay attention to the exterior and they fall into a long silence. It’s not bothersome, however, because that sort of silence doesn’t exist between them anymore, and Daniel uses that time to ponder over Jihoon’s words. In a way, Daniel is sure that Jihoon is talking about how he’s free here, surrounded by people who know who he is in his core, under all the layers he’s added over the years. He doesn’t have to act like an university student, to please the lecturers or to get on well with other students; here he’s a kid, no boundaries, and that’s when the real Daniel appears.

Even if the rest of the ride is calm, at home Jihoon runs to turn on the heater, moving around like it’s his own house. It’s not cold, but after spending all day in the pool Daniel suspects Jihoon might have gotten sick, so he decides not to argue with him about the temperature. They change into their pajamas, dry each other’s hair until Daniel complains it smells like they burned it, and then Jihoon reads the last of Seongwoo’s embarrassing messages out loud.

“We don’t have dinner, right?” Jihoon asks him, curling up on the couch and wrapping himself in a blanket.

“Doesn’t that mean _please Daniel make dinner for me_?” Daniel points out with a smirk. Jihoon doesn’t have any intention of helping, judging the pitiful stare he’s dedicating Daniel from the couch, so he adds, “You’re shameless.”

“And you’re weak,” Jihoon retorts. Since Daniel is striding into the kitchen by then, he assumes that Daniel must have not heard him, so he shouts next, “I’m going to choose a movie!”

They barely have food anymore, and Daniel realizes they won’t be able to have breakfast tomorrow, which will make Jihoon whine until they stop at a restaurant in the middle of the road. Daniel is hungry too, though, so he collects all the food and cooks it – he puts it in the microwave, because they didn’t but anything that required real cooking.

By the time Daniel steps into the living room, Jihoon has a few DVDs on his lap, mostly the movies Daniel used to watch during his childhood. There aren’t many movies at home, anyhow, and they don’t have connection to make use of Netflix, so these are their only choices.

“This is going to be so romantic,” Jihoon sarcastically tells him as he watches how Daniel sets the plates on the table. “Kids’ version of Netflix and chill.”

Daniel bumps Jihoon’s head with the palm of his hand, making him fall on his side. Wrapped in the blanket, he doesn’t have limbs to support himself, so it sounds like a dead weight hitting the couch. “I don’t want to hear kids and Netflix and chill in the same sentence ever again.”

“So strict,” Jihoon complains, grimacing. “It was a joke. Get under the blanket with me.”

It’s almost a challenge, because Jihoon bursts into small giggles, resisting, as Daniel tries to unroll Jihoon. It’s not that hard to win over Jihoon, after all, because he becomes a mess when Daniel tickles him and his size makes easy for Daniel to trap him against the couch. Daniel finds himself laughing too, even if Jihoon is making his best efforts to annoy him tonight.

Once they’re settled, they choose the only movie Jihoon hasn’t watched yet and compete to prove who can eat more. The couch is big enough for both of them, so after eating they lie down together, blanket over them, and Daniel spoons Jihoon, entangling their hands against Jihoon’s stomach. Though at first Jihoon is engrossed in the movie, Daniel expects him to fall asleep at some point. But he doesn’t. By the time he should have fallen asleep, it has passed more than half of the movie, Jihoon has guessed how it ends, and instead of drifting off to sleep, he turns around to face Daniel.

“What is it?” Daniel whispers, amused.

Jihoon opens his mouth for several seconds, no words coming out, until he firmly says, “Turn it off.”

Daniel can’t read Jihoon’s expression nor his tone, and that scares him. Jihoon might want to have a serious conversation, and just that, but Daniel doesn’t imagine what that could be. Still,  Daniel fishes for the remote, which is under them, and obeys Jihoon’s wishes without showing that he’s worried.

When the noise of the movie disappears, he pets Jihoon’s hair to encourage him, drawing a soft smile that is meant to calm both him and Jihoon. It doesn’t work, because Jihoon has forgotten his hand is on Daniel’s hip, and that’s why Daniel knows he’s trembling.

But Jihoon doesn’t talk, like Daniel supposed he would do. Jihoon closes the distance and presses a kiss on Daniel’s lips, and he does it with a hint of shyness, as though it’s their first kiss and he’s weighing up if Daniel will accept it or not. Daniel would ask what’s going on, yet it feels out of place, feels like it would hurt Jihoon. And when Jihoon pulls away for a split second, there are many questions in his eyes, like he’s surprised at his own actions too, and Daniel knows it would be wrong to contribute to their confusion.

So Daniel holds Jihoon’s chin and pulls him closer, and that seems to be all Jihoon needs to kiss him more firmly, confident, not as if he’s stealing a kiss. Daniel has a hunch as Jihoon deepens the kiss, licking into his mouth, but he lets Jihoon continue. Even though Jihoon is more comfortable now, the doubt lingers as he slowly grips Daniel’s hair, and Daniel is afraid too, because he suddenly realizes why Jihoon asked him to turn off the TV, why he’s trying to convince him with his lips instead of with his words.

Daniel isn’t going to lie to himself or Jihoon. He wants this too, and once upon a time he wanted only this only; not from Jihoon, but also from anyone that he slept with. It’ funny how the game has changed for him, how his main worry is that Jihoon loves him as much as Daniel loves him, that he’s certain he wants to take this step. It’s silly how he’s concerned about Jihoon’s trembling hands, and frustrated because he can’t find the words to reassure Jihoon.

“Should we go to the room?” Daniel asks in a whisper, holding Jihoon in place so that he can’t interrupt him with a kiss.

Jihoon looks at him for a second until he understands, dazzled, and then shakes his head. “Here,” is all he manages to mutter.

Daniel doesn’t have time to register that Jihoon is kissing him again, wet lips against his mouth, and then they’re switching positions, Jihoon climbing on top of him. Daniel feels the heat as Jihoon presses against him, kissing first his mouth, then the corner of his mouth, and then down his neck. Daniel releases a soft groan and pulls at Jihoon’s shirt, too overwhelmed to articulate anything. He caresses Jihoon’s back as he hovers over him again, and they get rid of more clothes between kisses; Daniel doesn’t even know where they’re kissing, sometimes on their lips, sometimes not, and Jihoon isn’t moving fast, but the moment runs before Daniel’s eyes like a flash.

They have done this before, they have gone this far, and they have always backed off in time. But tonight Jihoon whispers _I’m sure I’m sure I’m sure_ against Daniel’s lips, and Daniel shakes under him, as though it’s the first time he’s touching Jihoon this way. Yet he’s ready too, because Jihoon isn’t lying to him, and because Daniel has never wanted someone this much before, nor never wanted to be loved by someone this much. So they don’t stop.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> H-hi, I'm back after... a few months. Thanks to whoever still remembers this never-ending fic exists lol and yeah I'm going to finish it now that I have time to write this properly!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ongnielwink)   
>  [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/berryboys)


	15. Chapter 15

Contrary to what he expects, Daniel doesn't wake up feeling tired. In fact, when he opens his eyes he's brimming with energy, a knot of nervousness in his stomach. It isn't an unpleasant sensation, even though it's new for Daniel, and it makes him feel like a kid who was promised what he most wanted.

Daniel is not alone, since Jihoon hasn't left the bed yet, and judging his peaceful expression, he's far away from reality, far away from waking up. He has one leg and one arm draped over Daniel, as to make sure he's still there, and that's the only reason why Daniel can't move without disturbing him. However, Jihoon is still half naked, wearing a t-shirt Daniel supposes he must have found during the night, so Daniel pulls up the blankets up to cover him. It's almost ridiculous that they have ended up in bed, considering how exhausted they were, but they managed to take a shower at four in the morning and get into bed, clean and partially wet. Now it's almost noon, and Daniel is sure Seongwoo or Hyunbin will be calling him in no time to make sure they didn't get lost on their way back.

It wasn't a good idea to waste all the food last night, but Daniel didn't plan they would sleep in, so he reaches for the phone - the only move he can make - to order _anything_ in case Jihoon is as hungry as he is. He's not counting on Jihoon being affected by his voice, since Daniel can't order while whispering.

At first Jihoon simply blinks at him, lazy, staring up at him like he's checking if Daniel is real or not. Yet a few seconds later Jihoon is already telling him what to order, whining when he gets ignored, and Daniel even has to cover his mouth upon noticing the confusion of the guy who is taking the order.

“You’re starving me on purpose,” Jihoon accuses him after the phone call.

Daniel pats his butt and slides out of the bed, “Get up or I’m abandoning you here. And you don’t know this yet, but this house is haunted.”

Jihoon’s expressions shifts in the blink of an eye, and Daniel enjoys how he pretends that he wasn’t panicking one second ago as he states, “Kang Daniel, don’t lie.”

As an answer, Daniel shrugs and proposes, “You can take the risk and stay here alone.”

At first Jihoon is expressionless, which Daniel processes as a way to show him that he doesn’t believe him or isn’t afraid. But as soon as Daniel leaves the room, he hears Jihoon jumping off the bed and running after him, even tripping and falling on the carpet with a loud noise. Even though Daniel doesn’t openly cackle at him, Jihoon still catches him giggling, almost by intuition, and hits the back of his head for laughing at him.

 

 

 

 

Unlike Daniel predicted, none of his friends phone him in the whole day, even if he was supposed to arrive at home around noon. By the time Daniel is driving into the city, it’s night and Jihoon is making fun of him because he’s upset over the lack of concern from Seongwoo and Hyunbin. Daniel doesn’t want to admit that he’s a bit angry at them – for all they know, he could be dead. Jihoon could be a murderer that planned the whole relationship just to end Daniel.

He drops Jihoon off at his dorm first, which turns out to be difficult: they have spent too many hours together and Jihoon clearly doesn’t want to part ways, not even to sleep, and deep inside Daniel doesn’t want to either. In the end he has to threaten Jihoon with hitting the fire alarm if he doesn’t let Daniel go, and Jihoon frees him with a fake grumble that makes him sound like an old man.

The ride home feels much lonelier without Jihoon. That’s how Daniel knows he’s doomed, though he guesses it’s in a good way – it’s not a dependence feeling, but the fact that Jihoon gives him energy, makes him feel enthusiastic for no reason and over the dullest things, and when Jihoon is gone, Daniel has to return to a neutral mode that doesn’t feel _enough_.

However, Daniel doesn’t ponder about this once he reaches home. He knows something is wrong, odd, whatever he can call it, the moment he inserts the key in the lock. It’s blocked. And it’s not because the lock itself is blocked, but because there’s someone on the other side holding the door in place, not allowing Daniel to enter. He knows because: one, he has heard the footsteps running towards him as soon as he made a noise while leaving the suitcase by the door; two, Seongwoo ran so fast that he crashed against the door. Daniel would recognize his weak whine, which he released out of pain, anywhere.

“Can you wait for five minutes?” Seongwoo cries, and given the way his voice sounds, a notable lack of vocalization, his cheek is pressed against the door.

Daniel’s first reaction is negative. It’s his home too, and Seongwoo shouldn’t be preventing him from walking in. It’s implied that Seongwoo has done something Daniel isn’t going to like, that he’s hiding something, but Daniel can’t imagine what that could be. There are only a few reasons Daniel could get mad at Seongwoo, since he’s not very strict when it comes to house rules and gives in easily, so he doesn’t understand why Seongwoo would overreact to this extent. Unless he has decided to take in Minhyun as a new roommate.

“What the fuck? Seongwoo?” Daniel complains, trying to push the door open again. It's useless, however, because Seongwoo shrieks and lands all his weight over the door to compensate Daniel's strength; Daniel frowns , too dumbfounded to come up with a logical explanation for his friend's behaviour.

“Hey, Daniel, welcome back," Seongwoo pants, a nervous laugh bubbling up. "Now stay there for a moment and wait for me to open the door, yeah?”

Daniel might be not the brightest person in the world, but he's smart enough not to agree to that. And knowing Daniel, Seongwoo must be aware of that.

“No way, no. What did you do?” Daniel demands, dumbly knocking on the wood. Seongwoo, changing his strategy, double locks the door from the inside, and before Daniel can understand why, Seongwoo has let go of the door and Daniel can hear him running away to other part of the house. “Seongwoo!”

Cursing Seongwoo under his breath, Daniel takes at least thirty precious seconds to unlock the door, and when he finally manages to step in, he doesn't detect anything weird in the living room. That's why he rushes towards Seongwoo's room, and then to Hyunbin's, but both of them are completely empty. That leaves only Daniel's room, and he feels himself becoming angry even before he can check what Seongwoo could have done in his room.

Daniel stands in front of his own room and announces, “You either open and die fast or don't open and die slowly.”

“Daniel,” Seongwoo cries out, not being cooperative at all. “Trust me, you don't want to know. And it's not that bad, I only need three minutes without you here and I can fix it.”

“What,” Daniel punctuates, “did you do, Ong Seongwoo.”

There's a long pause, but right when Daniel is going to insist, Seongwoo's doubtful voice replies, “It's not what but who.”

All the determination Daniel held one second ago disintegrates in that exact moment. First, because his brain needs to make a great effort to understand that Seongwoo slept with someone. While Daniel was away. Second, because he is hiding in Daniel's room, and there isn't any other reason for that except that they have fucked in his room. Daniel can’t imagine why they would do that when Seongwoo has his own private space; the only thing he knows is that he must cut Seongwoo's head off and then set his bed on fire to eliminate the germs.

“Why the fuck are you in there?” Daniel asks, though he has no intention of receiving an answer. “You have three seconds before I kick the door open and you have to pay for it. One, two-”

Daniel must have sound different, _serious_ about his threat, because Seongwoo gives up without protesting. All in all, regret invades Daniel as soon as he’s able to peek into the room - if he can call peeking to stumbling inside like he's about to destroy someone.

Inside, the scene is beyond peculiar. Much to Daniel's luck, both boys are completely clothed, but the state of their hair and the fact that Seongwoo is wearing his shirt inside out proves that it hasn't been long since they were naked.

Daniel doesn't know what he supposed he would find, but he never considered the option of spotting Hyunbin with his legs curled up, arms around them, sitting on his bed with the guiltiest, most ashamed expression Daniel has ever seen on him. Seongwoo, on the other hand, is standing next to the desktop, his face so red that one would think he's about to burn to ashes. He would deserve that, Daniel thinks.

There are a few reactions to this situation that Daniel could have, yet he's just speechless. The last thing he knew about them was Seongwoo's text about Hyunbin provoking him on purpose, and then he lost track of them. And this happened, as absurd and unrealistic as it seems, because Daniel was afraid of leaving them alone and come back to a Seongwoo with his heart broken. He has come back to his bed tainted and two friends that have become pure, dirty traitors with no respect for his stuff whatsoever. What sort of person has sex in their best friend's bed?

“It's not-” Hyunbin begins, but he stammers under Daniel's furious state, and any excuse he had come up with is subdued.

“We just came here to look for condoms,” Seongwoo cautiously says, glancing at Hyunbin to check if he's okay with that revelation. Pretty funny, if you ask Daniel, considering it's more than obvious what has happened. Seongwoo gulps, fear in his eyes, and adds, “And then we forgot to leave.”

Daniel presses the heel of his hand against his eyes, seeing red. He has two options: kill them and dispose of their bodies, or invade Seongwoo's room for a month until he's certain his room is safe. Maybe that's not a good idea either, because now he ignores if Seongwoo's room is an innocent, neutral space or it has been contaminated as well.

“You two better find a way to make up for this,” Daniel warns them, and Hyunbin retreats in himself, eyes wide, as if Daniel is asking for his first born. “I'm sleeping in Hyunbin's bed because… of obvious reasons, and I'm boycotting this relationship.”

Needless to say, Daniel doesn’t mean that, but Seongwoo seems to believe him, gasping right before Daniel closes the door in their faces. Daniel drags his suitcase to Hyunbin’s room, makes sure that there isn’t anything _suspicious_ inside, and then falls into bed with a loud groan.

Somehow, he supposes he should be even angrier than he is, if just he wasn’t this tired. He doesn’t even have strength to text Jihoon about it. He’s so upset about his beloved sheets that the realization that Hyunbin and Seongwoo are together doesn’t sink in, but in the back of his mind there’s a weak voice warning him that _this,_ what has happened, is wonderful. Even if right now he can only worry about the hygiene of his bed.

 

 

 

 

“I hate that the break is over,” Seongwoo laments for the third time, during the third lecture they have attended today, and consequently having disturbed Daniel three times since they sat down.

He understands it, really, because returning to reality after spending his holidays alone with Jihoon – which it feels like a dream by now – could even equal to being tortured. Daniel swears architecture wasn’t this boring before he met Jihoon.

Still, Daniel rolls his eyes, since he can’t scoff out loud in class, and reminds him, “I think you enjoyed your break just fine.”

Seongwoo is indecent enough not to bat an eye at the insinuation. They haven’t had much private time to discuss the details of how Seongwoo confessed to Hyunbin, but from what Daniel gathered, it was a mess and sexual rather than romantic. That’s why he’s not that interested in the details.  

“So did you,” Seongwoo remarks, wiggling his eyebrows.

Daniel lifts his pen and points at Seongwoo like he intends to stab him, “Don’t do that, it’s gross.”

Though Seongwoo doesn’t continue, his knowing smile has plenty of power to irritate Daniel. The first question Seongwoo asked, after babblering about Hyunbin for hours straight, was if Daniel had slept with Jihoon. Daniel has no idea how Seongwoo reached that conclusion so fast, when Daniel didn’t mention anything sexual before leaving home, and much less when he arrived.

Seongwoo came up with a ridiculous explanation about how Daniel looked like he had been injected life, and that only sex could be that effective. To be honest, Daniel had been celibate for so long that he suspects Seongwoo’s theory could be true. But he prefers thinking that if there’s a glow up, it’s because they feel safer in their relationship after the trip, not just because they had sex. Call him an idealist.

Daniel nudges Seongwoo’s arm so that he focuses on the lecture, but much to his dismay he can’t help but be glad of how the events turned out. Seongwoo is happy, Hyunbin is happy, and Daniel might be a bit grossed out, but it’s for the better.

Seongwoo elbows him after the lecture, as they pick up their stuff, and drops the bomb, “Rumor has it that Woojin is upset at you.”

Truth to be told, Daniel hasn’t talked to him since they came back – and successfully ignored all his texts – but Woojin isn’t the type to hold grudges for long. Or that’s what Daniel thinks. The moment they walk into the cafeteria for lunch and he spots Woojin, Euiwoong and Jihoon in a corner, Daniel notices the gloomy look on Woojin’s face.

Seongwoo whispers something along the lines of _I told you_ and Daniel becomes reticent of approaching them, but he can’t let Woojin sulk like he’s five years old and his mother is giving all her attention to his younger brother. Daniel wonders if that’s the real problem: not that Daniel is dating his beloved cousin, but that both Daniel and Jihoon have shifted their attention from Woojin to each other.

Jihoon beams up at him when they sit around the table, while Euiwoong and Woojin merely nod at them as acknowledgement. They’re discussing an assignment that Woojin is incapable of finishing without Euiwoong’s help, and Euiwoong is straight up blackmailing him.

“You’re the least exemplary law student ever,” Woojin says, glaring at him with a hint of desperation. Euiwoong’s determination is too strong, they all know, so Woojin will have to give into his requests to get something in exchange. Daniel has learned that accepting his blackmailing techniques doesn’t bring anything good, yet Woojin keeps falling for it.

“And you’re the worst student from your promotion,” Euiwoong reminds him, a grin on his face. “I didn’t even take that subject and here you are, begging me for help.”

“Don’t be so harsh on him,” Daniel lightly reprimands him.

He pats Woojin’s back to cheer him up, and though Woojin looks hopeful for a moment, Euiwoong raises his eyebrows at them and sentences, “Your kind flocks together, I know.”

“He’s about to graduate,” Jihoon defends him, smiling at Daniel as if he had seen him suffer through all the college years. He pushes Euiwoong’s forehead with his index finger and adds, “You undergraduate piece of shit.”

Perhaps any other day Euiwoong would have lashed out at him, since Jihoon went for his main weakness, but today Euiwoong merely smiles, amused. “Dick power made you offensive.”

Jihoon throws a napkin at him, which only drags a maniac laughter out of Euiwoong. “Your existence is offensive.”

Conscious of what they’re talking about, and a bit surprised because Jihoon didn’t waste any time before spreading the news, Daniel takes a peek at Woojin, afraid of his reaction. Woojin is already staring at him with a bored expression, and Daniel can’t tell if it’s because he hasn’t understood the hint or because he doesn’t care.

“I already knew. Some people, unlike _you_ , trust me.”

The first thing Daniel does is look for reassurance in Jihoon. Jihoon nods as a silent reply, and it’s quite shocking for Daniel, since Jihoon has gone from not wanting to tell Woojin about their relationship to including him in such an important thing.

“To be this young, you surely act like a grumpy old man,” Daniel retorts.

“Let me live,” Woojin demands right away, pushing Daniel’s face away even if he’s not even close to begin with. Then his gaze fixes somewhere behind Daniel, and Daniel turns around just to see that Hyunbin is walking up to them with his own tray and a dumb smile – that smile isn’t directed to all of them, just to one person in particular. Woojin huffs, “I hate that everyone is suddenly dating.”

Seongwoo, who didn’t bother to get into their bickering before, sends him a judgmental look. His only aim is to make him shut up in case Hyunbin hears the word dating when neither of them have agreed that would be their status, even if it’s obvious for everyone except them. Daniel would think Seongwoo’s fears are a bit cute, but he’s still bitter about him being such a little shit.

On the other hand, Euiwoong tugs at Woojin’s sleeve, not so satisfied anymore, and spits, “I exist, thanks.”

“You’re going to die single, so you don’t count,” Woojin replies, barely turning to glance at him.

The look on Euiwoong’s face is priceless, especially considering it’s _him_. Woojin doesn’t see it, nor does Seongwoo because he’s welcoming Hyunbin next to him, but Jihoon and Daniel exchange a knowing gaze and have to cover their mouths not to laugh out loud. In the end Euiwoong will help Woojin with his assignment, even if he has to receive something in return ( but he’s doing a good job at teaching Woojin that nothing is free) and they will stop fighting each other for a while as usual.

“We have something to announce,” Hyunbin says all of a sudden, loudly setting his tray on the table.

For a second Daniel does pay attention to him, like the fool he is, wondering why Hyunbin seems to have been gathering his courage for this moment, sticking out his chest and standing as tall as he is.

But then Seongwoo snorts and pats the back of his thigh, “Hyunbin, everybody knows. Don’t embarrass me and sit down.”

“Really?” Hyunbin whispers, torn between the offense and the amazement. He opts for following Seongwoo’s advice, however, and sulks on his seat. “Why can’t anyone in this damn group keep secrets?”

“You shouldn’t keep secrets, Hyunbin,” Woojin reproaches, but there’s a smile on his lips. Daniel suspects it was him who spread the news, since Seongwoo didn’t have Daniel around and his second option would undoubtedly be Woojin. Not like it was hard to spread it, but telling Euiwoong is enough to create chaos.

Much to Daniel’s surprise, Hyunbin shoots Woojin a fake nice smile and remarks, “You shouldn’t either, but there you are.”

“What does that even mean?” Euiwoong squints at them.

While Woojin looks like he’s about to throttle Hyunbin to death, Hyunbin just shrugs. Euiwoong isn’t going to let it go so easily, however, and Woojin knows that; that’s why he takes Euiwoong’s bread and shoves it into his mouth, as carefully as one can shove food into someone else’s mouth.

“Nothing,” Woojin lies, shameless, and the only reason Euiwoong can’t point this out is because he’s trying not to choke. “Shut up and eat.”

Daniel catches his eye for a moment and arches his eyebrows at him, skeptical, yet Woojin actively avoids any explanation, a hint of panic or embarrassment – Daniel can’t tell them apart when it comes to Woojin – on his face. Daniel doesn’t need the explanation, after all.

 

 

 

 

Among all the scenarios Daniel had imagined he would live while dating Jihoon, the least likely one was Jihoon being the bad influence. In all cases, Daniel had always been the bad influence, though that wasn’t hard to achieve around Hyunbin, Minhyun and Seongwoo.

Still, Daniel was under the impression Jihoon would be more responsible than him; there’s no way he would even try to insinuate they could skip classes. That possibility is out of his plans. But when they’re picking up their trays, Jihoon zigzags among their friends to stand next to Daniel and slings an arm around Daniel’s forearm, almost making his tray fall.

Daniel is about to scold him, since it wouldn’t be the first time he drops his tray and everyone in the cafeteria turns to look at him, but when he spins his head, he finds Jihoon gifting him a blinding smile.

“What is it?” Daniel asks him, suspicious.

Jihoon’s smile widens, which is an achievement considering his face shouldn’t be able to stretch more. “I want to go home,” he chirps up, eyes twinkling.

“Don’t you dare” Daniel protests, scrunching up his nose at him. “You’re not going to drag me into this.”

“You’re weak-minded,” Jihoon reminds him, like Daniel doesn’t know that himself. Like it’s not going to take a single insinuation for him to surrender. “You know why it’s a good idea? Because Woojin isn’t at the dorms to bother us. Because Seongwoo and Hyunbin are here and not at your house right now.”

Daniel stops on his tracks, groaning. Jihoon merely stares up at him, patient, well aware that he’s winning this. “You can’t do this every day, you know?” Daniel complains.

“I’m doing it today,” Jihoon corrects him, unbothered. “Will you stop me tomorrow too? Maybe. Maybe not.”

Euiwoong, who is walking past them, sends them a scorning look, “Just go, Daniel. None of you will get good grades anyway.”

“Very helpful, thanks,” Daniel retorts, though he couldn’t care less about Euiwoong bullying them. He’s right, after all, even if Daniel won’t give him the pleasure of agreeing with him. His gaze wavers back to Jihoon, who is looking up at him with a hopeful spark in his eyes. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Despite looking incredibly satisfied at the compliment, and at what it means, Jihoon still tells him, “I’m lucky I have you.”

Daniel doesn’t have time to react; it happens too fast, Jihoon telling him that, tiptoeing to plant a small kiss on his lips, and then spinning on his heels to jog after Euiwoong. Daniel stands there, not understanding why he’s so shocked at those words - they have told each other more heartfelt things – nor understanding why he can barely breathe for a moment. He observes how Jihoon walks away with a big grin on his face, but he doesn’t realize that his lips have drawn a similar smile on his own face. He might be the luckier one between the two, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, about this chapter: I know some people expected smut but, my beloved people, this fic has always been PG, I couldn’t do that hahaha.  
> Even though this is the last chapter, I might consider writing an epilogue after a while – once I have rested from the story and managed to have a general view of what this fic has become.  
> I started writing this fic when nielwink wasn’t even a thing, and so many months have gone by that I saw nielwink rise and become one of the main ships of the fandom. I know that by now a lot of people who started reading this fic aren’t interested in nielwink anymore, but to those who read and enjoyed it in any moment throughout these 9 months?? (omg it feels like I’m having a baby, wtf), thank you so much. Nielwink was so small when I started writing this that I never thought this fic would receive so much love, and still today I’m shocked at how many people read, kudosed and commented. I’m even more surprised at how constant some of you were and how we’ve exchanged comments after every chapter. I could have dropped this fic on the way, especially when life got me busy and I lost motivation, but I just went back to reread the comments and that’s what made me committed to finishing it. I’m both relieved (lol) and sad it’s over, but I hope everyone has enjoyed and suffered this fic as much as I did ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for everything  
> Since it's the last time we might see each other, and as usual, you can find me here [Twitter](https://twitter.com/caixubun)  
> [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/berryboys)


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